Often children need a parent's advice, but they can not get it because of the employment of adults. Later they may begin to fear punishment or ridicule. Read more about this "inconspicuous" but very serious problem of modern society below.
The essence of child loneliness
Children from the orphanage left in infancy never cry and do not cry. This is because no one reacts to their crying and crying, and they are not used to giving a signal about their physical or emotional discomfort. Such a child from the first days of life gets used to his loneliness, and even if he later gets into the family, it will not be easy to cope with this. Such a child is not needed by and large - he does not feel a special need for someone else's love, since he never received it. He himself does not know how, does not want and is afraid to love and become attached to someone.
If the child grows up in the family, at first he does not feel a constant loneliness, as the mother reacts to his crying, feeds him, lulls him to calm him. But the small person gradually develops, and the kid starts to pay attention more often, that parents all time are not up to him, that from him too often they are dismissed. At first it just puzzles the child, then he tries to attract parental attention with boasting or obedience, then, if there is no effect, bad behavior.
If we talk about pre-transition age, children tend to experience a sense of loneliness, lack of attention and affection, especially acute at the age of 5-6 years (after school, school, new friends, and this will somewhat remove the acuteness of this problem). The older this child becomes, the less he begins to trust his relatives, as he realizes that if they do not love you or love you enough, they will hardly give you advice that will go for good. These are the main reasons for the loneliness of children of this age. However, there is also a positive side to this process, and it consists in the fact that the child early becomes independent and independent, seeks to solve his problems himself (although independence can be found in another way - when the child is proud of parental trust). Independence with low self-esteem can cause the most unfortunate consequences of loneliness - drug addiction and alcoholism. As soon as someone shows attention to a single child, he can easily fall under someone else's influence (well, if positive) and even become a victim of a corruptible.
We all need each other
The need to have peers for communication is formed by 4-5 years of age. Many adults are skeptical about childish friendship: they say that this is not serious. And indeed, until about 9 years old children tend to be with peers out of a desire to play together, have fun. But in adolescence, there is a desire to assert their identity, to feel their authority. At 12 and older, a friend who knows how to listen, understand, advise, becomes a kind of psychotherapist. It equals friends that is important and necessary when growing up. Invented or seen in the movie the ideal of an adult is too unattainable, real adults are too incomprehensible and busy, besides there is a distance in communication and often problems of mutual trust, and friends and their successes - here they are. As a result, the opinion of peers acquires an immeasurably greater value for teens than for yesterday's child. It means much more than the opinion of even the closest and most authoritative people for teenage parents.
Why do teen friends?
Ability to come to the rescue (first of all), sense of humor, knowledge and versatility of interests, mind, sporting achievements, adulthood and attractiveness of appearance, independence, courage. If a friend shows inattention, a teenager can rush to find a new close soul in order to sweep away his child's loneliness. In this case, a complete breakdown of relations with the former "best" friend or gradual separation is possible. The higher the self-esteem of a teenager, the sooner he will cease to put up with the indifference and shortcomings of yesterday's "bosom" friends (as a rule, the adolescent himself does not realize his adolescence). But a child with complexes can tolerate even frank mockeries of "friends" for fear of remaining alone.
Usually, the guys come together with common interests and outlooks on life, but teenagers who are very different in character can also be friends. At the same time, they can seek in each other those qualities (sociability or poise and judgment) that they themselves lack to develop them. The child's lack of friends can talk about serious emotional problems. Most likely, the reasons for loneliness are not that he rejects the proposed circle of communication, but that the guys for one reason or another reject the adolescent. Most often they do not want to be friends and communicate with insecure, self-contained, painful or hysterical children. And also too aggressive, arrogant or indifferent to the affairs of the group. Such a teenager, after all being in social isolation, feels even more insecure and deprived of support, especially as teenagers can show aggression and even cruelty to an "outcast" who is not part of their company different from them. This can affect the self-esteem of the teenager, his character and life in the future, because the development of communication skills and the ability to get along with people, and different, plus the ability to defend one's opinion is necessary for everyone who lives among people.