Just yesterday you had a nice evening, discussed the events of the past day, you had plans for the weekend, and today tears flow in a stream, a state of shock, followed by hysteria, aggression. Rhetorical questions "why?", "How so?". Learning about the betrayal of her husband, almost every woman will lose the ability to adequately perceive the situation, and even more so, calmly react to it.
Through resentment, pain, despair, do you still understand that you love your husband and are not ready to lose him, despite his despicable act? Then you can do as recommended in glossy magazines: buy sexy underwear, take care of yourself, again become a beautiful princess, and let him understand what treasure lives with him.
Most of the women, having learned about the betrayal of her husband, begin to roll him hysterics, demands to stop the relationship, read his phone, mail, inspects the clothes for signs of lipstick, arranges a nightly interrogation "where have you been?" And so on. Irrelevant actions to keep and return her husband are likely to cause him pity and disgust. And you will turn into a hysterical woman with ever red eyes and trembling lips.
The most difficult thing is to behave correctly after discovering the fact of treason. Of course, it will not be easy if your husband does not decide who he wants to be with. However, having withstood this test, you can return the husband to the family. So, we pass to the basic rules.
I'm not a victim!
We very often play the role of a victim. We wring our hands, let a tear, eat our lips and quietly moan, sitting in a corner. Moreover, now there is such a big reason to feel sorry for yourself - betrayal of a husband! Imagine, your husband is already being tormented by doubts whether he needed this mistress and whether he is committing the biggest mistake in his life. Returns home, and there you, with all your behavior and kind, let him know that you are a victim, and he is a scoundrel. Long endure the man will not, and most likely will go to where there are no charges, tears and hysterics.
Remember, you are not a victim!
And should I read his mail?
This desire is very dangerous, having appeared once, it will arise again and again. Do not look for new facts confirming treason. It is not necessary to read sms-ki, e-mail, a page in LJ or VKontakte. To accumulate in itself even more insult from the intimate details of your husband's betrayal, then to pour on it all this? You yourself will be unpleasant and disgusting from the fact that you have lowered to such behavior. The sense of guilt in your man will gradually grow into aggression.
Do not look for new evidence of male betrayal!
I povidiruyu you kosmy!
In no case should not look for a meeting with his mistress. She is such a woman, like you, who fights for a man. The desire to be loved, to have a family, it is just as strong as yours. Do not expect that as a result of a telephone conversation, she will repent and refuse your "Vasya" just like that. You are competing for a valuable prize - your husband. In addition, she will tell you about your deed to her husband, who will immediately stand by her side and begin to console her. Better make inquiries about your mistress, gather information and stay informed.
Do not participate in the personal relationship of your husband and mistress!
Or I, or she!
Of course, sooner or later, you have to ask the question about which of your husband your husband chooses. But do not immediately ultimatum to him to declare "or I, or she." While his feelings for his mistress are still "fresh", the choice may not fall in your favor. If you are sure that the children for your husband are the most valuable and important in the world, even more valuable than the mistress, then you can try to break this triangle right now. You can put an ultimatum in the event that you are sure that you are ready to let him go.
Honey, I'll be late today at work.
Many believe that by causing jealousy in her husband, they will be able to return it. This is not quite true. If a man is deeply involved in a mistress, then your flirting with a colleague, neighbor or just with a stranger, he can perceive as consent to such a relationship. Thus, you will let him know that you do not really care about his naughty, you yourself do not mind "having fun on the side". Remember that for many men, male cheating is not the same as female. And the reaction can be the most unexpected and aggressive. It is not worth the risk.
Do not change your husband in return!
Or maybe it's my fault?
Admit yourself honestly that you have repeatedly told a friend who cheated on her husband, wrote on the forum in the topic of male change, that if this happens, then the man is missing something in the family, so he starts looking "on the side". Think carefully, have not you turned over the years of your family life into a homemade klushu in an eternally stained dressing gown or a despotic person who completely suppressed her husband? When was the last time you pleased your man in a sexual way? Did not just fulfill their marital duty, but, for example, they arranged a romantic evening or danced an erotic dance? It's time to find the moments in which you made mistakes and urgently fix them.
It's never too late to change!
No matter how painful it was from the fact of male infidelity, you need to remain a strong and wise woman. Moreover, if you want to save the family and never give your beloved man!