Unequal marriage: if a man is much older

He is in love with you without a memory: he falls asleep with presents, invites you to the best restaurants, carries them to rest on fashionable resorts. He can tell about all his problems - he will listen, understand and give good advice. His tenderness, care and foresight have won your heart: you are ready even to marry tomorrow. Of course, after him like a stone wall! But how to tell the parents that the chosen one is twenty years older? Of course, you yourself understand that an uneven marriage is fraught with a lot of pitfalls. Therefore, it is better now to weigh "for" and "against" than after bitterly regretting a warped life.
In general, the issue of unequal marriages is controversial. Interest of mature men to young girls is understandable: at a certain age coevals cease to inspire. Quite a different alignment, when next - a young, dazzlingly cheerful creature with fresh skin and a wonderful figure. The man feels much better: he is experiencing a second youth, turning from a solid, adult uncle to an imposing handsome man with an early graying temples.

However, in fact, many representatives of the stronger sex marry the young virgin because of their own uncertainty. This happens when a man tries to prove that he is still about-go-go! And even able to have a love affair with a young girlfriend.

It also happens in another way. A man wants to be the head of the family, but because of the nature of his character, he is afraid that in marriage with an experienced, personally strong partner, he can not take this family role.

In such cases, he usually already has experience - perhaps not the only one - not a very successful marriage with a woman of his age. And then he takes a young girl as a wife to feel himself a full-fledged master, who will be obeyed and will not be contradicted.

Some girls like older girls
Now let's find out why the young girls are drawn to the gentlemen, who are suitable for them almost as fathers. Often the cause is the psychological problems of a girl who needs someone who could be worshiped and who could take care of her. It's no secret that over the years, men often become more beautiful and become more attractive: financial stability is gained, experience comes, a man knows how to present his strengths competently and in a favorable light. This, of course, can attract a young beauty. In addition, to marry a person who has taken place can push her and the events in the family. For example, when a girl gets divorced, her father often stops paying enough attention to her. And this lack of love, she tries to at least something to compensate. The girl is trying to find a person who can replace her father, and finds him in the face of his age-old spouse. Or, say, a girl is the only child in the family and is still a parent for the parents, a girl who needs to be protected at all costs. Parents raised a girl in greenhouse conditions. As a result, she is afraid at the subconscious level of losing this guardianship. In extreme cases, she agrees to move under the wing of her husband. But not every peer will be able to give the same care and comfort: a man who is able to replace his parents must be at least twenty years older. This is where the essence of the future conflict lies. After all, the role of "daughter" can not last forever. A young woman will outgrow her sooner or later. The young wife will want to go further, develop and grow, be an equal partner in her family, and not obey her husband without having the right to vote.

Conflict of interest
The girl grows up, the man grows old, and it's hard for them to get along together. The main problem of "unequal marriage" is the difference not so much in years, as in views, in culture of upbringing, in tastes, in habits, in relation to life. A young girl sometimes wants to go to the cinema, to a noisy merry party. And an adult husband who is easier to stay at home and sit in silence or in front of the TV, begins to behave like a child: - "Oh, you disgusted me to see! Of course, I'm too old for you. " And I feel sorry for him, and myself too ...

Therefore, if you are going to marry a man much older than yourself, it's worth talking about everything in advance - so that you do not blame the evil unjust fate, and even your spouse. Are you both willing and respectful of each other's preferences and desires?

The main thing is never to turn life into violence over one's own personality under any circumstances. She, this life, only one, and you just have to live it harmoniously and happily!

Happy no matter what
And yet there are enough examples of quite successful marriages between people with a significant age difference. Moreover, it can be different in the ideology of the family. Sometimes spouses are quite happy when the wife is engaged exclusively in housekeeping, she is the mother and the keeper of the hearth. Or it is a marriage of like-minded people united by a common cause. But whatever the marriage, if there is a big difference in age in favor of the spouse, this does not in the least reduce the number of problems, but only adds them.