Punish or agree?
Psychologists have an opinion that punishment is a necessary educational process, that without it it is impossible to form a mature personality from the child. So what should parents do to punish or still try to agree?
Is it worth it to punish a child
A kid who, from small parents, constantly hears threats, suffers various punishments and even beatings, hardly has a happy childhood. Utaakogo child, in addition to a low self-esteem and distrust of the surrounding world, will develop various complexes from which he will suffer. He will consider himself superfluous and unloved. This attitude to the child education can not be called, rather banal cruelty.
However, full permissiveness will not be the best either. If the kid knows that any tricks will never be punished, he will not be able to distinguish the border between good and evil, as well as between his own pleasure and another's pain. It is worth to note, although it seems strange, such a child also considers himself unloved unnecessary.
Sometimes, only through punishment, the kid begins to understand the scope of what is permitted. In such cases, parents need to develop a sense of responsibility in it, and at the same time preserve their authority.
However, how to understand when to stop punishing, and how to do it, so that the child does not consider himself unloved?
Causes of disobedience
To learn to understand what is possible and what can not be done, the child has to test the parent patience and authority for the strength, since the first rules are established just by them. Sometimes this is due to the child's simple-mindedness: "What happens if I do this?" Or an inconsistency in the actions of the parents (when they forbid what was previously allowed). It is difficult for such children to decide on the boundaries, they do not know by their durability what can not be done, but what can be done.
There are other options, when the behavior of the baby is clearly aimed at getting rid of the parents. This is partly true, but the motivation of the child is different than what the parents imagine. Most often, this behavior is an inept attempt to attract attention. This behavior may be in a child experiencing a deficit of parental love.
Nervous overexertion is another cause of child disobedience. Such a state can lead not only to computer games or television, but also to artificial toys. Playing with plastic toys, the child does not develop the sense of touch to the full. He does not understand that his actions can cause pain.
A correct approach to every age
Do not always talk and persuasion can lead to the desired result. Sometimes only after the punishment the kid realizes the rules and norms of behavior. However, it is worth recalling that the punishment is a consequence of the violation of the rules about which the raneerbenka was told. Those. Do not punish a child if you told him before that did not do it right. The main thing is that the reaction of the parents to the offspring of the baby should be adequate taking into account his age. For example, a two-year-old musicman is useless to punish, for the fact that he can pinch or fight. Of course, this does not mean to leave it alone, try to easily distract him.
Punish- with love in the heart
The purpose of the punishment is to help the child in the situation that has happened, to understand himself, so that in the future such mistakes are no longer repeated. In order to punish this effect, one should adhere to some advice, regardless of the child's age.
Punishing a child, you need to be in a calm state, and not when you are out of yourself. Despite the fact that this advice is difficult to adhere to in practice, first you have to deal with your own condition. Punish physically, do not get carried away.
The kid must mean the reason for his punishment. And this reason should be weighty, and not, for example, for the expression of his feelings. Also, the main thing is for the child to know the length of time for the punishment to spread, and to withstand it. However, parents should also remember this, so as not to shake the authority in the child's eyes.
Reconciliation. It is worthwhile to come up with a symbolic action that will confirm the term of the termination of punishment.
Prohibited Acceptances
Punitive measures have their taboos. Remember, no matter what the baby did, do not humiliate him or coerce him in a co-image. And also do not choose a measure of the deprivation of food or communication with it, which in itself is the most intimate for the baby.
Punish only one
To punish a baby is better without witnesses, so as not to injure the child's self-esteem. In addition, if at this moment there will be a baby watching this process, he, too, can suffer psycho emotionally.
Parents, remember, with any punishment, the kid should know that it is fair, that he still loves you!
Playing rules
Of course, it is always better to agree in advance than to resolve the conflict that has occurred. To ensure that peace and harmony always reign in the family, establish rules of conduct for oneself.
Prohibitions should not be much. In addition, they must be really important (for example, hygiene, rules of conduct, etc.). The baby should have freedom of choice, with what toy to go to the kindergarten or what suit to wear.
Parents need to withstand common standards, i.e. present to the child the same requirements. At the same time, it is necessary to be prepared to keep the framework of the permitted and, in case of violation, to apply punishment.
In the family there are common rules for everyone. If you require the child to perform some rules, do not break them yourself.
And yet, do not forget that from time to time rules are worth revising to name, because they do not need to control you, but are needed to facilitate your life.