Workaholism - a disease or mental state?

It would seem that it is bad if a person works hard, devoting himself entirely to the business that he is busy with? Unfortunately, workaholism - a disease or mental state, is as dangerous as alcoholism or any other kind of addiction.

"When you sit down to work," a person becomes obsessed, destroying himself, his health and personal relationships. A huge world with all its diversity is narrowed to a small range of production tasks, on which all attention is focused. What worried so far: family, relatives, friends - is already seen not as important as the case. Work is gradually becoming a way of life. It seems to man that he is moving forward, but in fact he is moving in a circle. It is good, if the workaholic manages to make a career and compensate the spent efforts with a high salary. But the family in any case suffers because of workaholism - a disease or mental state: emotional contact is lost, the spouses gradually move away from each other, the children grow up without father's attention and participation in their lives.


What is the reason?

The reason is always psychological and, most likely, its roots in childhood. A workaholic can attribute such roles: a way to increase self-esteem (if a person has lost confidence in himself):

the meaning of life (if one does not want to strain in the search for other meanings);

the ability to overcome fear (for example, fear of failing in relationships);

a way to have fun, feel the emotional lift, and a surge of adrenaline. For all options, it is common to avoid personal problems, everyday worries, clarifying relationships, that is, from psychological stress.


What to do?

The problem of workaholism - a disease or mental state is that a workaholic, as a rule, is quite happy with such a life, considers himself healthy and does not intend to change anything. Conventional conversations on this topic rarely affect the situation. Of course, it is better to turn to a specialist, but you can fight yourself.

As an experiment with workaholism, ask the husband to draw a diamond, the tops of which will denote 4 spheres of life for an adult person: body (health), work, family, contacts (communication). How is its real time distributed among these components? This will make it possible to clearly see that there is an obvious bias (only 100%, the average figure for each sphere is 25%).

What price does your husband pay for excessive diligence? Suffering from health? A family? The task is to restore balance in all spheres of life.

Ability to relax with workaholism - the same skill as the ability to drive a car. This can be learned by going through the same steps as when forming any other skill.

Remember: it is important to observe regularity, so that rest becomes a habit.

For a loving woman to talk with a sweet - it's not just a pleasure, but a need. Stopping the dialogue, or severely restricting communication, the man brings upon himself a lot of troubles: the lady's desire to talk will not return to him, only in a distorted form. But how to understand the man's silent message?


Silent as a fish

One of the possible reasons for silence is unwillingness to be criticized. Any information can be used as a weapon. Stories from childhood, relationships at work, events in the family of parents - all these facts in skilled women's hands turn into "hairpins" for the husband. The feeling of danger and workaholism - a disease or mental state complete with insult and makes him silent: there is no information - there is no way to pander.

He not only keeps silent himself, but does not want to listen to a woman (for example, walking away or putting on headphones). It's a defensive reaction, its way to say no. Perhaps he perceives the situation as a violation of personal space , psychological boundaries.

Give the man the opportunity to feel more at ease.

Sometimes the silence of a man with workaholism is a manipulative device - a way to punish, show offense: for example, if he is silent with you, but at the same time communicates well with everyone else. Forcing a woman to persuade himself, he self-affirms, increases his own importance. Do not persuade. Or wait until he speaks, or seriously and calmly discuss the situation - as adults. Is there a topic that requires a decision, in the discussion of which he pauses and goes into a dumb defensive?

If it's important for you to hear the answer, do your best to get it. The way depends on your imagination and possibilities. Decide whether to insist. If you are persevering, you must be inwardly ready to hear any answer - both positive and negative.