Almost all parents ask themselves: when and how to tell your child about sex and how children are born. Very many parents constantly push back the delicate conversation with the child, hoping that someday somehow this question will be solved by itself. And in most cases this is what happens: children learn about the sexual life not from their parents, but from their more informed friends, from TV screens, the Internet, adult magazines or overheard conversation. But is it good that a child gets knowledge of the intimate sphere in this way, or is it better to enlighten his child himself?
Talk about sex with children need!
Often, as a result of the fact that the child receives information about the structure of the sexual organs and sex from unverified and often untrustworthy sources, erroneous ideas are formed not only about the physical difference between the sexes, but also about the relationship between a man and a woman. And these misconceptions are not always destroyed in the lessons of anatomy in school. For many people these erroneous concepts remain for life, preventing them from normally entering into relations with the opposite sex.
Thus, at the end of the last century, European researchers carried out a study that found that almost 70% of the men surveyed believed that the structure of the genitourinary system in men and women is absolutely the same, and that the female genital and urinary systems are not separated. Simply put, that women have urine coming out of the same hole where the baby is born.
Also, one of the problems that arise in the case of silent parents on an intimate topic are unexpected childish questions. If the parent was not going to tell the child about the relationship of the sexes, then, with an unexpected question of the child on this topic, the adult is usually lost, can say stupidity, laugh or paint his response with a negative tinge.
But especially impressionable children because of similar answers can face difficulties during growing up. So, on a children's question one of my friends, when she was 5 or 6 years old, about how the baby from my mother's tummy goes outside, parents casually replied that he goes through pussy. The girl by that time was familiar with her physiology and knew that there she had a tiny hole. And so, when she imagined how a rather large head of a child crawls through such a tiny hole, she had a real shock. Since then, being an adult girl, and understanding all the subtleties of female anatomy, she never managed to get rid of the panic fear of childbirth. And then answer her mother fully and clearly on the daughter's question, perhaps this phobia would have been avoided.
How and when to talk about sex?
If a child has asked you a hard question about sex, procreation, reproductive organs, death, in general, on any topic that is "forbidden," you should not immediately give an ill-considered answer. You do not have to be a walking encyclopedia and know the answers to all the questions. Take a pause. Tell the child that this is a good interesting question, but to answer it you need to think about or find relevant information on this topic. Give your word that after a certain amount of time you will answer this question. And when the given time is right, you'll come up with your answer, be sure to call the child, start a conversation with him, even if, as you think, the child has already forgotten about his question.
So where do you start and at what age can a child already talk about intimate things? And the beginning should be the same when the child studies all other parts of the human body: eyes, nose, mouth, ears, head, and then - pop, pisya. It is not necessary to focus attention on the fact that these are "shameful" parts of the body, for a small baby these are exactly the same parts as the rest of the body. In addition, these parts of the body should be called by their proper names, not "cockerels", "flowers", "cranes" and other names that have nothing to do with the human body.
More in depth and detail about human anatomy, including the reproductive system, it is worth to introduce the child somewhere from 3 years. Now on sale there are a variety of colorful atlases, books and manuals, designed just for young children, describing the structure of the human body. They describe in detail and illustrate the signs of men and women, as well as their differences. Do not forget to tell and show the kid not only about the structure of a person of his sex, but also about the opposite field too.
To acquaint the child with the topic of how children appear in the light, is about 3-5 years old. Often children of this age themselves are interested in adults this issue. It is important not to brush aside the child and not say that you will grow up - you will know, but to talk confidently with the child about childbearing in a language understandable to him.
Also, at about the age of 3, it is necessary to explain to the child that some human processes are intimate and should not be discussed and demonstrated to other people. So, it is worthwhile to tell the kid that in society it is considered indecent not only to picking one's nose, but also publicly meeting need or demonstrating underwear. Tell the child that each person has his own personal space, and that you should not hug and kiss everyone.
At this young age, do not be afraid of the topic of sex. For the child it is quite enough and it will be understandable that the tiny spermatozoa from the daddy's testicles go to the mother's pussy on the special channel, where they meet with her egg, they mix and so a new little man is born. The question of how the spermatozoa get to the mother in the vagina of children, as a rule, at this age is not very worried, so the topic of sex they are not particularly interested. Toddlers are much more interesting, what happens to the cell further, how does a person get out of it.
The issue of sex begins to worry children usually at the age of 5-7 years. And this is the most ideal age to talk with a child about this topic. It will be easier for parents and children, if you start raising such an intimate question at that childhood, when the child is not yet fully aware of the whole meaning and subtleties of this process. The child should be told that adult people, when they love each other very strongly, strongly press each other and Papin's penis gets into the mother's vagina, as the key is inserted into the lock. The main thing is to talk with your child peacefully and not be nervous.
Why talk with a child about sex?
The answer to this question is simple: to protect the child from undesirable consequences. In our time it is impossible and useless to protect the child from early sexual intercourse through bans and preoccupations. The present age is the age of information, and the child will still find out about sex, the only question is in what form it will be provided with this information: in a correct, calm and confidential home environment or by an aggressive and depraved stream of media.
A reliable way to protect your child from stupid mistakes sexually and in relationships with the opposite sex is to give him reliable full and timely information about this side of life. And you need to do this much earlier than the child will enter the adolescent period. At 11-12 years it's too late to remember. You need to start in the preschool period.
In order for your child to grow up to be a full-fledged person, with the right moral and ethical attitudes and a healthy attitude toward the opposite sex, one must speak with him about the sexual sphere, undoubtedly. The main thing is to do it in time and in a positive way.