Not many people know how to serve themselves favorably. This wonderful gift opens before the lucky owner any doors. Life endowed with charm lucky is full of the most pleasant meetings and interesting acquaintances. For him, it seems, there are no embarrassing provisions or embarrassing situations.
It is a pity that you can not say such things about yourself.
How here to resist?
Most likely, you have friends who know the secret of charm. For example, your friend Oksanka. At first glance - an ordinary girl. But people are always drawn to it.
Once she appears, women begin to smile, men rush to give a sign of attention, and crying children calm down. And even employees of passport offices never find fault with her documents. She has excellent relations with colleagues, a lot of friends and a wonderful husband.
Believe me, in the ability of your friend to charm people there is nothing supernatural. You can develop charm in yourself.
Under tension.
Watch out for what feelings embrace you when you find yourself in an unfamiliar company or in an official place.
Probably, you are worried about the impression made by you and do not allow yourself to relax. And in vain. Most likely, you exaggerate the desire of others to notice others' mistakes. Imagine: here is a man sitting in a cafe at a nearby table, hesitated, trying to pronounce the difficult name of the dish. Are you going to laugh for a long time about the unlucky "gourmet"?
Do you have a picture of a future failure? List the likely adverse effects. And you will see that even in the worst case, nothing catastrophic will happen.
Sometimes it is useful in the imagination to bring the situation to the point of absurdity. Say, friends called you to a party where you do not know anyone. Imagine: these vilely giggling guests surround you with a dense ring, cutting off the path to retreat, and begin to discuss your appearance, your clothes ... Well, is not it funny? The worst thing that can happen is that you will not find common themes with new acquaintances and leave with a polite pretext.
Calm down and try to relieve tension. After observing the manners of charming people, you will notice how relaxed they are. The secret of ease is the belief that the identity of each person is a value regardless of the attitude of the interlocutors.
We all know that there is a so-called sign language. During communication with the help of various positions of the body and gestures, we demonstrate our attitude to the interlocutor. Therefore, try to take the most casual position, taking a balanced position, which forces you to spend the least amount of muscular effort.
If someone is in a delicate situation, try not to focus on this and, if possible, shift your attention to something else. During a conversation try to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, but do not be obtrusive, otherwise cause a backlash.
I have all the attention.
Often the basis of shyness lies in the person's complete concentration on himself. You are so agonizingly afraid not to like the interlocutor, that you lose all ability to listen to him, to give answers to his questions.
Do you want to get rid of shyness? Try to give all your attention to your counterpart, his emotions, his mood. Be interested in his opinion, laugh at jokes. You stop thinking about whether you do everything right, and those around you will be comfortable with you. Soon you will feel how much easier it is to communicate.