The relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law can not be called simple ... It's simple - a woman who raised a son (or sons), as a rule, very remotely understands the psychology of young women. It's not for nothing that people say, and psychologists confirm these words (quite rightly) that the best type of mother-in-law is a woman who has raised not only her son, but also her daughter.
Before the beginning of family life, the relations between the relatives of the young are developing quite well. However, as soon as the solemn day of the marriage is over, the mother-in-law begins to give advice, gradually flowing into real morals. The situation is aggravated if the young live with their parents. Not so you make a bed, you wash it wrong, you do not iron your little shirt so, and so on - who does not know this? This is your case? Then it's time to take action urgently.
In the new status
You are now in-law. It's time to think about how to build a relationship with a daughter-in-law. You are jealous of your son for another woman, although you will hardly ever admit it. After the wedding, you begin to manipulate not only your son, but also a daughter-in-law. If this does not work out, then conflicts begin to erupt, resentments and quarrels arise. You reason approximately like this: "I have been his main life for him, my son was close to me, listened to me. Now he listens to her, and yet she is still so inexperienced! ". Or so: "My poor son, probably eats some empty pasta and some chemistry, because a young wife is unlikely to pamper his nourishing soups, which I prepared for him ...".
You do not have to worry. In fact, the situation is quite different. Usually a young wife literally climbs out of the skin to please her beloved husband. And pies she learns to bake, and soup cook as your son loves. And they have the most ironed clothes, and the food is the most delicious and fresh - all the best for a loved one. Of course, after your sharp remark on the daughter-in-law about food poisoned by chemistry and incorrectly ironed shirts, to say that your daughter-in-law will become offended - it's nothing to say. In a young family scandals will begin to break out: "Your mother does not appreciate me at all", "she says that I'm a bad hostess!" As a result, your son is between two fires. Of course, it is insulting for him to hear such words about his mother. So, in response, he can tell his beloved wife a bunch of things that he will later regret. Will it please you only? Then you do not wish your son happiness.
It's bad if your son takes a position - it's your problem. Like, they quarreled themselves - and reconcile yourself. Such a position could be taken if the problem was between the daughter-in-law and her own mother (sister, other relatives). And in your case, the son must take a male position. So, if he once told you without scolding that you did not get into the soul of his wife - this is a manifestation of a man's character. Do not be afraid that the son will cease to love you, becoming living with another woman. He will soon grow cold towards you, if you constantly come into conflict with the young daughter-in-law. After all, it is not necessary to do this in terms of quarrels and abuse.
In general, the mother-in-law can only wish one. Be as patient as possible, letting young people enjoy their victories and mistakes. They will be grateful to you for not getting into their personal lives. After all, you probably would be uncomfortable if someone controlled your every step, constantly trying to teach you to do something differently. The main rule for any mother-in-law should be the words: "advice is only good when asked."