These questions are the most frequent in Yandex and Google. They are constantly asked by specialists and girlfriends. They are thought about for long sleepless nights. Today we talk with the main women's themes with a psychologist, writer, author of courses for women, a personal growth coach, a Virtual Member of the International Association for Personality Development, and also a happy wife and mother - Gloria Moore.
QUESTION: Where is my half?
- Is it true that every person on earth has his own half? Gloria Moore : It's true. Only "half" is not one. Let's call it a better pair. Imagine a corridor with many doors. This is the corridor of your destiny. Behind the doors are new corridors and new doors. There is no fatalism. We have freedom of choice. For example, after school you entered the "door" with the name "Moscow" - moved from the province, and your life went along a certain "corridor". On this way you will meet a couple named Sergei. But you could stay in Saratov. And then your life would have gone in a different scenario. And your pair would be Timothy. And we have millions of such options. They are all "prescribed" in advance, but, nevertheless, we are free to choose where to go, and what task to solve.
- Can it happen that a woman chooses a corridor in which there is no half? Gloria Moore: Yes. But this is a rarity. Most often the pair still meet. However, they can not recognize each other, or simply do not know how to build relationships, and as a result - loneliness.
- What do you need to do to recognize the half? Does she have any symptoms? Gloria Moore: Yes. I have several courses on this. It is impossible to answer this question briefly, but you can learn to recognize your man even at a glance. To begin, for example, it is possible from my free course "How to find the ideal husband", in which I briefly and clearly tell what kind of men are. Knowing about these types, you can determine in advance what you expect from a man, and what not, and make a more conscious choice.
QUESTION: Why am I not married?
"Why can not I get married?" A woman meets her ideal, and he is already married. Or he is free, but he does not hurry to marry. Or, in general, does not manage to meet a normal man, the typical "wrong" comes across ... Gloria Moore: Do not believe in fairy tales about the fact that there are no real men left. They are. Some ladies manage to marry several times, and for worthy candidates. And others - never. Why? They are clever, and beautiful, and married - well, does not work! If you set aside "Lady perfection," which men avoid, there is only one reason. Girls simply
do not want marriage . Of course, on a conscious level, they want a family and children. But a person has an unconscious mind. It guides our behavior. And if you do not want to marry subconsciously, you will meet on a way exclusively unsuitable for a marriage of a man. In particular, they are married. To those to whom they "come across", we must honestly ask ourselves - what do I fear in my heart? Why do not I want to be married? Stop believing in the "crowns of celibacy", bad men, destiny, villain, age, etc. Contact a specialist who will help you figure out and eliminate your true reasons for bad luck in love. On my account, for example, six happy marriages. All six - those who are already desperate. Elderly ladies who have ceased to believe in their strength. I say six, although there are many more, but these six pairs are already time-tested, they all live from five to seven years together, and I can observe them. All these women came to me with this question: "Why can not I create a family?" And we sorted out the causes and eliminated them. Right after that they happily married.
- And what to do to get married? Gloria Moore: In order to get married, you must: first: get rid of the fears that prevent you from starting a family. Most often this is past experience - yours, or the parent. Second: to choose the right partner, so that it was really a real man, and not an unknown "ideal" of books or movies. Third: competently build relationships to bring to the wedding. If you think that this is the last instance to get married, I will upset you. This is just the beginning. Family is work. Do not work on relationships - they fall apart. No love will save. In fact, it is not difficult. You just need to learn a few rules and apply them. Then the marriage will be strong. Alas, in schools this is not taught.
QUESTION THIRD: Why does my husband change me?
Gloria Moore: Usually in the journals they write - she's to blame, she changes it. I could not, I could not, I was not a "such" wife, etc. In fact, everything is more complicated. There are treason, which are due to the relationship in the family. When a man begins to look for an "outlet" on the side. If this monogamous man, sooner or later he will leave the family, will not be able to break. Such a family can still be saved at the first stage. But only if both spouses want this, and both are willing to work hard for this. There is a type of men who will change at any scenario. Be you at least a hundred times the perfect wife. It's just that it's arranged. For him, treason - this is confirmation of the status of the alpha male, a successful person, if you want. For him, a lover is a status prize. At the same time he loves his wife and children, and provides the family, and he does not intend to go anywhere. What to do in this case? The best solution will be to accept this fact. You got a polygamous man. Follow the advice of grandmothers - do not pay attention. You can not - get divorced. Because it can not be remade. And best of all - do not marry such, if you are jealous.
- And how to determine that you are marrying a betrayer? On it it is not written? Gloria Moore: It's just written. The fact is that knowing the typology of male characters and behavior, you can literally from the first minute, even in appearance determine who is who. This is not fiction. I have been using this for many years and taught hundreds of women these chips. When you first meet a man, you are already able to understand how he will become a husband. And accordingly, you can draw conclusions - you need such a husband or not.
- So you can choose the ideal husband in advance? Simply in appearance? Gloria Moore: There's no such thing as perfect. Each type has its pros and cons. For example, "changers", as a rule, earn well. And the most correct type - in my typology it is called Intuit - it is a subtle-feeling, most true of all, but with earnings from him not very much. So it is necessary to choose.
- And it is impossible that "to the smart and beautiful?" Gloria Moore: Well, you can have two husbands. And it is better than four. Then exactly the whole set of qualities will be. But seriously, as a rule, halves are selected according to the principle of attraction of opposites. So the main thing here is to properly build relations, and understand that it is impossible to demand from the bird the ability to dig holes, and from moles - to fly. In each type - their charms and shortcomings.
QUESTION FOUR: Why does my mother not understand me?
Gloria Moore: Mom is one of the stumbling blocks in the lives of so many women. Mom - this is the basis for treating yourself as a woman, as a mother, as a wife. So imagine what happens when the mother and the lady do not have a very good relationship.
- And what happens? Gloria Moore: I can not build a family, as a rule. I spoke above about fears coming from a parent family. If the family of the parents was unhappy, the girl is very difficult to believe that family happiness exists. She believes that husband and wife should swear, deceive each other, etc. As a result, on the way she comes across suitable candidates for her beliefs - deceivers, betrayers, drunkards ... When she becomes a mother, she starts a new round of problems. She can not find a common language with the child, as her growing up, her childish grievances emerge on her mother, and new difficulties arise in the relationship ... a vicious circle.
- What can I do about it? Gloria Moore: I have a lot of work with my mother. Or rather, not with my mother, but with her image in my head. Mom may not be aware of your studies at all, and your relationship with her will still be transformed for the better. And your life will start to change for the better. Even if the mother is no longer alive, you can and should get rid of negative attitudes. Because in the end we deal exclusively with our thoughts and beliefs. I have several authoring techniques that helped me to build relationships with my mother, and then helped thousands of other women. By the way, after problems with mother are solved, problems with marriage, and with self-esteem, and with children disappear. It sounds fantastic, but I passed it on myself, and fears, and programs, and problems with my mother. I managed to build a happy family after many years of unsuccessful attempts. So you will be able to. It is necessary only to want.
QUESTION FIVE: How to become happy?
Gloria Moore: That's a wonderful question. I wish women would ask this question every day. That's only given it is wrong. The correct question is: "What makes me happy?". Ask yourself about it every day! Find something that brings you happiness - every day, and not somewhere in a hazy future that is unknown, will come or not. And do, do what makes you feel happy! These can be the simplest things - walking in the park, talking with kids or animals, relaxing in complete silence, engaging in a creative, interesting hobby ... in general, the recipe for happiness is different for everyone. But it is! Just you are looking for your happiness is not there. It's definitely not at the address: "That's when I get ... (insert yourself what exactly) - I'll be happy!" Yes you will not! If you do not know how to enjoy life now, do not learn then. If you have at least a harem of ideal husbands, your bank and a personal plastic surgeon. All this will bore you very soon, and you will also look for happiness, conditioned by the presence in your life of other people or objects. This is a dead-end road. Happiness is today. Here and now. At this very minute. To do this, do not marry, win a million, or buy a new handbag. Understand, your happiness is always inside. We must release it. There is always something to thank for this world, instead of complaining about the lack of something. And remember - your thoughts are your prayers. That's what you think most of the day - it's added to your life. So think about what you like. And it will come. Tested personally. Be happy!
Questions asked Tatyana Ogudalova.