A family
My sister suits me every day for scandals ...
With the older sister we were not close, but when grown up, she stopped communicating with me. I tried to make contact, but I ran into a wall of contempt. Now I'm separated from my husband, and we live together: father, I'm with my daughter and sister. She scandals every day. The kettle is not so worth it, the curtain is not so hanging ... It does not want to change the apartment, I do not have the opportunity to rent a room separately. How to be?
Psychologist's comment
The first thing to do is to question whether the sister is the only thing. Life shows that in a protracted conflict, both sides are always guilty. Unequivocally right and guilty does not happen. It is possible that in your behavior there is an element of involuntary provocation. Trying to look at yourself through the eyes of the sister will help to better understand the sources of her irritability and captiousness. It is also useful to distinguish between the main and secondary. Curiously hanging curtains and standing in a wrong place the teapot is difficult to attribute to things of principle. Here also there is an opportunity of the compromise. And for the "contempt" of the sister, most likely, lies its vulnerability and unsettledness.
When consulting a psychologist on family matters, it is important to understand that the doctor really wants to help you, and not deprive you of any amount of money for the service.
I can not get my affectionate colleague away
One employee to me constantly "glued". Talking, strives to touch, lets go of frivolous jokes, gets up when I drink coffee in the office kitchen. Gently and politely, it does not work, but I do not know how tough and rude I can ...
Responded to psychologist
Between the soft and hard, polite and rude there are many intermediate positions. It is not necessary to slide to extremes. It makes sense to diversify your behavioral repertoire. For example, silently stare at the interlocutor, if you sound too freestyle joke. No smiles, no comments - just look in the eyes. In most cases, the joker is lost, and then does not risk practicing wit. The phrase "I do not like to be touched by strangers" will discourage the colleague from drawing his hands where he should not. The only thing that can prevent the case is your unwillingness to "unstick" the boyfriend.
Education
My 8-year-old son studies well, goes in for sports, is friendly ... But for him every check (control, competition, competition) is stress. He is nervous, worried, trying to slip away. Do not tolerate team games, do not know how to lose - seriously upset. How can I help him?
Psychologist's comment
By themselves, test works, competitions or contests are not the cause of psychological stress. Children have not yet formed a stable level of claims and far-reaching ambitious plans. They do not think about the future and live exclusively in the present. Traumatizing children is not a test, but the fear of not meeting parents expectations. And the point here is not in the threat of physical punishment, but in fear of being torn away, not accepted by those on whom they depend and who they need. To reduce feelings, take the child, regardless of its success in school, do not show grief at failures and do not pay much attention to the estimates.
Should I help my mom's mom around the house, tell me, psychologist?
We live with a guy each with his parents. I spend the weekend with him. His mother completely "serves" the family. And he says to me: "wash the dishes," "wipe the dust in Lesya's room." Do they fulfill these requirements? I do not want to teach a guy to think that all the homework is done by a woman ...
You do not have to take care of Lesha. The order adopted in the family of your friend is not the only possible one, but only one of the variants of the way of life. Take it as a basis or develop a completely new one - you still have to decide. In addition, the distribution of work for women and men is relatively arbitrary. In the meantime, with good conscience, you can shy away from the honorary duty to wipe the dust in the guy's room or wash his underpants. Washing dishes is a little more difficult. If parents feed you, drink every weekend, then you just need to contribute to the common cause. Therefore, you can wash the dishes, but together with Comrade Lesha.
For a qualitative consultation of a psychologist on family issues, a good psychology center should be found.