Indeed, at the age of five and seven, they are separated from their mothers by switching to the "male subculture", in addition, immediately after the divorce they have neither severe depression nor obsessive states, they do not remember a happy family life, feel no guilt and are not afraid future. According to statistics of psychologists, 65% of men get married within five years after the divorce, but consider the first marriage to be the best, 15% get married between five and ten years, and 20% find a permanent couple or create a new family only after 20 years or more, and sometimes remain alone.
However, in the past ten years, psychologists, psychotherapists and sexologists are paying closer attention to what men do after the divorce. The reason is that about 30% of men become their clients, while in half of cases they are led to them by former wives. Often divorced men are depressed and confused, abuse alcohol or overeat, they have less interest in work and sexual activity, premature ejaculation and other sexual disorders. The development of these syndromes arising one and a half years after the divorce (or "seventeenth month") is explained by disappointment. The fact that a man after a divorce represents that "on the outside" he will meet an ideal woman - beautiful, sexy, kind, caring and younger. However, the holiday is not feasible - often he encounters criticism, insufficient care and even sexual infidelity of girlfriends. As a result, he soberly assesses women, but this leads to depression.
In a new way, he evaluates the previous family life, recalling the most pleasant moments. At this time, most men want to return to the family, but the harsh laws of the male community prevent it. During this period, they understand that it is not everyone who is given alone to live alone. Many of them are overwhelmed with a lot of destructive impulses, which are helped in family life by wives: the desire to drink or eat over and above, to have more fun and have sex. At the "will" no one hinders this, but responsibility for the family gives way to responsibility for oneself. No one supports him in a difficult moment, advises him nothing and does not prompt him. And during frequent sexual relations with partners or acquaintances much more psychological and physiological energy is spent. After all, unlike his wife, to the body of which the man has already adjusted, a new partner requires long caresses, a longer and more energetic sex.
And to adjust to it, you need at least five to seven meetings with at least a little emotional attachment, you need to continue to communicate with her, sometimes take him home, carefully monitor her condition. Therefore, psychotherapists who found out what a man does after the divorce, advise former wives not to despair, and not to consider that the husband's decision is definitive and irrevocable. Of course, do not make scandals, run after him and beg to return. It is much better to maintain the former friendly relations by keeping the door open until the man ripens to continue the relationship. According to statistics in large Russian cities, every third man would like to return to his former wife, and every fourth man returns to her. The lover of a divorced man also needs to be patient and not surprised that he, although he feels good with her, is limited to two or three meetings a week, without hurrying to start a family.
It should be remembered that he left his wife not in order to build a joint life with another. He needs freedom, including in sex, so do not rush him, so as not to break the relationship. In general, a woman should not be mistaken in that a man after five or seven or ten years of successful marriage thinks only of a suitable new wife. On the contrary, after the divorce, he will be able to adapt to the "long bachelor life". Therefore, women should not spend their entire lives waiting, pushing away from themselves other potential suitors.
A divorced man usually meets one or two or two years with several women. But to a woman whom he cares about, one must take it for granted and accept. Psychotherapists call the two opposite positions occupied by women in dealing with men after a divorce: on the one hand - hyperopeak and household and gastronomic service, bordering on ingratiating; on the other - indifference and the postponement of excessive care to a more serious relationship. Both options are useless. Just a woman who wants to like, you need to show yourself to the best in everyday life, and in sex, but do not overdo it.