Your baby has grown up and wants to communicate with other children. The first outing is more often walks in the yard. A children's playground with swings, a sandbox and small inhabitants becomes a reduced model of a society that lives by the rules. It is here that children learn very important things: concede, help, negotiate, share, understand their feelings and others.
Almost at once mothers encounter aggressive behavior of young children. Some parents are frightened and do not know how to react. Other adults "disassembly" of children amuse. However, neither the first nor the second reaction is correct. This behavior of babies is understandable, but correction of aggressiveness of young children is required.
Little hooligans.
Many children under three years old try on the role of the aggressor. They bite, push, pinch, swear. They just do not understand what is causing the pain, and do not know how to feel someone else's pain as their own. Children can not cope with their emotions yet, they act impulsively: they took away the toy - it means that the offender must be struck, the alien machine became interested - it is easier to tear it out of hands than to ask.
For the aggressive behavior of young children it is useless to punish. They just do not understand what they got from adults. Correction of the aggressiveness of children is conducted ahead of schedule. It is not necessary to sit in the sandbox and control every movement of the child. It is enough to stay close to the time to intervene in the conflict. In any case, children will not cause serious injuries to each other. Teach your baby to ask permission before taking someone else's toy. Explain why it is necessary to wait for your turn, why it is necessary to treat the younger children with condescension. According to psychologists, the child must necessarily be taught to play with other children. After all, this is the same skill as holding a spoon on your own, tidying up toys for you, going to the potty. The position of non-interference leads to the fact that children develop a sense of permissiveness. Of course, the children themselves will understand, but clarifying the relationship can be cruel.
If the child is aggressive.
• Do not abuse the child in the presence of other children - to explain the child to his wrong, take the offender aside;
• find out the causes of the conflict;
• Show and explain to the child the consequences of the quarrel: "Look, the kid is hurt and hurt, he cries";
• Be sure to offer several options for resolving the conflict: return the toy, regret, ask for forgiveness;
• Explain how to do the right thing: ask the car, offer to play together, or swap toys.
Often parents teach children to give change. So, psychologists unequivocally agree that it is impossible to do this. In the end, not a neighbor's child will suffer, but a favorite child. And in the end - the parents themselves. Children who have learned to solve conflicts by aggressive behavior, having grown up, fill themselves with many "cones". Aggression generates reciprocal aggression, not love and respect. In young children, the notion of "giving change" is not yet associated with the notion of "standing up for oneself". Children do not understand in what situations this "change" should be given and with what force. At children there is a mess of concepts. They can begin to "give change" even to parents when they forbid something, or do not buy. Children go into the category of egoists, and in the neglected case - in the category of unmanageable. The best option is to confront the abusers, to teach the child diplomacy: to solve conflicts by word.
Small owners.
The main rule of the game with peers - all the toys become common for a while. Everyone should have the right to play with any toy. But to be able to share, the little child still needs to learn. At children in 2-3 years the feeling of the owner develops. The notion "mine" appears and they begin to assert their rights to property. Kids sometimes can not understand that toys are taken only for the duration of the game, and not forever. They are upset and even angry. Here the parents' work on correcting the aggressiveness of young children begins.
First of all, do not call the child greedy. After all, he is still learning to communicate in a team. Teach him to share. Make compliments: you are very kind, so you are sure to share the toy with the guys. Cry for sympathy: another child does not have such a beautiful toy, but he wants to hold it in his hands! More often than not, children agree to an exchange: you give to play your shovel, and you will be given a mold for sand. The main thing is that children should share with the hunt, and not under the onslaught of adults. Rejoice and praise the child when he decided to share his favorite toy. Your joy will be the best reward for the baby.
If the child does not want to part with the property, do not force him. Otherwise, the kid will receive a double psychological trauma from his beloved mother. First, he will have a feeling of indignation and the next time he will share the toy with him not soon. Secondly, he will think that the closest person took the side of the abuser and betrayed him. Always support your child! Of course, the kid must learn to share, but not to the detriment of his interests. The time will come, and he will learn the rules of the team.
Tips for correcting the aggressiveness of children.
First of all, the mothers themselves must stop seeing the theater of operations in the usual sandbox. Yes, a favorite child can be pushed, take away a toy or destroy a kulichik. No problem! Some aggression for children is typical. The more reason to teach the child the basics of diplomacy.
At least a corner of the eye, but watch the children play. Conflict situation can appear seemingly on an equal place. The main thing is not to miss the essence of the problem, then to explain to the children how to behave properly. Without you, the child does not know that the sand is tasteless, and it takes an hour to take a swing - selfishly.
Give the little man freedom! Do not yank it every minute. It is important to strike a balance between moralizing, and freedom of action. Some things the child is useful to learn himself. That is, first let the children themselves solve the conflict. But you should be aware of the problem, to explain the rules of behavior, if the children do not agree amicably.
Parental interference is mandatory if the child's behavior can lead to injury. Also do not forget to solve children's conflicts together with their parents. Never raise your hand and do not raise your voice to another child. And even more so - his own! In a dispute with other parents, you can not turn to accusations and personal insults.
Good luck!