Is this honest?
Parents require the child to always speak only the truth. And themselves, succumbing to the game, in fact, deceive him. But this lie is for good: if an adult and a child play on an equal footing, the kid will never learn to win (after all, the skills and abilities of an adult can not be compared with the abilities of a child), and therefore, will not gain invaluable experience of victory and will not receive an "inoculation ".
What do competitions give?
- Compromise. In fact, adults do not like to play either in dolls or in a designer. Too simple tasks, boring. But it's necessary to play with the child! Here, and come to the aid of game-competition with their unpredictability and excitement.
- Accustoming. Sometimes, only in a child's competition can you be forced to do anything. For example, to remove toys to race or wash their hands before dinner: who is faster?
- Problem solving. The kid is not able to sit at the table for a second or, on the contrary, is too inactive? Come up with a game-competition that will be interesting to the crumb and at the same time help to overcome the shortcomings.
Rules of give-away
- Surrender only at the beginning. During the training period, an inconspicuous parental assignment will show the child that he is in principle able to cope with the task. But when the child has mastered the necessary skills, with give-away you need to finish - the weight should be honest.
- Be natural. The victory should not be too easy and obvious, then it depreciates. If the kid realized that they play along with him, he may take offense - and even more lose faith in his own abilities.
- Demand the maximum. Strive to ensure that in the game of crumbs made every effort - only this win will educate the sense of purpose and will to win. The kid, accustomed to give all the best, will easily fail, knowing that he has done everything he could.
- Choose the moment. Surrender is not necessary immediately, but closer to the end of the game, and do it as if by accident. "Make a mistake," let the child take advantage of the chance to win.
Calm, only calm
Often a very violent experience of losing speaks of a deep secret fear: "If I'm not the best, no one will love me." Be sure to let the child know that your love for him is unconditional and losing does not make it worse. When the kid cope with negative emotions, be sure to notice this and encourage. Do not confess. A kid should not even suspect a deception on your part.
Not giveaway, but benefits
- Smile of fortune. There are games, the victory in which depends only on luck - and this must be emphasized. The kid must learn that not all wins are the fruit of his efforts. If the players are many and all of them about the same age, make sure that each of the small participants can feel like a champion. Or a member of a friendly team that contributes to the victory.
- Adult plus child. Playing the team game with the whole family, never unite according to the principle of "parents against children". Let father's partner become a daughter, and my mother's partner - a son.
- Rules. If players are of different ages, you need to equalize their opportunities. For example, temporarily introduce new rules, giving indulgence to the kids. It is important that older children understand why the crumbs are given a handicap, and approved it. Try not to play games in which the loser has to drop out of the game. He feels not only frustrated because of the loss, but also thrown out of the general holiday.
- Do not forget about the prizes. But do not make a cult out of them. Prize can be a praise, not just a chocolate.
Play with peers
Give-away will end when the kid starts playing with peers, without the participation of mom and dad. And such games are very useful. Peers will not yield to victory without a fight. And because, by winning, the child now knows for sure - this time he is really the best. Loss in the company of peers is also honest, and adults at all desire can not give such an experience to their baby. But the one who violates the rules, does not count with other people's desires and does not know how to adequately lose, children simply will not accept the game. So, the ability to lose, too, you need to teach.
He does not know how to lose
• Stay close. And if you see that the kid starts to get nervous, throw chips or details, as soon as something goes wrong, - help him. It is best to distract the child, fix the problem for this time, and then encourage him to finish what he started and praise as if it were only his achievement. In this case, the spirit of competition will continue, and the desire to achieve more will increase.
• Do not comfort. To regret and comfort the "poor and unfortunate" is not worth it: the child is important to understand that the loser is not a victim.
• Not the result, but the process. Discuss the game, emphasizing not winning or losing, but how fun you spent time.