Unfortunately or for joy, not all marriages take place in heaven. If you believe statistics, only 10 out of 100 marriages are for a large and bright love. Modern youth even joke about this: "Marriage is not a lottery. In the lottery, you have a chance "... Marriage generally becomes an endangered kind of relationship. More than half of couples prefer so-called free relations - civil marriage.
And yet men marry. So what motivates them, what makes them consciously go to such sacrifices ??? Let's try to figure it out; why men, like some, marry others.
Reason 1. Marry a beautiful, intelligent and rich ...
Remember the aphorism: "If you want to marry smart, beautiful and rich - you will have to marry three times."
Indeed, having taken up the choice of the future wife, the man initially determines for himself a number of criteria, to which she must correspond as a wife, as a mother. Often it turns out that the one to which he favors tender feelings, does not know how to bake pies on my mother's recipe, does not wipe the dust every day and is not thrilled with children's crying, that is. does not correspond to the image of an ideal wife. The only way out is to marry Masha Ivanova, so that she cakes pies and cares for her mother's geranium, and you can love anyone. Faced with this kind of situation, I always remember the words of my friend's mother. Once, before the wedding, a friend confided to her that she did not like her future husband. "Nothing," - answered my mother, - "I also love Invar Kalninysh, but I live with your dad ... and nothing ...". Yes, and so it also happens.
Reason 2. In search of the ideal.
Very often men, and women, too, especially brought up on romantic traditions or books, are looking for their ideal. And although the ideal, as science has proved, does not exist in principle, it does not stop anyone. Some people do not find it, they remain beans and old maidens and hate this "imperfect world", others find it, but they are often awaited by equally strong disappointment - if you find an ideal, this does not mean that the "ideal" rushes to the man's neck with the words "how long have I waited for you". The ideal can be married and happy, and if it is free, it is also "in search", and it looks completely different and does not notice it at close range. The clash with such inconsistencies often forces men to act desperately. For example, to marry an unloved woman. In this case, I very much want to give advice to the desperate martyrs: "It's stupid to choose a bride! The main thing is to choose your mother-in-law! "
Cause 3. The second time on the calculation ...
I think that many readers are familiar with the phrase: "First time they marry for love, second according to calculation, third according to habit". I'm much more interested in the 2nd time.
In our financially unstable time, when gasoline prices are rising, and America is carefully selected for the East, men need confidence in the future. Speaking of marriage by calculation, I do not mean only the financial side. Take the above. The calculation goes to power, career growth, position in society, fame and others, attached to his wife's privileges. When it comes to all of the above, a rare man is able to resist the temptation, even if his future or held wife is an old terrible marasmat with an inserted jaw and detachable legs.
Reason 4. Married live longer ...
One of my friends was very fond of saying: "It's not true that married people live longer. It only seems to them, "- until he married himself.
And there is nothing unnatural in that a normal average man dreams of having a family, wants to nail nails in the hallway with his son and eat homemade ravioli on Sundays. In reality, this quiet happiness for many only dreams, because in our youth we chase ghosts, in adulthood we carefully look around to avoid mistakes and as a result we do not dare at all, and when everything around us has already started "nesting" we start to adjust ourselves, plus relatives and friends "help" ... The result - in the lexicon there is an unpleasant word "NADO" from the long-forgotten pioneer childhood, which often flows into a wedding with the first single woman who has fallen in love, and love does not even smell. Even children today know that to create a full-fledged cell of society one "NADO" is catastrophically small. We need something much more ...
5. Marriage is a solid marriage? And other reasons.
The reasons for marriage are not for love a lot. This is the unexpected pregnancy of a friend who was about to part with, and the desire to change the rhythm of life (when everything is tired of trying something else), and the desire to be loved without loving oneself and the fear of loneliness, old age, helplessness and much more. Such marriages are obviously doomed to failure. Not in the sense of divorce, but in the sense of having feelings, understanding, mutual respect and support. It turns out that such a marriage is a solid marriage, with the exception of the result (children).
There are many reasons - many consequences. It is sad to realize that today's reality dictates its rules to us, and men increasingly agree to play on them in life, denying themselves the most important thing - in love.