What if the children constantly quarrel?

Often rivalry begins to occur even before the second child was born and continues until the children grow up, and that and all life. They compete for everything from a new toy to the love of their parents. When one child develops into another degree of development, then their needs begin to greatly affect their relationship.

Children can see each other in an opponent to such a degree of rage that it is impossible to look at their constant crook. In this situation everyone suffers. How does this pause? What to do? Do I need parental intervention? You can help the children to make contact through some actions.

Why do children quarrel?

There is a variety of reasons for this. Very often, brothers and sisters feel rivalry and / orarity, and this leads to quarrels and scandals. But there are other reasons for children's quarrels.

1. Needs that are constantly growing. With age, each person changes, including a small child, in addition, fears change and the child develops as a person - it all affects the relationship between children. For example, young children between the ages of 1 and 3 are constantly trying to protect their toys and other important things from strangers, they are learning to insist on their own. Therefore, if the baby's sister or brother takes a toy, a book or another thing, it responds with a progressive response. Children who are already in school are defending equality of justice, so they do not understand why parents and other people are different in relation to their older brother or sister, besides, he can feel himself to be important. But the adolescents, on the contrary, are dominated by a sense of individuality and independence, because of this they refuse to help around the house, spend time with the family or look after the younger children. All this affects the relationship of children with a friend.
2. Character. Each child has a character plus this mood, personality traits, the ability to adapt to different situations, the nature - it also plays a crucial role in the relationships of children. For example, if one child is active and irritable, and the other is calm, then they will not be in conflict for long. A child who is constantly surrounded by parents' attention and care can not find a common language with an older sister who also needs love and comfort.
3. Special needs. Sometimes, because of illness, learning problems or emotional development, a child needs special purchases and attention to the parents. Other children may not understand such inequalities and can behave aggressively and irritably, so that the parents pay attention to it.
4. An example of behavior. The way parents solve conflict situations between themselves becomes a bright example for children. Therefore, if you with husbands problems calmly without aggression and with mutual respect, then, most likely, they will behave the same way in relation to each other. And if they, on the contrary, constantly watch screams, fights and claps of doors, be prepared for the fact that they will behave the same way.
   

What to do when a quarrel is born?

Quarrels between brothers and sisters - a fairly common phenomenon, even though they do not like it. In addition, the whole population can tolerate this only for the time being. How to be in this situation? What to do when a quarrel arises?

If you can, just do not interfere. If only you see that there is a threat of the use of physical force, then you need to intervene. If you are constant, then you will have completely different problems. Children will always wait for you to reconcile them, but they will not be able to learn to solve problems themselves. Besides that, children may think that you are not defending him, but the other side of the conflict, and you will not solve the problem, but only aggravate it. In addition, the child you are protecting will feel the permissiveness and the possibility of punishment, because parents always come to his aid.

If you notice that your children constantly call each other, then you need to teach them to express their feelings and emotions in the right words. This will bring more effect than if you put the children in the corner. Even then, you can teach children to solve the conflict independently. If you decide to intervene, then solve the problem with them, not instead of them.

What measures need to be taken with the intervention?

1. Divide the children so that they come to their senses and calm down. Even better, if you give them a little space and time, and then begin to discuss. If you want to teach something to children, then wait for the emotions to subside.
2. It is not necessary to find out who is in charge. If they are both in a platoon and both are arguing, it means that they are guilty too.
3. Try to do everything so that it would be profitable for everyone. For example, if they quarrel over a toy, then invite them to start a joint game.
4. When confronted with problems, they acquire the necessary skills that will be useful in adult life. Every child must learn to hear and appreciate someone else's opinion, be able to negotiate, make compromises and control their aggression.

How to help children build relationships?
Some tips with which you can avoid quarrels:

1. It is necessary to create certain rules of behavior. Try to inform the children that you can not call your friend, shout, fight and slam the door. Explain to them that, otherwise, consequences can not be avoided. So you teach children to be responsible for their actions, regardless of the situation.
2. Do not let the children think that everything should be even. It is not right. In some situations, one of the children needs something more.
3. Try to spend time with each child individually to meet their needs and interests. For example, if one child likes to draw in silence, then let's do it, and if the other one likes to walk, then go with him to the park.
4. Make sure that each child has his own personal space for personal interests - drawing, reading or playing with friends.
5. Explain to the children that, despite the fact that you establish rules of conduct and scold them for bad behavior, you still love them much.
6. If children freak out because of one thing (toys, console, books), then set the schedule for use - today one, tomorrow another. And if that does not help, then let's take the thing, take it.
7. Gather all the family and have fun. Watch movies, play board games, draw, read, play ball. Often children struggle for parental attention, so give them it.
8. If quarrels do not stop, then every weekend talk with the children. Repeat the rules of behavior, praise children for what they have learned to avoid conflicts.
9. Think of a game where children will receive certain points for good behavior, as well as for overcoming conflicts through compromise.
10. Learn to catch time when the children need to distract from each other and be alone. While one child is playing with friends, you play with the other.

Remember that your attention is the most important for your children, so they compete for it. In that case, take the time out yourself. If you do not pay attention to anyone. That will not be amputated because of what.