Kids are great. But sometimes they want to escape to the end of the world. Sometimes it seems that they deliberately drive you crazy. And the words before them just do not reach. Then you resort to the only correct, in your opinion, way of influencing - screaming. It is so? But this also does not work. In addition, it engenders aggression, frightens, contributes to the development of children's fears and complexes. Yes, and your nerves undermine the final. So how to learn not to scream at children? You will not believe, but there are some very simple ways available to every parent. This will greatly facilitate your life.
1. Whisper it.
You will be surprised, but it works without fail! If you whisper something, then the children should be quiet to hear. When they ask again what you said, repeat it in a more loud whisper, but nothing else. Gradually, this will lead to a decrease in their own voice. The house will become much quieter.
2. Take a timeout.
If your children start screaming and arguing, just warn them that you are not going to raise your voice. Tell them that you are going, for example, to the kitchen, and they can come and find you there when they are ready to speak quietly and calmly.
3. Speak in the "right" tone.
Specialists in the field of communication and language advise: "Do not forget to lower your tone at the end of the sentence, otherwise it will sound like a question, not a request, and the children will not obey." In this case, it means that children, they will automatically take the phrase said in the "right" affirmative tone as a command, they will listen to you sooner than if you "mumble" or incessantly scream.
4. Choose the words.
Tell them clearly what you want from them, not what you do not want them to do. It is very important. Speak so that the children understand what they want from them. Do not rash in words, simply and clearly say what you want. If they ignore you, tell them this again three times. Studies show that 40 percent of the population should hear things in triplicate before they take them seriously!
There is a system of "three floors", which helps in such situations:
1. Understand what your children want.
2. Explain what you want.
3. Explain why.
If, for example, they jump from the Swedish wall, say that you know, it looks great, but they can injure themselves and you want them to stop.
5. Replace the cry with song and dance.
It may sound crazy, but it works! If you want to shout - sing! It can relieve your inner self, and even make children laugh. The conflict will disappear by itself. Or just count to 10 to defuse your temperament.
6. Look in the mirror.
Another of the unusual, but effective tricks. When you start screaming, look at your face. Not very nice, is it? Your face in a natural state is much softer and kinder. So is it worth making a monster out of yourself?
7. Do not shout - write.
If you want to say something important, but you can not say it calmly, try writing it down in a short note and giving it to her. In addition, you can send an SMS or email. They will receive information without your angry tone. They will take it necessarily, besides they will be pleasantly surprised. True, this method is applicable only to older children.
8. Close your eyes.
Just do it when you talk with the children. It is not exactly known why this works, but it really calms and brings thoughts into order. You do not want to scream at all.
These are the basic rules by which you will save yourself from suffering. And your children too. Now every parent will be much happier, as he will learn not to scream at children. Finally, you can just enjoy life next to your children, and not turn it into a battlefield. Happiness and tranquility to you!