Such a surge of negative behavior continues for several months after the divorce. Usually not less than two months, but not more than a year. However, the consequences of parents' divorce are postponed in the behavior of children who have experienced a divorce of their parents for life.
Small children often blame themselves for the divorce of their parents. An older child usually takes the side of one of the parents, often with whom he remained after the divorce, and accuses the other of treason. Relations with the other parent can also worsen, the child experiences the consequences of a psychological trauma and can not control his emotions the way adults do. There is a deterioration in school performance, a child may become withdrawn, there is a risk that he may fall into a bad company. All these features in behavior appear because only in this way a child can demonstrate a protest against the situation. At the same time, he realizes that he can not change it, so he tries to compensate for negative emotions accumulating in him.
Conflicts with parents after the divorce are manifested in the fact that the child begins to be rude, refuses to comply with the rules of behavior established in the family. In order not to aggravate the situation, one should show understanding. Do not try to immediately punish the child, you need to talk with him. Most likely, the child will not try to immediately explain his behavior. This is normal. Children do not tend to analyze the motives of their actions. Therefore, the question "Why do you behave this way?" You most likely will not wait for an answer, or the content of the answer will not correspond to the actual state of affairs. You can try to unobtrusively bring the child to certain conclusions. If you can not independently adjust the situation, it is better to consult a psychologist. The psychologist can give advice on how to correct the situation in this case, because sometimes to solve the problem you need to change your behavior not only to the child, but also to the adult.
Most conflicts with parents after a divorce occur in children when the prerequisites for them were before him. The nature of psychological trauma is such that a quiet, seemingly obedient child, after suffering a trauma, begins to demonstrate aggressive behavior. Therefore, if there are conflicts with parents, this means that the parents have not paid attention to the child for quite some time. You can advise spending more time with the child, talking with him about their own problems, asking him for advice and support. In response, the child will necessarily open to you. Only it is worth doing everything sincerely, respecting the opinion of the child as a person. Otherwise, you only risk aggravating the situation. With the parents after the divorce the child may be suspicious, and he often has reasons for this.
When a child has a negative attitude towards the parent who left him, you can only have patience. Sometimes understanding only comes with the years when the child who has grown up by then will form his own life experience. As practice shows, this understanding comes almost always. But what if the parent does not want to wait so long, and is the child's normal attitude important now? In this case, you will most likely succeed. The main thing is that attempts to establish relations are consistent and do not entail conflicts with the ex-spouse.
At that time, while the child is assimilating in a new situation (as stated above, up to a year), it is not necessary to further injure him and try to make a new relationship. This applies to both former spouses. When the new partner is found by the parent who no longer lives with the child, do not report the child too quickly.
At conflicts in school, with peers, it is necessary to try to reduce aggression in behavior. You can come up with a new occupation or interest that will distract the child and help his emotional unloading. It is very suitable for active sports, hiking. Pay attention to the child's progress. Ask him what they asked him at home, what subjects and teachers he likes, and what they do not, and why. Such conversations not only help to identify conflicts at the stage of their origin, but also help to establish contact with the child.
Not all children after the divorce are experiencing a new situation. However, this does not mean that they are not traumatized by it. It often happens that children who have survived the divorce of their parents from idealistic views try to marry themselves as soon as possible. Such marriages are fragile and quickly decay. Parents tend to want their children to be happier in their family life than they are. And if so, you need to take care of the child's future happiness in advance and carry out a psychological correction of the arisen hidden and obvious conflicts.