Work on bugs
Psychologists are sure that the sad experience and bad memories help us to learn useful lessons from life. Most accurately we describe those moments and troubles in which we once were ourselves and who we are to blame for. Therefore, best of all, we draw from them experience and in the future, how to act in a similar situation.
Our idea of ourselves is built on our memoirs. That's why it is necessary to remember bad things, but you also need to get rid of the torment that brings unpleasant memories. But how to make them not so painful and turn into a neutral event, on which we would not get involved for a long time?
Two memory
Each person has two memories. One memory is autobiographical, and the other is memory-knowledge. Memory-knowledge stores information that does not cause us any emotions. For example, twice two equals four, the capital of Ukraine is Kiev, and the Volga flows into the Caspian Sea. In autobiographical memory, on the contrary, all those events that are associated with our self-evaluation, experiences, and so on are laid. Therefore, forget about the unpleasant situation nepoluchitsya, but you can shift your memories from one memory to another and try to make them neutral.
We are all mistaken. But the next time you will remember the negative past experience and do not allow a repetition of this situation. By the same token, you will be ready morally and emotionally for such, and therefore, get less stress in case of repeated failure.
To forget, often remember
- Bring back unpleasant moments in your head. Then on the fifth, tenth or twentieth repetition, your emotions will be replaced by emptiness. Painful perception will leave, and as a result there will be only a fact: "Well, yes, it happened ...".
- If you have a rich imagination, and you have a good knowledge of the subject, then imagine events that you want to forget or throw out of memory in a vivid image. If you mentally look at them for a long time, they will begin to turn pale and cease to seem so tactile.
- Rethink unpleasant situations. This is best done with a pencil and a piece of paper. When rethinking the situation, we subconsciously understand that we could not always change it for the better, by acting differently. Perhaps, it is because of what you did once that happened exactly what should be today. You must realize over time that the event is no longer corrected. If this is understood and accepted, then a fatal mistake will turn into a neutral fact, and memories of it will stop you from tormenting.
Psychologists say that such a way of visualizing a possible reversal of events in a particular situation makes it possible to feel relief from time. In addition, it will save you from hidden stress and experience.
Unsent Letter
To quickly get rid of mental anguish, you can resort to the following psychological method. Write a letter. This will help reduce the emotional coloring of unpleasant memories. A letter can be dedicated to yourself or your offender. The main thing is to state everything that bothers you in the smallest details. You do not need to send it. The main thing is that during the writing our consciousness will allow us to rethink what happened. There are several rules that should be taken into account when writing a letter:
- Be sure to start your letter with thanks to the offender. Thank you for the experience you received and write what useful lesson you could learn from the current situation.
- Then you must acknowledge the fact of what happened: "Yes, it happened. I was offended, betrayed, abandoned and so on. " "Yes, I did wrong, I was scared, I left ...".
- Only after all the above done can you begin to write mastering emotions. Describe them in detail, everything that you feel, everything that is tearing. You can blame yourself and regret in a letter: "I hate myself for ...", "I'm ready to tear you to pieces for ...". This all should form the main part of your writing.
- The last part of the letter should consist of where you will describe how your life has changed. Do not forget to write about how to change it even after a certain period of time: a month, a year, two ...
If you can imagine in detail how to change your life in a couple of years, then you have coped with the task. You, therefore, will defeat all unpleasant memories.
Games with Reason
Sometimes experiences are too strong, and people are simply unable to cope with them on their own. In this case, a psychologist will help to comprehend, rework and survive all this. Today, there is a variety of methods of working with people who have experienced trauma. This can be arthropathy, bodily oriented therapy, game therapy (common among children), a method of processing traumatic experiences through the movement of the eyes of the American psychologist D. Shapiro.
Remember that people who have experienced trauma can not be introduced into trance and forced to relax using relaxation techniques. This can aggravate the situation. It should be borne in mind that for each person you need to look for your own approach and method of treatment. What for some can be a simple trouble, then for others it can be a real serious injury.
There are situations when it seems to us that we are able to recover. There are also some when we simply can not help ourselves. But how can we understand that we need specialist help? It's simple:
- If you tell other people about your problems, but it does not make it easier for you, but only worse, then contact a psychologist. If your emotions overwhelm you more, then you regret discovering others.
- If you all around reminds of an unpleasant situation. Never at such times, do not isolate yourself from the community and do not close in yourself. As bad as it is, go out into the street, communicate with people, go to the theaters IKINO. So you will quickly recover.
- If you will exhaust yourself all the time with moral nervous tension, then over time it will affect the entire body. You will begin to feel a weakness in the body, muscles, you may have pain in the lower back or back. Insomniac, irritability, tension develops in a chronically depressive state. Such a condition is not recommended to be treated medically. In fact, tablets will not help you forget what is happening, they will only help you to relax for a while. Therefore, if such symptoms appear, the doctor should immediately go.
And finally
In life, there is a lot of trouble. And we can not change this. All that we can do is just learn to perceive certain things and accept the idea that you will not return. You can not torment yourself with bad luck, it will not only affect the nervous system, but also your health. The stresses are the cause of many serious diseases: the cardiovascular system, the thyroid gland, pancreatic and even oncology. Fortunately, today one can resort to the help of psychologists and medications . This will help us to cope with any, even the most difficult situation. Take care of yourself, little girls, and always remain beautiful and healthy.