However, such behavior scenarios are more suitable for Europe or America. In Russia, quite often the spouses continue to hate each other sincerely. Female revenge is terrible, but it is often petty and quite harmless. But male hatred after a divorce can have very serious devastating consequences.
What does his hatred mean after the divorce? In Russia, she can not mean anything personal. So it is customary for us: to part with enemies, to spoil each other's nerves half a lifetime or all life, to quarrel with friends and relatives who dare communicate with the former, and in some cases mercilessly revenge.
The inability to complete a relationship with dignity, to get out of them without tension and further problems, is quite common. Of course, apart from common traditions, behind such behaviors can be personal characteristics of a person. Often a man hates his ex-wife because there are some unresolved, unsolved problems. And sometimes his hatred is a sign of his feelings that are not yet extinct. By the way, the opposite can also be true: sometimes a man has already cooled to his wife, and even found a new passion. And his ex-wife continues to wait, hope and believe. If she also calls him or writes SMS messages while she continues to discuss it with her friends, it only fuels his negative feelings towards his ex-wife.
There are different ideas about how the process of divorce occurs. Some psychologists say that a decision must be made to make a decision about divorce. This can be any critical event in the life of the family. For example, the betrayal or death of a child. And the birth of a child sometimes becomes the source of endless quarrels between spouses. Other psychologists - a more numerous group - are sure that no extreme event in the life of the spouses is capable of destroying their relationship just like that. This is always preceded by a certain confluence of unfavorable circumstances, which prepare the ground for the family to collapse at the first encountered difficulty.
If you are divorced from a spouse and want to understand what his hatred means after a divorce, you should first determine the stages of the process of disintegration of relations. It happens that the spouses do not coincide in their perception of the relationship, and then one of them is already ripe for the gap and ready to leave, and the other still believes in a common future. Of course, in this situation, both have a hard time.
The situation is aggravated by another unpleasant fact. Very often men, leaving the family, do this only in order to parrot a wife with a possible rupture. They can go away and return several times until they make a final decision. Wife, at the time of this decision, as a rule, has already morally surrendered and prepared to remain alone. So after the divorce, she no longer has sharp emotions and strength for hatred. If the divorce happens at the initiative of the wife, it is often sudden, final and irreversible. Women tend to accumulate and keep the negative inside, and if they decide to leave, they do it once and for all. Women are much less likely to rush between different houses, and with a rare exception, if they leave "to their mother," they do this forever. Such is the statistics that if a woman decides to leave the family, to return it is much more difficult than a man.
If we add here the sharpness of the decision, then we can understand the level of frustration of such an abandoned husband. Frustration is what is commonly called "breakage" in common speech, it is the blockage of important life motives that occurs against the will of a person. And he often can not influence these blockages. So frustration is a kind of incorrigible "bummer", which provokes a reaction of violent aggression. And aggression can manifest itself in different ways - in the form of hatred, revenge, abuse and scandals, and even in the form of assault.
To avoid problems with male hatred after a divorce, we must try to speak as fully as possible of all the problems that led to it. Let these conversations be fraught with pain and negative emotions, but it is better to talk than to leave each other in perplexity. And even if some time has passed after receiving papers on divorce, and you feel that the ex-husband continues to fuel sharp negative feelings for you, it is not too late to sit down at the negotiating table. The main thing - do not blame him indiscriminately. In any conflict, both sides are to blame - this important rule will help you not to offend a person in vain. If you have not approached one another or found a common language, this does not mean that one of you is hopeless. Therefore, talking with him is about what one feels and thinks about personal opinion, and not try to present his claims as evidence of his worthlessness.