How to learn to be sociable and talkative?

In our article "How to learn to be sociable and talkative" we will tell you how to cope with your shyness and become talkative and sociable. For many people, being in the spotlight and dealing with strangers is a big problem. What should you do when you have to talk, in front of a small audience, and then you have an attack of tongue tones? This fear you still stretches from kindergarten, and then from school. When your timid girlfriends at a children's matinee read your text, you were usually timidly standing aside. And maybe on a friendly feast you also find it difficult to pronounce a small toast. Then it's better to tell you directly that you do not know how and are embarrassed to pronounce these speeches. These phrases will become a wand for you. And it will be better for you than you had to blush, squeeze words out of yourself.

Do not get hung up on yourself. Shy people think that they are not interested in surrounding people, they, before saying anything, scroll through every word in their heads, and at the same time think that they look stupid. Perhaps, many would like to communicate with you, but it is not so easy for you to find a common language, you are considered an arrogant and arrogant, and shyness is taken for arrogance. Do not get hung up on the subject of conversation, then much more lively will talk. Think not about what they think about you, and how you look, but about the subject matter of the conversation. Accept yourself as you are.

You need to communicate with people more often in order to learn how to talk. First, answer a little longer for questions and more detailed. Ask yourself questions. And when the topic is interesting to both people, then the conversation will go on more lively, and there will be awkward pauses. Sometimes when you speak quietly, you are not heard because of this. You do not need to shout, but where necessary, speak louder.

It is necessary to connect gestures and facial expressions. Let your interlocutor see how you react. More often call an interlocutor by name, people like to be called by their first name. Eye contact is important, while talking do not look down, or aside, because the interlocutor will then feel discomfort. Also, it's not worth looking at, without taking your eyes off your face, it's best to look between the eyebrows of the interlocutor.

In order to become more sociable, you need to enroll in dance lessons. When in public you will learn simple movements, it helps to increase your self-esteem, overcome your self-doubt. And when you learn to own a body, it will help in conversations with people to become more relaxed.

Smile more, because a sincere smile is a good medium of communication. Thus, you demonstrate friendliness. Smile will smooth awkwardness and fill in the conversation pause. If a person does not know how to behave in society, it can slow his career growth.

Before you speak, focus on your speech, and not at all about how you look. Fear of public speaking is the most common. Prepare your speech in advance and rehearse it. Do not read it on paper, just look into it. Watch your intonation, do not blub, do not increase the pace of speech, pronounce the phrases clearly.

Among the listeners find people who are sympathetic to you and look at them during the performance. You will be given confidence by their silent support. If there is a pause or something you forgot, do not exaggerate. A pause will draw attention to the speech and make you listen. Watch the speakers, as the public takes them, how people stick. For example, before this speaker made a ridiculous reservation, the surrounding people and himself, immediately laughed, forgot. On the part of not all tragic looks are all roughness. The more often you speak to the audience, and communicate with people, the less fear and anxiety you will have.

How do you be if your shyness prevents you from getting to know the opposite sex. When a young man turns to you, and you keep too arrogant or blush. The reason for all your embarrassment. You simply do not know how to behave in such a situation, what you need to say. After all, this is just a skill to learn how to communicate, you need, first of all, to communicate. Dialogue resembles a dance, you dance, and a man leads, and your task will be either to remain alone or enter into a dialogue with him. In a conversation you need to support the initiative of a man, do not answer in monosyllables, speak in detail. If you blush during a conversation, your interlocutor may also feel uncomfortable. Tell me that you're embarrassed and ask him to fight shyness together.

How to become sociable

Only the ability to speak will help a person gain recognition and with speed to make a career. And if at the mention that you are going to have a conversation with the leader, and from the thought that you have to make a report, you want to run, where the eyes look. Your hands become sticky with fear, turn pale or blush. Are not you that kind of person? Do you mind any audience, you are a fearless orator, are you sure about this?

Such a state happens, even with those people for whom communication with the public is a profession. The text with which this man spoke many times before the public is forgotten, he is not there, he just flew out of his head. And what about those people who experience excitement before the performances. Easy excitement is quite normal, and if you can not calm down and are very nervous. Worse, when a person is calm before the performance, and at the most crucial moment, can get so excited that he can not connect two words. How can you deal with this? How to raise a painful question, how to make people listen to your opinion, how not to offend those present, how to hold a presentation or make a report, so that those present will gasp?

To show your oratorical skills and yourself at work, try to start with your loved ones. Who else but they will support and understand you in case of misunderstanding and embarrassment. Speak in a family circle. Think over everything that you say, rehearse with yourself. Speak at the birthday, family celebrations, weddings, anniversaries, then try in a less familiar company. And when you feel your strength, dare to speak at a conference, a seminar, a fly, a production meeting.

Think over your speech, and if you are lost, write it down and learn by heart. After all, a foreign language is taught with the help of memorizing texts and phrases, and in the process of communication, they seem to pop up. By training eloquence you can apply the same method.

It helps to quote the great, a description of paradoxical and funny cases, anecdotes. Remember that you have caused laughter, genuine interest and surprise. The more you have stories in your piggy bank, the more interesting speaker or interlocutor you will become, the easier it will be to communicate with you. These stories "run around" and learn how to put them into place. One very intelligent leader interrupted his rude subordinate's speech in one sentence, without raising the tone: "Let's not turn this conversation into a school of slander."

For all occasions, have a few ready-made phrases. Confidently and clearly learn to say hello, while smiling. After that, a good atmosphere arises that does not allow you to clamp. Opening the unfamiliar door, say hello, and then smile. This should be such a subtext: "I came and I'm glad to you." Even if you made a mistake with the door, apologize sincerely, you're sorry, and you did not want anything bad for these people who were distracted. Learn to speak elegantly "yes" and "no", so that no one can take offense at you and your answer was accepted with pleasure.

Great art - to answer various unpleasant questions. Recently, a well-known artist insulted a journalist who asked an innocent question. Whether it is possible to name it worthy act, hardly. And another well-known showman on such a program, called "The Sharks of the Feather", so elegantly answered the most acute questions that the journalist felt at the same time as if he had uttered complete nonsense. You probably paid attention to the interview of the same celebrity, that often in different articles there are the same answers, although the journalists who write about it are different. It's not for nothing that they say that the best impromptu is well-prepared.

Do not forget to thank, because it shows a high level of your culture. After all, at work there are often different situations when something needs to be asked: to transfer in one shift, to get a legal leave, to raise wages, to delay or to leave early and so on. Sometimes the approval or rejection depends on the form in which you are applying. Pay attention to your intonation - no impudence, familiarity, rudeness, only one request.

What you need to do if you are invited to a very important business meeting, you do not know anyone, and you need to get acquainted with the right people. Do not be upset, try to practice first and get acquainted with someone on the street. On the street in line, select a friendly person in your opinion and start your conversation with the question "Do not you think that the queue is not moving?" Or ask another question and do not miss the situation. Ask for help or ask him about anything. The main thing is not upset if you do not want to communicate. Each person has his own problems, and maybe at this moment, this person does not intend to communicate at all.

At an important reception, use specific questions to get a detailed answer that can lead to a close acquaintance. The general question will be if you ask the question "Do you like the party?". And such a question as "How did you like the speech of the president of the company?" Or "What do you think about the party that this company arranged for?", It will already be specific questions. Praise the business accessories and clothes that you liked. So, for example, the acquaintance of two business partners in business began after one partner simply praised the golden pen of another.

If you are a good specialist, you want to get a job in a prestigious firm, but complex and shy when talking to strangers. What should I do, how to overcome this shyness in myself? Think of yourself a truthful legend, think over the trivial answers to various unpleasant questions, why you left this famous company. Tell this legend in front of the mirror, and look into your eyes. If you still doubt, try to check on your relatives, and then go boldly into battle.

Even in the case when you still can not get rid of the feeling of fear, think up for yourself a soothing phrase like "two deaths do not happen, one can not pass." As Dale Carnegie teaches, imagine that all the people in the audience owe you money. Have you ever noticed that just anger and fury give you strength?

Any work for the most part is a "sale-purchase" relationship. To some extent, we are all sellers and buyers, we know that in this area it is necessary to maintain and have many contacts, to be sociable. For example, take the cries of sellers on street trading. As a rule, such advertising cries do not touch us, but one can offer its goods so that we will buy this absolutely unnecessary thing. How does this happen?

One woman told me that somehow she was traveling on a train, through which sellers were going with their goods. The voice of one saleswoman was with some kind of confidential intonation, she was selling sets of crystal wine glasses, glasses and wine glasses. She was poorly dressed, did not stand out, but her story could not be torn off. The saleswoman was so interested, sincerely and warmly said that her glasses are spinning and do not fall, the glasses sing that it was impossible not to buy them, although this woman had enough of this good.

Of course, your seller should know his goods well, appreciate him. It was noted that sets of dishes that sellers like are best sold, rather than functional and beautiful. Be able to get out of the most conflict situation with dignity. Ask the angry buyer what he wants, if you just change the product, then change, if you want to get a discount, give him this discount with a certain condition and so on.

Find yourself a role model. For example, you like how a neighbor or employee communicates with people. Look at how she answers the questions, asks them how she walks. What prevents you from behaving as well? Work on your shortcomings. It's like knowing a foreign language, how you can communicate, these skills can easily be lost, without practice. Train constantly, tell an anecdote to a colleague, praise the new clothes of a secretary, laugh a surly employee. Despite your busyness, call your old customers, talk to them, say that they are the best, and you do not forget about them and remember.

Now you know how to learn to be sociable and talkative. Your task will be to behave uninhibitedly and at ease, but at the same time remain a fairly modest person, express your thoughts clearly and be able to communicate easily. This will help you make the first step to success, and then in any team you will become a bright individuality. In your power to get acquainted with the people who surround you, and make them responsive and benevolent.