We all want to do "as best" for our children, but we do not always know how. You will not believe, but even the smallest changes can be of great importance for family life. Changes that are quite accessible to you. A sort of "magic" rules for parents. Not even, more precisely, 15 rules of the most caring parents. Learn them, follow them, and this, believe me, will necessarily give positive results.
1. Be with children "now".
Even if it seems to you that it is more important than ironing or washing at the moment nothing can not be - forget about all this for a couple of minutes. Your child needs you now. It is very serious. Believe me, if your children ask for attention, then they need it at the exact time they ask for it. Children live in the present. This is scientifically proven. No persuasion, like "I'm now washing, and then ..." will not make the child sit quietly and wait for you. They will suffer. Live them in peace, if you want to achieve mutual understanding. And washing dishes and an ironing board can wait.
2. Do not set many rules.
If you have too many rules in the family, then you will always be in the "war zone". The basic rules, of course, should be. For example, always tell the truth, be kind to other people, always report your whereabouts, do not talk to strangers. These rules will help children in life, but not too restrict their freedom. If too many rules, then the child has a constant feeling of tension and anxiety - suddenly I will do something wrong, suddenly I can not manage, I will forget, I will not be able to. So our reasonable parental strictness turns into bondage and "obligatory", alienating our children from us.
3. Make the children laugh.
Tickle them before bed, talk in silly funny voices or make faces - this really makes your children happy. And you, too. It has long been proven that laughter is the best therapy, the best relaxation and the best medicine for depression, fatigue, boredom and irritation. And these simple and "childish" ways will return you for a minute in childhood. It will bring you closer to the children. Believe me, this is tested in practice.
4. Do not do several things at the same time.
You will not believe it, but it's possible. Do not try to help children with their homework during a telephone conversation and making tea. All this will end with a covered tablecloth and a bunch of errors in the notebook. Children react poorly to pressure, but even worse - to indifference and inattention to themselves. Give them a few minutes. Only them. Help to understand the task, fix the material, make sure that it is understood correctly. Results will not keep you waiting. Children will trust you more, take a more responsible attitude toward learning (it is difficult to "shirk" from studying under the supervision of parents).
5. Teach the children to say "thank you".
Unfortunately, gratitude in the family is gradually becoming an "enduring" habit. But it is necessary - to say "thank you" when leaving from the table, receiving gifts from friends and family , even just in everyday life. A sense of gratitude gives rise to respect for parents, friends, people around. Moreover, one can speak out not only aloud, but also in writing. Give the children a piece of paper and a pen, and let them write to whom and for what they want to say "thank you." Believe me, this is a very useful exercise, which in the future will greatly facilitate your relationship with older siblings. By the way, if your children are no longer small - let them thank you via e-mail, if it's easier for them.
6. Do not argue with children.
In children, the dispute most often is either a way of attracting excessive attention or simply a desire to "let off steam." Especially it concerns the boys. Do not waste your time and nerves on useless arguments. Better turn their attention to something interesting. However, if the child has started loudly and furiously to argue, for example, in the store - just stop it immediately. It will not be superfluous and a little censure. But do not focus on this for too long. Switch. For example, like this: "And who will help me roll a cart?"
7. Do not expect too much from children.
If you set their "bar of achievement" too high - you are often disappointed. And most importantly, it will be a serious humiliation for the child. Believe me, this can have long-term consequences for your child's trust. Praise children for any achievements, even not very significant. Say that you believe in them, be proud of them. They, in turn, will try "not to fall into the mud with their faces". And they will be grateful to you for the tolerance of their mistakes. It is very close and strengthens mutual trust.
8. Let them have something to remember.
It's very sad if your child's life goes unnoticed, fast and uninteresting. Only yesterday, it seems, he learned to walk, but suddenly he grew up and left the house. But it's so easy and natural to have fun with your children! Replace the TV with a walk in the park. Ride together on skis, go to the pool. Get a dog and wear it around the yard, lie on the grass, play "a bunch of malo." You can ask your children for expensive toys, but nothing will replace them with you. Especially in early childhood. And joint hobbies, games and hobbies will consolidate your relationship for the rest of your life. You will not regret it, and you will be together, what to remember in many, many years.
9. Let them get dirty.
Children are children. Do not forget about it. They often come from a walk with dirty, dirty, but terribly happy? So do not spoil their mood! Children do not set the task of deliberately spoiling clothes or making you wash from morning to night. They are just busy playing and enjoying it. Teach them to clean their clothes after walking, neatly fold it, but do not scold, do not blame anything, do not shout. In the end, remember yourself in early childhood. Sometimes it helps.
10. Make yourself a "vacation".
Sometimes you can leave children with people you trust for a while. This will make them more self-reliant and help you to put yourself and your nerves in order. The truth is that children should treat these people well, so that it is not a "conclusion" or torture for them. By the way, sometimes, if you are extremely attached to children, this can be a torture for yourself. But believe me, this is necessary for their development and maturation. Relax. You can always find a way to relax.
11. Do not be exhausted.
If you have a day off, let it be taken into account. Children also need to understand that you are tired and want to relax. Let the washing and washing dishes temporarily go to the background. Go to the children for a picnic, go on a visit, go fishing. Do not make yourself a servant! So you will not achieve respect, children will treat you dependent. Be on equal terms with them. The weekend is a rest time for the whole family.
12. Explain to the children how much you earn.
It is very important. Believe me, even small children are able to understand what "no" and "impossible" are. Choose words so that they understand that money does not fall from the sky. They need to earn. This requires skill, patience and time. Children need to know how you have to try so that they can get an expensive toy or fashionable clothes. But do not overdo it with explanations, so as not to cause feelings of guilt in children! They should not think that they cause you inconvenience only by their existence.
13. Do not cry.
Sometimes I just want to get up in the middle of the room and yell. But believe me, this will not work. But what can really draw your attention to children is a whisper! Recent studies have shown: the effectiveness of this method is 100%! For children this is unexpected, they will be so amazed that they will just listen. Try it and you will be surprised yourself.
14. Look in the eyes of your children.
When you ask them to do something, explain or just communicate - look them in the eyes. If the child is small, go down to the level of his eyes. Believe me, this is much more effective than screaming up the stairs or in the back of anything.
15. Do not complain.
Do not constantly repeat to children how difficult it is for them, how tired you are and how tired you are of all this. It offends and frightens children. This instills a sense of guilt and gives birth to a bunch of complexes. The child is not initially to blame for the fact that you have it! You went to this step and should carry this, if you want, cross. In your power to make your parental responsibilities more pleasant. And to blame the child for being a child is wrong and stupid.
We all want to be good parents. In the soul, each of us aspires to this. And in fact it's easy, if you think about your actions and thoughts a little. Follow these 15 rules of the most caring parents. Just enjoy your parental happiness! Love your children! Despite everything. And you can be sure that you will never be left alone, with you will always be your main wealth - your family.