When we are friends with a person, we believe that this is for life. But it happens that our friends change and disappoint us. And maybe we just come up with images, under which they are starting to come up with less and less time. And when such moments come, I want to understand how to behave and what to do.
One mistake
In order to know what to do, you first need to understand the root of the problem. Why did you disappoint your friend? How did he do it, and what led you to such a state of your soul? They say that if a friend did not do what we want, he still remains our friend. This statement is both false and false. Everyone has the right to make a mistake. If your friend has done something that is unacceptable to you, but it is not systematic, then you should try to get into his position and not be hacked. It is known that we see the eye with an odd eye, and we do not notice logs in ours. Therefore, before you say that you would never have done this, think, but were there such situations? Perhaps you yourself never experienced what your friend experienced, and if this happened to you, you would have done the same, or even worse. Therefore, if you understand that a person sincerely repents or is simply confused, then instead of condemning him, better support and help him get out of the situation.
Reels of coils
Quite a different conversation can be conducted in the case when the person behaves unacceptably for you systematically. In this case, we also need to understand why he does this. Perhaps a person fell into a bad influence, an event took place in his life that changed him for the worse, and so on. In general, always remember that people are unsteady suddenly bad. They either are such originally, or in their life there is something that makes them do things uncharacteristic for them. Therefore, if you see that your friend is behaving badly and disappointing you, analyze the latest developments in his life. Perhaps you need to talk about the situation, take it out of the state in which it is, or even reduce it to a psychologist.
Let's say your friend was a very loyal guy, he respected the women, and so on. But after the betrayal of the girl, he vruganchinaet lead a racket lifestyle, change women as gloves and act, to put it mildly, ugly. In this case, instead of talking with horror like he's a bastard, just try to understand him - a person in this way is experiencing great stress. He just turned on the protective mechanism, which at some point seemed to get stuck and he did not really understand what he was doing, just trying to somehow get rid of the mental pain. In this situation, you need to try to discuss with him all that is happening. But the conversation does not need to lead in style: "What happened to you, how could you, you were not so." Such statements cause irritation and aggression. Instead, you should simply remind him in passing of his good deeds, how others admired him, and so on. If you notice that a person starts to make contact, you can gently try to inform Done that his behavior is not a way out of the situation, because people who are not guilty of anything suffer. Just never blame your friend. Be sure, somewhere deep down, he himself is cheating for what he does, but if he hears the accusations, he immediately turns on the defensive mechanism of denial and justification. So your job is to gradually bring man in his normal state, while not being distracted, because he will begin to feel you that disappointment in him, which you yourself do not give rest.
Debunking the Idea
But it also happens that at a certain moment we are not being treated in a friend, not because he began to act incorrectly. No, something just happens and our eyes open. And then comes the understanding that this person was constantly acting badly, but we justified his actions, invented something that was not in fact and saw what they wanted to see. This situation is the most difficult and unpleasant. The fact is that here it is really difficult to change something. Of course, you can try to talk with your friend and explain to him that he is doing wrong. But often, when a person is accustomed to doing something and for a long time seeing that the surrounding people react normally, he is convinced of his rightness and perceives criticism as a simple nonsense. Therefore, there is very little chance that your friend will realize his mistakes and start living differently. Most likely, he will simply tell you that you are talking nonsense and will not change anything in your behavior. In such a situation, you must decide for yourself whether you need this person such as if or not you will be better off.
In a situation where you see that a friend is not doing well with you, the decision is obvious. It is never necessary to suffer a number of the common man, who frankly uses you, insults you, and so on. Your disappointment in this situation is a good impetus to break such relationships and communicate with those people who can appreciate others and make friends with them. It is much more difficult when your friend's unacceptable behavior is directed not at you, but at other people. In such situations it is very difficult to explain to him and yourself why you are disappointed. After all, it would seem that if he is a good friend for you, then why think about how he deals with others. However, it is difficult for many people to accept that a person wrongly and unfairly promises with those who do not deserve it. You can be disappointed in a friend for many reasons. For example, this is greed, pettiness, meanness in relation to strangers, cruelty and so on. In this case, the best way out of the situation will be gradually moving away from the person. Do not immediately grub with him relationship, because your action will kill in it all those remnants of a good, which were still. Therefore, you just have to gradually leave the person's life. Try to write less, call, see him, explaining that you do not have time and so on. But do not lose touch completely. Perhaps, having felt your cold, a person will think about his actions and at least change a little. By the way, you can occasionally point to his mistakes, but do it briefly and do not enter into discussions. Vashdrug simply need to be aware of the fact that you are condemning him. If you do not give him the opportunity to justify himself, it may happen that he will think about what he is doing. However, you never have great hopes and do not look for excuses. Unfortunately, you simply stood in person initially and for a long time deceived yourself. And now in time to recognize the truth and just gradually leave his life.