Fortunately or regret, but the post-Soviet countries, in particular the Russian Federation, is one of the leading countries in the world by the number of divorces. According to official statistics, based on the last census in 2002, more than 800,000 people have been divorced in the country. When calculating the average, it turns out that for every 1000 marriages, there are 800 divorces. These figures shock the mind, but most of all, the psychological environment that occurs after the process of divorce is shocking. As a rule, the initiator of divorce is a man, but it is not uncommon for a woman to divorce as a measure of the decision of chilled feelings.
The reasons can be different, here the fact remains, the feelings have faded away, and people can not be together. Importantly, if the divorce is filed by the spouse, he expects to follow the extraordinary perception of the spouse. Rarely when a husband silently put up with this approach, at least in most cases, there are various attacks, threats, domestic violence. To avoid such conflicting precedents, it is very important how a woman will tell her husband about the impending divorce.
To begin with, it's worth saying that it's not worth talking to your spouse about your decision about divorce. This in the first place can turn into trouble for you. Before divorce, it is best to talk with a man beforehand, to feel his psychological state, his readiness to survive this life situation. Yes, yes, men, in spite of their vitality and courage, are very vulnerable in such matters. Psychologically, a person can simply be taken out of balance, which can be tragic for him, and you do not need to have a fault on your, even if indirect, fault! At once at many women, there are many questions in style "about what it is desirable to speak with the husband before divorce?". On this question, not a single psychologist can answer unambiguously.
Firstly, for the sole reason that there is a certain difference, to say about divorce, to a husband with whom you have lived more than 10 years, and to a husband with whom you are bound by a shorter period. If you live with your husband for more than 10 years, then the factor of attachment of the spouse to you will play a big role. You probably had time to study all of his habits and emotions, so you should talk with your husband before divorce about a similar problem. For example, to tell (maybe fictitious) the story of the divorce that happened to your girlfriend, inadvertently as a joke you can drop an example, substituting yourself. See how the man reacts to your cue. If silent or restrained, it means that he is ready at a subconscious level to such a turn of events, if there are indignant replicas, in the style of "what kind of nonsense", etc., this clearly indicates that you need to prepare it further .
If there is a moment when it is necessary to talk about the divorce itself, then do it with a confident voice, while in no way blame the man. Do not say that the whole hitch in it, in extreme cases, say, "that's what the stars have ordered." Male pride here is not relevant. Talking to your husband before divorce - it's always hard. This is internal fear and stress. But, to speak before the divorce with the spouse is simply necessary. It is necessary and, first of all, for your own well-being and tranquility. But what you should talk about with your husband before divorce, you already know, after reading this article.