According to the technology of achieving success, in order to achieve something, you need to in detail imagine that you have already achieved your female ideal - a man of dreams.
So, what is he, a female ideal - a man of dreams? Slender, athletic, stylish ...
From the side of the observer
We say that the female ideal - the man of dreams is beautiful, if we sense from him a glow from the inside and experience a special pleasant feeling while this motivates the desire to be near and bask in the rays of this beauty, to enjoy. Consequently, beauty satisfies a certain need of man, saturates one hundred, satisfies some of his psychological hunger. Each person has his own complex relationship with the notion of "beauty". What he puts into these concepts - he himself is not fully aware.
From the object side
While we considered the female ideal - a man of dreams and beauty from the one who watches. And if you look from the one who causes the feeling? It turns out that the same person can feel beautiful and ugly, depending on the emotional state, clothes, the attitude of important people to him, etc. A handsome man, as a rule, is a contented person, satisfied with himself. Looking at him wants to be the same, wants to become infected with his condition, wants to keep nearby such a source of good attitude toward himself. After all, if I have beauty and this beauty with me, then I am involved in this wealth - beauty, partly becoming part of it.
So I would eat it!
In general, the idea of merging with what attracts, is true for sex. There is an opinion that those people who want to borrow something, which like to be like (almost like "eat the enemy's liver to have its strength") cause sexual feelings. From the point of view of psychoanalysis, the processes of sex and eating / absorption have a common psychological foundation.
Where is my button?
Ah, if we were so arranged that a beautiful table would evoke appetite, and bed - desires! Many beauties can not get the coveted man for a simple reason - they do not like them! If the husband is beautiful externally, but does not feel the mood of his wife, does not sympathize with her, does not regret her, does not understand her interests, does not listen to stories about her life, considers her work as an empty matter and does not see a woman in her, there will not be a normal woman experiencing sexual attraction to such a man! If she is not a masochist.
Many see salvation in the techniques of erotic massage. Bodily excitement comes from a new stimulus, but after such a massage and experienced pleasure, an unpleasant sediment can remain, because man is a complex being and striving for wholeness. If there is no simultaneous experience of passion and tenderness, the brightest sexual experience will be an episode. "Unearthly bliss" is possible only if all the requests are satisfied: bodily, emotional and - yes-yes! - value / moral.
Sexuality = beauty?
Sexual arousal is a thing that is so complex and individual that it is hardly possible to talk about any norms. Many women, for example, are excited if the partner is like their father, not the superhero from the cover of the magazine. Most ladies will prefer not a perfect man, but someone who feels in her personality and is not excited by the beauty of her body, but from her as an inimitable personality, which he chose. If the union of people is kept "in beauty", then it is very fragile: the spouses are doomed to eternal alarm about the fact that they can be "rejected", replaced by a more beautiful one.
What does it mean?
I want to have somebody happy with myself, radiating pleasure from myself, infecting me with this feeling. Female ideal - a man of dreams - narcissistic narcissus, "crazy about yourself," radiates not so much healthy contentment as pompous narcissism.
Inaction - the man himself oversees the excess.
It is important that my man is appreciated by my environment, so that he not so much fed me with his beauty, how many of those on whose assessments my condition depends.
A woman can suddenly realize that he and she are not the same, and that his success is not the same as her success.
Redesigning a man for the sake of a "model of beauty", you risk ruining the relationship: let him feel that you do not love him and for you, the assessments of others are more important. Psychologists call these women narcissistic: the soul does not function, the orientation - on the outside and the assessments of others, personal relationships, love - are closed.
I want a man who is engaged in the gym, has a good figure and hair, pumped muscles, takes care of clothes, constantly thinks about his appearance.
A man is too strict towards himself, he exposes himself to inflated demands and worries that he does not fulfill these requirements, therefore he radiates not so much contentment as irritation.
Inaction in terms of its appearance and delicate actions in terms of normalizing its internal state - perhaps you need the help of a psychologist so that your man will gain confidence in himself and feel that he is valuable and recognize what it is.
My man believes that he is what he is, and that he must be loved for the soul and mind, but the external does not matter.
A man makes a woman a victim of his "bad relationship" with the material side of life, he does not like his body, does not want to take care of him, he despises external attraction - that is, he has obvious psychological problems. Stinky and untidy genius, too, may like, but women with certain psychological problems.
Inactivity - a man will never look after himself for anything - this is his position, he conducts a psychological "war with matter" (as a rule, such a man is also a beggar).
My beloved has a small tummy, can afford a slightly crumpled jacket. Once a week he goes to the gym, watches his clothes. These things are important to him, but are not a cult. He is pleased with his appearance, but realizes that in his years he already needs to monitor himself.
This is an adequate man , he listens to the opinion of his woman, but does not go on about her. Be careful if you want to change something in it. If your relationship is normal and healthy, you will be slightly shaken from the phrase "change something in it." If this phrase does not hurt you, perhaps you are hoping to lead your man and sculpt something out of him on your own. Such a tendency in relations to good does not bring: if you achieve your goal, you will get a "son" or "slave", not a man.