Public morality teaches us that we must help others. But who is against? But the same moral obliges those who are helped, to be thankful for this help ... That's what we have among our friends and relatives such "freeloaders" who are ready to transfer the solution of their problems to our shoulders.
Numerous articles in the media can unambiguously reduce the "For those who can not say NO." There, they determine the reasons that it is not customary for a man to refuse and give advice on how to refuse. We will do it differently: we will understand how dangerous it is to be a "man-pleaser", and then the altered interpretation of Hamlet's "To be or not to be" (in our case "YES or NO") becomes for you not a headache, but simply a solution (note, your solution!) of the specific situation. Only you can conduct some kind of competition or write an urgent script, taking time off from work or work; it's you, having a "just-only" voucher, lending money to friends; it is you who do what you are forced to do and go where you do not want at all. And it is understandable that the thought in the brain descends: "Do I need this?". Friends can mean a lot to you and you believe that by your consent, you return to them your duty of friendship. Although you suspect that everyone who is not pregnant is ready to sit on your neck. You have to constantly suppress your anger, trying not to "break", and this is fraught with such a strong emotional breakdown that will damage your health. In the end, the irritation that builds up inside you can spill over and damage your relationships with the companions.
An additional load for your health creates an always present feeling for a poorly executed request. Let's not deceive ourselves, because when something is done, as they say, "not from the heart", when you blame yourself for the manifested diligence and are angry with another who could "strain" you, the promise you made will not be executed as you should. Such stress can lead to the abuse of alcohol or "more abruptly".
Think about yourself more, but please others only in case of true necessity. A very exaggerated example of such a situation. A drunk person comes up to you in the street and asks you to give money for a nap. You tell him that there are no problems, let's go out to that bakery, I'll buy you a loaf. The guarantee is 150%, that with an insulted person a petitioner for bread will refuse, he needs another. Look at everything differently. Saying "YES", you make a favor to the applicant. When you are asked for something, they often add: "Yes, I would have done it myself, but I do not have the time". As if you had his car and a small cart ... You, yourself, your time, money, things at your discretion can only you, inikto, who respects you, can not even challenge it. Anyone who expects your only positive response and is terribly angry in case of refusal - a person ungrateful. Why then should you care what he thinks about you? However, the words of refusal must be apologized. Just do not develop your habits of lying with three boxes, so as not to do what you do not want. Be honest. Then you can avoid many unpleasant situations, prepared for you by life. Remember, you do not have to invent any pretexts that are appropriate. Your sincerity will be duly appreciated, you will be treated with respect for the fact that you can defend your positions. Moreover, you yourself will begin to treat yourself with great respect. The most important thing is that everyone will know - when you say "Yes", it expresses your sincere consent.