The remaining partner, in addition to the pain in the heart, is experiencing fear and depression, often there are emotional, mental disorders that cause the development of severe mental illness.
At loss of the partner solitude from the outside world at first can even be useful. Especially it is necessary to avoid "comforters" who seek to take advantage of temporary weakness. Sometimes they insistently ask about their personal lives and even manage to earn some money on this.
On the news of the death of a partner, each person reacts differently. It depends on his personality, the nature of the character, the ability to bear the blows of fate. According to psychologists, this reaction is divided into four stages, and their manifestation is not considered any deviation from the norm. At first the spouse, left alone, seems to be drugged and has not yet realized it. Usually this stage lasts several hours, but it can be longer (sometimes this state is interrupted by pronounced suffering or attacks of anger). Then follows the stage of sadness and the search for a partner, which lasts for several months, or even years. This stage is accompanied by deep sorrow and lamentation. Often a person becomes very restless, constantly thinks about the deceased partner, he is troubled by insomnia. There may even be a feeling that the deceased is nearby, and the signs of his presence may be, for example, allegedly heard certain sounds.
This condition gradually turns into the third stage - absolute disappointment and disorganization. Finally, the fourth stage is the internal reconstruction of the personality. The spouse, left alone, gets used to the loss and is already able to assess the life spent with the partner, as if from the outside, to experience positive emotions.
The main thing is that all four stages pass normally, i.e. had a beginning and an end. Grief and mourning should not become a way of life.
First of all, the grieving person must take the blows of fate, no matter how heavy they may be. It is very important to reconcile with the loss of a partner. A person must understand that the death of a loved one is irrevocable. A person who has experienced the loss of a loved one is very important to try to find himself again. It is necessary to change as soon as possible its old habits of behavior, since only in this case new ways of feeling and acting are possible. If a person can not do this, he will deprive himself of the future.
Fatal events taking place in life always give impetus to the change of the person himself: the widower has to learn to perform various daily work, and the widow - to take care of housing, to provide himself with big incomes. If there are children, the remaining spouse must fulfill the duties of both parents. The better a person manages to get used to a new role, the calmer, more independent he will feel himself, his self-confidence will be restored sooner. Only then will his life become full.
There are several forms of pathological sorrow: chronic grief and excessive idealization of the deceased. These painful forms can be of varying degrees of severity. Such patients are treated by a doctor.