Want to take a child from an orphanage, but are not sure of their abilities? Use the option "light". This is a guest mode or, as it is also called, a family weekend.
The reasons for which adults are invited for a weekend and a vacation to visit a child from an orphanage, or even several, a lot. Someone morally prepares for adoption, someone is in need of communication no less than children's homes. And some just want to help, "for it", charging from the clash of two forces that can turn mountains: compassion and love for people. But in any case, the guest mode for children from the "institution" is an autopsy of the emotional and social vacuum. And as for the "guests", and for the "owners".
Pros for the child First, a child sees a life outside the walls of the children's home. Find out what a family is not only from books and movies, he learns to live. The kid leaves the system, watches how relationships can be built in another, not children's home, and he participates in them, socializes. Secondly, he almost has a single person who is all-interested in his life and himself. Teachers, teachers and friends from the orphanage, of course, also have in his life. But they tightly close the circle under the name "children's home". A small person learns to prepare food, pay for an apartment, impose make-up, go to the store - he acquires skills that will not be taught in the children's home. Thirdly, it becomes possible to take up the health of a child in more detail. Fourth, he develops his horizons, he knows the world. Theaters, museums, master classes, sports competitions, in the end, he can visit more often.
Of course, for children from the orphanage organize excursions and hikes. But only in the family, although in the guesthouse, you can figure out what this little man is attracted to and choose a program, taking into account his interests.
Cons for the child
Children can feel acute return to the orphanage. Questions arise: why do not they take me forever? why not every weekend, atolko twice a month? They can not explain any bureaucratic delays, any circumstances. It turns out that he is not so, since he is not so fond of.
The guys staying for the weekend and vacations in the orphanage may be jealous of those who found the family, at least for the weekend. After such guests, the little one can behave with excitement, start boasting of gifts, capricious, disobedient to the teachers.
Once and for all
From the decision to take the child from the orphanage can not be denied, so sit down and think - can you cope. You will need to find in yourself not only the desire to help at this particular moment, but also the patience that will help you survive and the time when your "guest" will be capricious, rude, jealous of the household or ask your most important question: "When will you take me out for good ? "Many orphanage children have a diagnosis: a delay in psychological development. This also needs to be prepared. Especially when coming to the family, even in the guest mode (if it is regular), the little person becomes relaxed, trustful, ready to communicate.
Never - "Mom"
Psychologists and employees of orphanages say that the border between you and the child should be installed immediately. You are the hostess, he is a guest. And let him call you by name or by name and patronymic, but never - "Mom". Speak immediately that you invite him for the weekend and only. Promise, promise, even say that one day you will take it forever - you can not, it can cause serious pain. Say goodbye to your child right away when you arrive next time. This is very important, it will wait for you. If you can not arrive on the appointed day, be sure to warn. The trust of a small person can be maintained when you are even a little bit away from the start. Remember, these children do not have any obligations to you. A child is not required to show emotions on the first day of your meeting, be grateful for the time and attention that you give to him. The fact that you invited him to visit is your decision, not his.
Perhaps a small ward will not want to return back. Sometimes it's hard to explain why you can not leave it. But even in this case - no extra promises. Unwillingness to return to orphanages after regular visits "to visit" disappears: habit!
Do not ask the child for gifts, do not feed sweet and do not regret: "Oh, you poor thing, you have suffered". Together, get up, wash the dishes together, go to the cinema together. These rules will help to adapt the future life.
How to do it?
Documents require guest registration less than for guardianship or adoption. Noah has its own characteristics. In order for you to be allowed to take a child, you need to enlist the support of the director of the orphanage, he is a state child custodian. Meet him, spend time with the children. In addition to the contract, the director needs to collect a package of documents, he recently expanded, it includes a certificate of income, hospital certificates, a certificate of absence. The government does not support such an initiative financially. The main thing is your determination.
How to "choose" a child? Focus on the age, let him be more than 10. It is more difficult for a preschooler to explain why they took him, they decided to return him apatom. Look closely, watch. When you come home together, make the most important gift to your guest: do not lie to him, okay?