The will is the ability of people to act towards a goal set consciously, while overcoming external and internal obstacles (for example, momentary impulses). The development of the child's will goes a long way, beginning in the earliest childhood, when he acquires the ability to control his movements. Gradually, the ability to perform actions that help to fulfill desires is improved, the willingness to act contrary to direct emotional motivation is growing in accordance with a definite goal, rules of behavior. The ability to volitional self-control and self-control develops.
Parents need to take special care of the child's will if he has "risk factors" associated with complications in bearing, childbirth and in the early period of development, including:
• hypoxia (insufficient oxygen supply to the child's brain);
• prematurity;
• the state of hypo- or hypertension in infants;
• severe infectious diseases in the age of up to 3 years;
• hyperactivity, etc.
Fortunately, the child's psyche is plastic and, in spite of the transferred "harmfulness", the brain has the ability to compensate. But he will need help to recover fuller.
Certain errors of education prevent the formation of strong-willed qualities. Namely: when a child is spoiled and all his desires are fulfilled unconditionally, or when a child is suppressed by the rigid will of adults, he is not able to make decisions himself and his desires are not taken into account. Extinguish strong-willed impulse and comparison of the child is not in his favor with other children, negative evaluations of the type: "You can not bring anything to the end!"; "Denis's getting better!"
Parents who seek to educate the child's will in the family, follow the rules:
1. Do not do for the child what he should learn, but provide the conditions for the success of his activities.
2. To stimulate the child's independent activity, to evoke in him a sense of joy from what has been achieved, to increase the child's faith in his ability to overcome difficulties.
3. To explain even to kids, what is the expediency of those requirements, decisions that adults make to the child; gradually teach the child to make his own decisions. Do not decide for a child of school age, but to bring it to rational decisions and to urge to certainly implement the intended.
Development and correction of the child's will occurs in the process of his daily daily communication with adults. Below are the fragments of such communication. They show how close people can stimulate a child's ability to volitional self-regulation. Each fragment is based on a certain element of strong-willed effort: choosing a goal, overcoming obstacles and accomplishing efforts, planning and forecasting, evaluation, etc. Certain games and tasks described below are also aimed at strengthening the will of children.
It is necessary to remember the following features of the development of children: desire for them is the basis of volitional effort. Without it, the child simply can not overcome himself. It is with the goal of awakening these desires in the child that parents need to provide him with new impressions. This is especially important for babies. The more vivid sensory impressions will arise in his life, the faster he will have the desire to do something, to make changes in what is happening around. The presence of sounds, music, learning to feel objects and toys, warm parents' hands - all this contributes to the awakening of children's desires. Most of all, stimuli need infants with a reduced tone, too calm.
The first strong-willed act of a small child is easy to notice: just yesterday, he only watched the dance of the toys hanging in front of him, and today he wants to take a closer look, and he pulls the pens. Interested kids want to grab everything they see. Here is one exercise for the child to understand the connection between his desires and the efforts necessary for their implementation. Put the baby on your stomach and away - a bright toy so that he can get it. The next day, put the object a little further, so that you have to reach it, then crawl. When the growing up kid becomes more active move, he will start walking, let him feel the power of desires. Prohibitions should not be too much, it is better to secure the space in the house.
One-year-olds love to climb various objects, climb, climb over obstacles. So they learn the possibility of their body, can be convinced of their independence, skill, thus laying the foundation of purposefulness. Encourage the physical activity of children of any age - this helps the child learn to "own themselves" in a wider (than physical) sense. After 2 years, it is important that the child began to develop a number of certain habits: hygienic, regime. This also contributes to the development of the will. You can use your favorite toys, assigning them to the controller's functions: "Here is our Lala doll came, listen, she says:" All the kids are on the street, Nastya is also on time. " Here Lyalya blouse brought us. Look, Lyalya, Nastya is getting dressed herself. "
Encouraging the baby to be shared, use intermediate goals. For example, the store is far away, the child whines, wants on hands. Pay attention to the kid: "The car is interesting, we'll go closer, we'll see. And there the kittens sit, we go to them. Come on, who will quickly reach the steps. So they came. " Actions in the game image are well used for developing the ability to self-regulation, for example, from a noisy game to a quiet one. The child runs with the ball, can not stop. "And where is my" little mouse "? I must tell him that the cat is going, maybe he can catch a mouse. Here is the "mouse" (we appeal to the child). Nastya, how are you, "mouse", will you run? Quietly, so that the cat does not hear. And now go, "mouse", to the mink, go to my mother, the cat will not find us. " The child climbs onto the sofa, examines the book.
Role play will teach the child to regulate his activity.
1. Suggest your kid to imagine that he is a train driver. But the train has stops (fast running stops for a while), you need to unload and take new luggage and passengers. A small machinist can help them in the game with their parents to restore order: "bring" Mom to the kitchen, "transport" the cubes in a box ...
2. This technique is also suitable for supporting the child's effort to walk: play in different animals, how they go, how they communicate with gestures, with their "voices".
Creation of external support of conditional signals also helps the child to realize self-regulation. To help your child switch from one action to another, use a timer or alarm clock. "Look at the clock. Now the arrow on the number 1. You draw until the arrow moves to the number 4. The clock will then ring and we will talk about your drawing. "
Use restriction and specification of goals.
1. "Draw Circles" - a process that does not see the end, it may seem child boring and difficult.
2. "Draw one line of circles" - a specific indication of the goal, so the child will be easier to achieve it.
3. "Draw three beautiful circles" - not just an indication of the goal, but attention to quality.
4. "Wait for me here, count to 5, and then again to 5" - a dosed increase in the task with increasing efforts.
At the age of 2-3 years, children really want to show independence. Let the child do something not as skillfully and quickly as an adult, yet be patient, give the baby time to finish what he started and praise his efforts. The experience of concentrated long-term action is especially important for hyperactive children. If you notice that your hyperactive kid is carried away, for example, by construction from the designer, give the opportunity to continue this occupation for a longer time. Even if you cook soup and are going to feed the baby, postpone it so that the hyperactive child gets the necessary experience of directing his activity towards a certain goal. The game will allow the child to get acquainted with the rules of behavior in a new or "problem" situation. So with the help of toys, the upcoming event is torn. For example: "Our Lala doll will go to the kindergarten. Go, Lyalya, here, say hello. You will have a locker for clothes (show it). There you will be at the table, with other children (we sit at a table with other dolls), sleep in a crib. You will have friends. Then mom will come for you. " After the same option is played out with the child: "Show how you greet the group, how you will eat, sleep, ..."
The story "Seven Little Kids" and playing the situation "someone is ringing at the door" will help the child learn the rules of safe behavior. The joint development of the rules of the game teaches the rules of conduct. For example, a child "brings" bad words from kindergarten. Offer to play and agree: "Whoever says a bad word, a toad jumps out of his mouth, who is good-a flower. We'll count who will have more flowers, and who has the toad. "
But the kid grows up, his thinking develops. It is useful to teach him simple ways of planning actions. Together with her parents, the child is preparing to clean the apartment. "What do we need for cleaning?" Nastenka, prepare an apron, cloth, broom, scoop ... "The child participates in a specific labor action and performs it consistently under the guidance of an adult: for example, prepares the dough, pours the flour, pours the milk, adds salt, stirs, etc.
Using joint drawing, you can also teach the child to act purposefully, in an orderly manner. Taking a sheet and pencils, discuss with the child and draw consistently your business for the current day: "Here you are, woke up. And what shall we draw now? Yes, you had breakfast. What's next? Draw the dice. What does it mean? You play. And then? Let's go out? Draw the road, trees. And here we are with you. " This plan is guided throughout the day. Before going to sleep, the pictures can be recalled and discussed all day.
A child older (5-6 years) will draw such a plan for himself and with interest will be consulted with him (after all, this game will like more than the constant edification of adults "You must ..."). Among the large number of household chores the child can and must have mandatory instructions. "Nastenka feeds the fish, brings to the table spoons, cups, bread ..." The child will be pleased to help adults in matters where exactly he can cope - the child has a sense of his independence. "Remind me ... You have sharp eyes, one thread ... You're smart, get it, please ..."
With the development of the intelligence of the growing baby, adults teach the child to predict the development of events and encourage them to make a moral assessment of the actions. This helps the child learn to limit the impulsiveness of their reactions and be guided by common norms and values. Discuss whether the hero of the fairy tale or the real person acted correctly, for example. "And how else can you do? What do you think I would do? And you? "In various situations of communication, an adult may not react immediately, but offer:" Try, guess what I'm thinking now, what do I feel like I want to say? Why do you think I'm telling you this? Why do I ask to do this, and not otherwise, why do not I advise you to do this? "
Beating the consequences of possible real actions gives the child the right to make a mistake that in real life is dangerous for him, and thanks to the training in the game the child can immediately correct, repeat the game and choose the best option for real behavior. "The bunny was alone at home. He saw the pills in the box and thought they were sweets, and ate them. What happened to him? He cried, groaned, his stomach ached, he was ill. Bunny, show me what to do if you see something that looks like candy? And now Nastya will say. " Think together what would have happened if the chair had been able to speak; if the children were above the adults; if the cock strewed compote from the tap.
Representation of real actions helps the child to feel confident in a new situation for him and to act consistently, in an orderly manner, which forms the will of the child in the family. For example, he has to go to the store for the first time (to his grandmother, etc.). The child must accurately and coherently describe the sequence of his actions and thoughts. "I'll leave the house, turn around the corner, go to the store, look at the bread on the shelves, touch the spatula, choose a soft spatula, put it in a sack, count how much it costs, take money from the wallet, give it to the cashier, then go home ". In this description, the child uses many verbs. This contributes to awareness of their activity and purposefulness.
For the formation of the ability to volitional self-regulation first-grader at the age of 5-6 years, it is important to create an incentive for the development of the child's desire to go to school. To do this, you can organize a game in school, instructing the child to perform different roles: student, teacher, director ... It is useful to go on a trip to school, show class, tell about the school regime, the requirements for behavior. Introduce the child to the teacher of elementary grades. Playing the school creates a positive motivation for learning. At first the teacher plays the role of the teacher in the game, later the same game with peers is organized. If the child wants to play this game alone, then the role of "pupils" can be toys.
While playing in school, offer a few small, but emotionally charged assignments with interesting or unusual content, use colorful manuals, "assignments to the house." In this case, encourage the success of children. Under the influence of emotional satisfaction, the child will strive for cognitive activity. This can be a variety of games: checkers, dominoes, children's cards, "walkers" with chips, "edible-inedible" with a ball and many, many others. The game continues as long as the players follow the rules. Make sure that the rules are clear and clearly formulated, that the child has understood them: ask them to remind them to you before the game, to teach a friend. If the child can retell the terms of the game, he will most likely be able to follow them. But sometimes impatient children tend to win at any price, they are in a hurry to make a move not in turn. Instruct such a child to observe in the game for the observance of the rules by all participants and correct, if someone made a mistake. You can agree on humorous, but not insulting fines for deviating from the rules. The role of the "controller" will prompt the child to act fairly. It is not a sin if adults allow children to experience the joy of victory. After all, if only an adult wins, the child is unlikely to want to continue. The situation of success strengthens the self-esteem of the insecure child.
Senior preschoolers and schoolchildren, especially hyperactive children, are encouraged to visit sports sections. There the child learns self-discipline, his will is tempered as a whole. Too sensitive and inclined to introspection children are suitable sports, behind which there is a certain positive philosophy (for example, martial arts). In hyperactive children, there is a lack of willful behavior regulators due to high impulsivity and difficulty concentrating. In order for a hyperactive child to be successful in educational activities, it is important to take care of developing his attention.
In order to educate the will of the child in the family, use games in which you need to concentrate, and also give assignments with a change in the rhythm of activities such as "stop-start". For example, if you perform any developmental tasks (it can be performing selective hatching of geometric figures or searching in the text and emphasizing certain letters, or filling in the form for the sample), ask the child to suspend execution for a few seconds on your Stop command, and upon command "Continue" - continue.
An adequate organization of homework by a hyperactive student is also necessary: do the lessons together (the presence of an adult disciplines), ask the student to say out loud all the calculations of the example, the tasks, the text in the language exercise (this will increase the concentration of attention). This way of doing lessons with a hyperactive child is appropriate in primary school, and in the severity of the state and in the middle.