The reasons for this dissatisfaction with your loved one can be different:
- uncertainty in the choice of the second half, when the girls or the ladies begin to think that they will have to live a lifetime with such a person;
- perfectionism, when he puts himself above the partner, thinking about how he / she can look like that to me;
- dependence on someone else's opinion, stereotypes, when you look like it is not as you want.
But most often in the role of the main reason is banal self-doubt. A confident person will not come up with the idea that his partner looks bad, only when they go out "into people", to tell. And this is a completely different situation. But the one who doubts himself about a partner, will behave in this way.
The most frequent solution in this case is the change of the partner, because subconsciously about any love in this situation, there can be no speech - this is what most people think. But after all, ideal people do not exist, and even a handsome and stylish partner can find many flaws if desired.
Yes, and sorting out partners, it's better the person will not, his complexes will get stronger, and then he will just be left alone with his own instincts and discontent.
In this case, you do not need to change the partner, ironing his shirts, buying dresses that he likes, and not ky, forcing him / her to be smaller and play sports. This will lead to nothing, only to conflicts, but also to an increase in one's own uncertainty. Change in this case you need yourself!
If you can not correct yourself, but you still want to be with this person, it is better to seek professional help from a psychologist. Shameful in this there is nothing, you need to think about what will help you. And turning to a psychologist, you will be surprised that he will not talk about how you change a partner. It will be about your problems, difficulties. The purpose of the conversation will be to get to your complexes, the reasons for your uncertainty.
The most effective lessons will be if you go through them together. If you have a really strong relationship, your partner will take your difficulties seriously and do your best to help you.
The problem of this behavior also has another negative side. Most often the partner trusts his beloved people, and when he will always say the same thing - that he / she looks bad, he will feel insecure. This can lead to isolation in oneself, unwillingness to go out into the street, and, in general, to get sick with a maniacal dependence on its appearance.
Especially acute is the problem with appearance in young couples. When people grow up, they begin to take a more responsible attitude to their own outwardness. Only a few percent of a hundred remain in their style, for example, old metalworkers can not fix anything unless they have mended their adult age. But the rest of the old age begins to think about what the kakoni look like, so as not to shock the society. Therefore, tastes and preferences change. The style remains individual, but changes to the side so that your second half and the people around you are happy.
As for the young couples, they are still trying to prove to the community, and especially to the partner, that they have a purely individual style, and they are not going to fake anyone. Of course, at the age of eighteen to thirty, this is important. Everyone has different ways, someone at twenty-five already begins to think about his "adult" appearance, and for someone and at thirty, long hair, ragged jeans and t-shirts with defiant pictures is the norm.
It is worth giving advice to such "critics" who are unsatisfied with the appearance of their partner. It does not matter, in principle, what looks like your half. If you are a woman, then your task automatically becomes the preservation of the purity of these ragged jeans and strange shirts. And for a man it is important that a woman does not wear old clothes. In the rest of the claims there should not be any complaints, because if you love a man, you love him completely - the hairpin to the ends of your hair, and what is there on your favorite body - should also be liked.
Basically, the reason for such a painful attitude to his partner is the unrealistic standard of beauty, inspired by glossy magazines and other media, promoting the canon of beauty "90-60-90" women and strong muscular muscles, great growth and a certain style of men.
Coping with the appearance of a woman is much easier, because they take more criticism in their address, albeit more painful, more fruitful. But men are very vigorously trying to protect their individuality, and this begins with the very childhood, when the influence of the school.
It is important to understand, accept and love what your partner loves. Of course, if it comes to what he does not need or does not like it, how he looks, but he tries to renounce stereotypes and, to look, not like everyone else. Then, of course, it makes sense to try to remake something in the unconscious, or rather, in the awareness of your individual style, and not the way to distinguish.
And the halves, which are trying to find faults in the externality of the partner, have the choice, as mentioned above, either to accept what the partner loves or find the problem in themselves, or to change the partner, which is not a good decision, although it is impossible to say unequivocally, because all the situations are different.
In general, look for a problem in yourself in any case, if you find faults with your partner all the time, otherwise you will be alone.