How not to push the child away from himself: the main mistakes of education

Each of us is familiar with the childish feeling when you feel resentment for undeserved punishment from adults, or for punishment for lack of apparent reasons. But after a time when we ourselves become parents, we begin to repeat the same mistakes, already in relation to our children. If you approach this question in more detail, you can come to the conclusion that some conflict situations between us and children often bear the desire to throw out an adult irritability that brings negative emotions and fatigue. Thus, adults admit a very serious error in relation to children, which may in the future cause misunderstandings and disagreements, will leave a kind of imprint that will remain throughout life.


Of course, allergic people make mistakes when raising a child, but, unfortunately, not everyone can recognize them and try to correct them by understanding the situation from an objective point of view. After all, letting such things nasamotec is strictly forbidden, since in the future reaping the fruits will still take place.

In order to avoid the loss of mutual understanding in the family, it is very important to timely, together with the child, review this or that situation. Thus, an adult will understand where he made a mistake, and thus be able to fix it. Therefore, it is important to understand this or that mistake made, in what exactly were we unfair in relation to the child.

Excessive requirements

Sometimes parents expect from their child in excess of his real possibilities, thus raising certain requirements. And in the event that the result does not correspond to certain expectations, they begin to get angry and lose their temper. Suchlike can manifest itself in various situations. For example, the child was cheated in the store, incorrectly giving him the change, or he bought not what you asked. Sometimes, parents are too demanding for children, to their school successes punishing them for what he did not happen because of the lack of certain knowledge.

It is very important to be objective in such situations, to understand what is really worth criticizing, but why not. Strictness in the upbringing of the child should be within the reasonable, the main thing is not to overdo it. It is important to remember that any behavior of the child depends only on the parents. After all, it is parents who must explain to the child how to behave in a particular situation, to have a line of accomplishment. And only then it will be possible and demand.

Actions of an inconsistent nature

This is often the case when both parents participating in the upbringing of the child can not agree on their actions, so they do not share a common approach to the child. Thus, communication in such families consists only in the presentation to each other of all discontent, there are constant prick-marks. Children are often punished, and they, in turn, do not agree with a snitch, expressing this in constant disobedience.

In order to avoid such a result, it is very important for the parents to agree among themselves. To get to the common denominator and start looking at education in one direction, instead of shifting responsibility of decision making to each other, proving to the child, whose priority prevails in the family. It is very important to peacefully agree on something, and then together to voice their unified demands.

Injustice

If you think about and remember well, you can find many examples in which we accused the children of the heat, without even knowing who really is guilty of this or that situation. Nevertheless, the working atmosphere, fatigue or tension affects our relations at home. Often parents themselves set themselves up for negative communication, even if there are no prerequisites for this, communication will be already strained. It is important to avoid such a tense atmosphere, otherwise it will not be the best way to build a family.

If you understand that for some reason or another you have offended your baby, you should definitely talk to him about it and explain yourself, asking for forgiveness.

Actions that do not have a sequence

Inconsistency of the parents' actions can serve the emergence of a growing unfair treatment of the child. In such a case, children can not see the boundary between good and evil. If a child is not punished for a certain misconduct, explaining that it is impossible, he gets the impression that this is the right one, because there is no punishment. And after some time, for the same action the child gets reprimanded, that thus forms a crisis inside the child. In fact, in these situations, reprimands should be made by parents, not by children.

Parental failure

Many people have a meeting with such a situation, when you sit, it's so nice and comfortable that you do not want to get up and suddenly a child runs up to you and starts demanding a bicycle to go into the yard or go to the store with him, or get another doll or a cabinet to get another car. At this moment, due to the disturbance of your peace, you are growing tense and irritable, that in the form of some trifle, the child distracts from unity with himself. But in fact, for the child this is far from trifling. It is very important, to bring to the yard bicycles to get a doll, which your daughter has already promised to show the neighbor. And your debt to the child obliges you to stand up and do what the prosyton. Of course, all the time to go on about the child should not, most importantly be able to distinguish the actual importance of this or that action from another caprice.

Unfortunately, there are still many cases where parents treat their children unfairly. But anyway, it is very important to be able to find and acknowledge your guilt. The authority in the eyes of the child with regard to you does not suffer in any way. It's quite the opposite. You will show your child with your own example how right it is to act, recognizing your wrong. You can thus teach a lesson to your child about how to correct their mistakes. It is important to explain to the child exactly where you are wrong, in relation to him, and where the child was not right.