We are all quite different, we all have our own habits and attachments. Our children are also different. Bears in the school backpack, zhelezyaki in their pockets, scuffles and crypts, ignorant and know-it-all, fast and slow ... Of course, you can try to change it, but is it worth it? Each feature makes us an individual, unique and unique in its kind. You just need to think about how to take it all!
Way of communication
All babies cry. They thus communicate with us, express their feelings and emotions, until they learned to speak in words. Only some babies cry less, others - more, but often this is the only way to make us pay attention to them.
There are parents who pay attention only when he cries, so in time, the baby just has such a habit - all the while, whimper. They are such a way to control the situation, that is, to make mom or dad come, you need to shed tears. And when you start playing according to the rules of the child, he will start using this to achieve his own. All the children are whining and whimpering, but it is not impossible for a little whiner to master the situation and win. You can not let a child think that this method works.
The same can happen when the parents give excessive attention and care to the child in case of some failure, for example, the mother can say: "My sun, my little one, does not it hurt you? Did you get hurt badly? "In such situations, the children understand that they are sorry, so they begin to whimper at all. Analyze your behavior in such situations, perhaps you are too pitiful to react to the trouble of the musician. Remember, is it so, that the cry falls and he gets up, but you do not interfere?
Kids are so arranged that they have to give us all the time to give us signals that they are hurt, that something hinders him, maybe he needs something, where we are right, and where not. They are not shown in words, but in actions, behavior and gestures. Our task is to catch these signs and try to understand them correctly, then the reaction will be right.
Feature of the temperature of the child
If your child whines not from what you give him with excessive care and attention, then nagging can be related to his features with which he was born. He can be very vulnerable and sensitive is his temperament feature. Such children react differently to noise, sound, light. This does not mean that such children are not such, they just have their weak and strong ones. His strengths - he is more sensitive, more sensitive to the mood of others. Such children have more abilities for drinking, music, and art. They even sometimes develop faster. These guys are not only more whimpering, but also laughing more. But more often they do not whine because they are not privy, but rather express their happiness, they are more rich, rich and brightly perceive the world, and their feelings are much stronger and sharper.
Whining is not always a bad thing, because usually after tears children feel much better. Parents do not always have to reassure the child, sometimes it is useful to cry and cry.
Of course, excessive attention develops the habit of whining and whimpering, but this does not mean that it is necessary to encourage children's tears. Learn to be more relaxed about crying your own. Do not mock the child, do not threaten him, do not banter and do not punish. If you see that the child starts to start again, behave calmly and smoothly, but this does not mean that you should be insensitive to your baby. On the contrary, be sensitive.
Why the child is wounded?
If a child has low self-esteem, then the cause may be increased vulnerability, tearfulness. Think about your relationship with a child, perhaps you require the impossible from him or force him to do what he can not do. You can say that in education should be criticism and comments. Just remember that the children are more vulnerable and sensitive to everything that we tell them. There are kids who calmly react to remarks and shouting, while others begin to whimper already from a formidable glance. Such children need the softness of a hommor, not punishment and severity. Nestoit to punish the child for the initiative, which he showed or made independently any act, because they still can not do everything professionally and correctly.
Children always feel guilty for themselves. If you have a sensitive child, then show more tact and patience. Give him only those tasks that he can perform and praise him for every success. Let everyone think that you are not strict and not demanding, but your child needs love, understanding and explanation. It is these babies that reciprocate, they can intercept the bad mood of their parents and just enjoy themselves together or take offense because they are bad for their parents. If you do not have a mood today, then calmly explain to the child why.
Find out the reason
We ourselves can not control the behavior of children, because this can lead to problems in a more adult age. Of course, we often imagine how our kid should behave, but do not put pressure on what he should, just listen to the child and understand what he needs.
Try to understand the reason for his whimper. Think about how you usually react to similar situations. Why did not your reaction stop the whine? Track when the kid is most likely in a bad mood? Maybe when he was tired or hungry? Maybe when you are tired or talking on the phone? Often children whimper, because they want attention, try to distract him.
Equilibrium and peace are the main rule
In order for the child to show his emotions and requests in a different way, try to teach him to use the right intonation. For example, when the baby starts to whimper again, tell him firmly: "Try to calm down and repeat again what you said. When you cry, I do not understand anything. " And continue to do what you did, try to strongly ignore the fact that he whines, try not to continue to talk with the child until he stops whimpering. When the child stops whining, continue the conversation and say: "Well, now you've calmed down, you can tell me how I can help you!". Do not be irritated, speak smoothly and calmly.
When the child calms down, choose the time and explain to him, why the difference between normal conversation and whining. Just tell him that the tone he is talking to is unacceptable, and you can understand him only when he talks normally.
Moreover, the kid should understand what a normal acceptable tone is, do not rely on the fact that he knows it. Demonstrate to him how you can speak with a dithering voice and how you speak normally. For example: "Here I whine: ma-ah-ah-ma, u me-e-e-e-nya is not about-ooo-ooooooooooooooo ". And now I'll say this in the usual normal voice: "Mom, I can not do it. Please help me. So you, too, say so, if you want to ask something or ask for help. Now it's your turn, try. "
You can also call some corner in the house "whining" and when the baby starts to whine again, send it there for a couple of minutes to get uncomfortable. It's not for nothing that our parents sent us into a corner. Scientists have proved that such angles can kill negative emotions. There the kid can take himself in hand and start talking with your normal voice.
If you are going to teach your child to manage his emotions till the end, then it does not matter in what place you are, change your plans. For example, you are in the park, the child begins to whimper, tell him: "You re-awake, do you remember our rules? Everything, we go home. " Otherwise they will not cease, but this will happen, because you will allow this to happen. Do not be angry, do not shout, do not get irritated, act calmly.
Perhaps, the baby will slowly change, but every situation in which the child showed himself well and did not start to whine, encourage. The first results will appear in three weeks. The main thing is not to give up. Look for an approach to your child.