Again "on the same rake."
Often there are cases when people who have married again, they face the same problems that they experienced in the first. This can easily be explained by the fact that the choice of people unconsciously falls on those who are very similar to the first partner. There is a similar under the influence of psychological attitudes of man, because of which the craving for a certain type is determined.
In the opinion of psychologists when re-entering into marriage, we should not forget that we do not completely get rid of the former spouse and at the subconscious level we will always compare him with the second partner. Many psychologists are inclined to think that the opportunity to save any marriage is always, but, unfortunately, the spouses do not always realize this. The person entering into a marriage for the first time is more emotional and impulsive. Having no experience in family life, he does not yet know that the important condition for a harmonious and strong marriage is the ability to yield and be tolerant of any shortcomings of your half.
It is worth noting that, compared with women, men are much more likely to enter into a secondary marriage , on the basis that women are much more cautious and prudent, they are decided to remarry only once for someone who will be absolutely confident and who they will feel comfortable with . This unwillingness of a woman to re-marry in part can be attributed to the shortcomings of men. Many women are reluctant to remarry because they simply do not want to "dive into the same swamp."
It's worth the risk.
Data from psychological studies show that repeated marriages are stronger than previous ones. According to statistics, about forty percent of men and sixty percent of women "stop" on the second marriage. There are many reasons for this.
The family can be called a sort of elixir of longevity , because according to statistics, people who are married live on average twice as long as people living alone. At the age of forty, even recommended to be married, because it helps to cope with the diseases that have arisen, various difficulties, and also adds a sense of self-confidence. This is especially true of women, because the inexhaustible flow of love and the desire to take care of someone requires withdrawal.
In any case, the secondary marriage is more successful and stable than the first one. With a second partner, a person begins to build relationships more carefully, making it easier to relate to any mistakes of his new partner and trying to smooth out the scandals and acute angles that arise.
Everything has its time.
People differently enter into a secondary marriage. Most importantly, you need to completely eliminate yourself from the thought of your own uselessness, and if for a long time after the divorce you can not build a new relationship, do not fall into despair. After all, it often happens that people who are desperate to start a new relationship, get married only in order not to remain alone and just feel someone necessary. But marriages of this kind initially doom themselves to failure.
According to statistics, women re-marry about a year or two or three after a divorce with their first spouse. In women, the rehabilitation period after the first parting takes about twelve months, while a man needs about a year and a half.
Do not hurry with the introduction of a new marriage. After all, as they say, everything has its time. You should be aware that the most accurate sign telling you about your readiness to build new relationships will be that your ex-spouse's opinion about your new relationship will no longer matter. Getting married again, you need to create a positive attitude to a long and happy marriage.
"Golden rules" remarriage.
There are some rules that should be followed in order for a secondary marriage to be more successful than the first:
- Never compare the second husband with the previous;
- Be more tolerant of your spouse. This, of course, is a rather complicated process that will require a lot of effort from you;
- A person should be accepted as he is;
- Be sure to learn to compromise and look for them;
- Try not to notice the shortcomings of your half, always be friendly and sincerely praise your husband for various successes and achievements;
- Try to treat humor with a sense of humor, as humor often plays a decisive role in relationships.