How to raise a son as a man, if you are a single mother

A single mother is not uncommon in our life. Unfortunately, quite often women remain alone with a child in their arms. And besides various material problems, the question often arises: how to properly raise a baby. If it's easier with girls, since mother and daughter have a similar psychology, then boys often have problems. Therefore, many women are constantly worried about how to grow a son from a man, not a mama's son and an egoist.

Male education

Even if the child does not have a dad, it does not mean that he should be completely deprived of male education. Therefore, one must always try to ensure that the baby spends more time with the representatives of the male sex. Grandfather and uncle should teach him what mamma does not teach. The main thing is that you yourself should realize that male education should be more strict than feminine education. Therefore, if your dad, friend or brother scolds your child and is not affected by his whims, and you yourself know that he is right - you do not need to protect your son. He should not only have female authority in his life, but also a masculine one. Only this authority must be chosen correctly. Therefore, let the child be brought up to the person whose life principles you like. If your father likes to sit at the computer and allows the child everything, so long as he does not interfere, he can not write it to the authority of his son. At the same time, if your brother is strict and does not indulge, but always acts in justice, and he himself lives by the laws of conscience and honor, then it is he who should become the authority for the child. That is, it is a question that one should not teach the life, whom the son loves more (and the children love those who allow everything and indulge) and the one who really can put something worthwhile in it.

Say "no" to the mother's inferiority complex

Many women are too shaky about their children and they always feel sorry for them, arguing that he does not have a dad, and it's hard for him to live. This position is completely erroneous. The absence of a father is not a defect. Think for yourself, how many children grow with fathers-alcoholics, fathers, who simply do not care, fathers-despots. Your child, on the contrary, was lucky. No one influences him negatively. And he is by no means defective. And he will not feel that way if you do not inject it to him. Conversely, you must behave in such a way that he understands from a young age: I am a man in this family, and I am responsible for my mother, and not she for me. This does not mean that you do not have to help your son, but excessive care is also not welcome. If something does not work out for him, if he is capricious and misbehaves, this is not because he does not have a dad. Just need to make more efforts in his education and training and most importantly, less to indulge. If the baby does not hear and feel that you are sorry for him, it is because he is left without his father, then he will never think about the defectiveness. And if someone says that he does not have a dad, he will not even have a thought to be offended. After all, he has a beautiful mother, grandfather, uncle, he just will not understand why the Pope is impatient and that such a hurt that there is no such person in his life.

To indulge nurse

Raising a boy, you always need to remember that his character should be stronger than that of a girl and he just can not cry over anything and go to his mother. Of course, this does not mean that the child should constantly behave like a small universal soldier, who does not care. But if the baby often cries, does not know how to give change and runs to you to complain at all, then urgently needs to change the model of education. Explain to the child that he is a boy, he is a man, so he should not cry if other boys offended him. On the contrary, you need to give change, and do not wait until your mother comes and sorts it out. You must be prepared for the son to be bruised and bruised. And no matter how hurt you are for him, you do not need to wail and be killed. If this does not cross borders and the boy is not beaten, you can even praise him for defending his opinion. Only it is necessary to watch then that the son was fighting for justice, and not insulting others. In any case, any boy should break his knees, fight with other guys and play in the war. If you take it from him, he will definitely grow up as a "muslinbear", which will not be able to stand up for himself and will wash his tears with a love affair.

Teach your work

A son must be able to do his masculine work. Of course, he, too, should be accustomed to help with housework, but still, the main thing is that he can do what women should not do. Therefore, if something needs to be repaired in the house, always involve the child in this work. If you yourself know a lot, then teach him, explain, say that he is a man, and men always help women. If you do not know how to do something, ask your relatives and friends of the male for help, so that the child can be with them. And they, in turn, should teach the child useful, and if he asks why it is necessary, explain that all clever boys and uncles should be able to help girls, and especially their mother.

Do not pervert yourself into a feminine ideal

A woman who has spent half her life raising a child, always wants to remain for him the best in the world. Therefore, ladies often begin to compare with themselves first other mothers, and then the girlfriends son, and hint to him that my mother is the best. So in no case can I do, otherwise, in the end, the kid will become a mama's son, who never finds a pair for himself, since no one can compare with his ideal mom. Therefore, always try to treat adequately your place in the life of the son. If he loves and respects you, helps and worries, you do not have to force him to give you his time. When the girls start to appear in the boy's life, do not look at each and every one negatively. Even if you see that devochkivno not so hot, do not put a sazu to rush to his son with moral teachings and orders to sleep do not communicate. First, you still do not know this person the way he does, and secondly, he must learn from his mistakes himself. You can prompt something, accidentally point out its minuses, but never show your dislike. If urebenka wise and understanding mother, then he will always look for a woman similar to it. But you, as a mother, will never be completely satisfied with anyone, so humble yourself in such a course of things and adjust yourself to the fact that your son should become a self-sufficient person and you have no right to make decisions for him.

Well, the last - always push the child to "boyish" studies. Let him do football (basketball, rugby), go hiking, and be interested in shooting. Even if these kinds of sports are traumatic, still let your son become strong and dexterous. Remember that you can not keep it permanently in the comfortable world created by you. He or he will escape from there, or life will force him to leave, and then, when faced with the real world, he, without being a real man, will really become a victim.