In three years the child from the early childhood turns into preschool childhood. He formed the main character traits. The attitude to the world and to itself is analyzed as part of the environment. The future of the little man depends on how his development takes place in this period. Errors and gaps in the upbringing of a three-year-old child will necessarily appear at the beginning of school life.
What gaps in education do we allow.
We are constantly busy with something, and we do not have enough time for our children. It seems to us that there are more important things to do. Urgent assignment from the boss, cleaning - cooking - washing, sick relatives, interesting TV shows ... Like children can wait. But, as it turns out later, they just do not wait. They begin to look for attention on the side, at strangers' people. And then their parents become strangers for them. Therefore, no matter how hard it is, you need to take the rule at least an hour a day to withdraw to close communication with the child. For example, before going to bed, sit around his crib. Pat on the head, ask how his day went.
Some parents do not know how to be affectionate, they consider all this unnecessary "veal tenderness". Discipline and accuracy are the true values in their presentation. And "syusi-pusi" can only do harm. Such a mistaken opinion is a serious gap in the upbringing of a three-year-old child. Remember, caress a child is necessary as a proof of parental love. Feeling loved, he recruits self-confidence. On the other hand, the baby can be burdened by your frequent desire to strangle him in the arms and publicly kiss her. Try not to impose your feelings on him. Let the initiative to get better comes from the baby.
Excessive self-indulgence also does not benefit the child. Spoiled children become the center of attention of the family. They are never denied anything, they are shielded from all problems. And faced with the first life difficulties, they are unable to overcome them. Getting into a children's collective, such children feel lonely - because there they are no longer stars.
I do not want and I will not.
A lot has been written about the crisis of three years. All about him heard, morally prepared for him. And he, the crisis, still manages to "sneak up" unnoticed. Especially for parents raising their first child. At first, you do not even pay attention to the fact that always such a discreet and obedient kid began to play a little more capricious. Sometimes inadequately respond to your actions and words. Begins to behave unusually in ordinary situations. Writing off everything to the fact that the child was spoiled, you try to strengthen the educational impact. And then you realize with perplexity that neither the old verified educational measures, nor the new ones act on it. No whip, no carrot, nothing at all.
The situation from day to day is only exacerbated - the child as a substitute. Infinite "I want - I do not want", "I will not - I will not." Hysteria from scratch, eternal "no" to any proposal, uncompromising and stubborn. And then gradually you begin to understand that this is the very crisis! It can begin in 2.5 years, and maybe in 3.5. Approximately at this time, children are formed self-awareness, and it is this cause is the basis for the impending crisis. Communicate with them becomes more difficult. The more strictly you behave with the child, the more unbearable and stubborn he will become. The most dangerous is the option when adults beat children, suggesting that they are teaching them a good lesson in obedience. The effect is achieved: Mom and Dad in this fight won. But the child, not reconciling with the role of the defeated, will seek to gain it over his peers. He can become a bully and a fighter.
Strict parents should bear in mind that in three years, the formation of personality. Do not constantly impose your opinion. This suppresses the desire of the child to stand out and take his place in the world around him. Do not "break" the person at the very beginning of its development. Grown up children begin to demand respect for themselves, their intentions and will. By stubbornness they are trying to show us that they have this will. They also feel our character and find weaknesses in it. In order to use them to defend their independence. Their stubbornness they constantly recheck us. What are we forbidding them, is it really forbidden, or if we put more effort, the situation can be changed? Their favorite words are "no", "I do not want" and "I will not." Whatever you offer, whatever you ask - the first reaction will be "no." Because this proposal comes from you, the parents. How can I not lose my temper ?!
But look at it from the other side. You also often say no to him. Sweet can not, play football in the apartment, too, you can not buy a car and do not include cartoons. And he begins to copy you. The kid grows up and realizes that he is the same person as the others. In particular - as his parents. And there is no inequality, like you are small, and I'm big, he will not be patient any more.
Why do children not obey? Because they do not understand why it is necessary to do exactly as mother demands. They do not understand many elementary things that are understandable to any adult. They do not yet have logical thinking. Well, how can a three-year-old explain why he needs to go to the garden, if he does not want to go there today? And why does not mom buy him a machine he so badly wants? Or does not allow you to eat a lot of chocolates? In addition, they can not immediately perceive information. It needs to be repeated several times, so that they finally comprehend it and make some conclusions for themselves.
Parents have to endure this difficult period with the least loss. The most reasonable in this situation will not take everything happening seriously, show flexibility and patience. Go on about the capricious is not worth it, but where it is possible to cede painlessly, try not to inflame the situation with your adherence to principles.
He wants to be independent - let him be. And you do not interfere in his affairs until he asks. He can not fasten the button on his blouse, puffs, gets angry at his inept fingers - you do not interfere. He still does not appreciate and, most likely, will get angry with you even more. How to dress, and dress. Incorrectly pull the tights - say: "Please change your tights." Poorly buttoned jacket - point to the error and ask for correction. And so in everything. Play by its rules. When you come home, ask him to find your slippers. Or take the dishes to the kitchen, wipe the table with a rag after eating. Involve the child in cleaning the apartment. If he does not succeed, offer help. And let him learn.
A restless child.
A three-year-old is always busy with some work. Then he draws something, then cuts it out, then brings his "orders" in the apartment. And he needs to have time to look through the window, play with jars, talk on the phone with his grandmother and read with his mother a fairy tale. He is very proud of his talents. If a year ago he enjoyed the process regardless of the result, now he is satisfied with the fact that it goes well. Therefore, it is not surprising that, having learned to cut with scissors, it can endlessly chisel mountains of paper. And having mastered the drawing of a house, always depict only it. And wherever horrible: on napkins, coupons, in the notebook of parents and even on wallpaper. Appears self-criticism, the child begins to more realistically assess their success. He can be upset if he drew or dazzled something not as beautifully as he would like. Or threw the ball not so far as his older brother. He is already striving for perfection. And our task is to show him how to improve his results.
Age in 3-4 years is most favorable for mastering the skills of manual labor. It is necessary at this age to teach the child to wash hands properly and wipe them. Brushing your teeth, putting shoes in a closet, cleaning up your toys. Then he himself will start to follow the routine.
Kids love to draw. Let while their drawings are more similar to doodle, they can something to tell about the author. For example, about the level of his mental development. It is established that there is a direct dependence between him and the character of the child's graphic activity. In 12-15 months a normally developing child can draw disorderly lines. In 2-2,5 years - to copy the circle, in 2,5-3 years - a cross, and in 4 years - a square.
Draw little people children begin about 3 years. They look like a cephalopod, consisting of three parts: the head, eyes, legs or hands, which can be drawn separately from the body. By 4-4.5 years, a small artist already easily draws a man from six parts. By the way, for a psychodiagnost specialist, a person's drawing is the most accurate source of information about a child.
To make fewer gaps in the child's upbringing, check whether it develops according to physiological norms. Here are the main indicators of the development of a three-year-old baby.
Physical development of the child. The child must:
• Key a mechanical toy.
• By signal to restrain movement.
• Jump from height to length by 15-20 centimeters.
• Catch the ball without pressing to the chest. Throw it with both hands.
Mental development of the child. The child must:
• Know the six primary colors. Select items by color and shade.
• Know some geometric shapes: "circle", "triangle", "square".
• Count to five.
• Know the time of day and season.
• Asking questions: "why?", "What?", "Why?".
• Listen and retell. Identify a significant link in the story or tale.
Emotional development of the child.
• A sense of shame develops.
• He is able to empathize and sympathize, he begins to understand the emotional state of other people.
• Immediate and cheerful.
• Can talk about their feelings.
• Understands the rules of behavior, but does not yet fully control his desires and feelings.
Making mistakes is human weakness. And the human dignity is to recognize them.