One of the most important reasons is the discrepancy between our expectations and reality. We hope that a loved one will behave as we wish, but it turns out the opposite. And then we realize that our templates are broken, which we created in our head for a very long time. That's why there's a grudge.
The second reason is that we consider ourselves perfect, and we do not have any shortcomings. "How dare he make a remark to me!" - These are the words of indignation that make us take offense at our beloved. And there is also intentional resentment. This is when we want to get some benefit or cause guilt from a loved one. And maybe, it's fatigue that makes us constantly offended by our beloved. Any said words are then taken seriously and cause irritability and resentment.
The next reason for the resentment is the accumulation of life's troubles. Sometimes we get offended, we pursue goals. One such goal is manipulation. Offended for no reason to force an expensive person to talk or do what we need.
The next goal that is pursued is blackmail. Offended, we force the loved one to suffer and thus pay for actions that we do not like. And one more goal is self-justification. By our offense, we absolve ourselves of all responsibility for what happened and can do nothing to correct the situation. Having disassembled all the causes and goals of the offense, we will look for the answer to the question: "How to stop, constantly take offense at a loved one?"
First, you need to change a little yourself. This is very difficult to do, but it is in our power, because a person creates himself.
Secondly, always remember that your beloved is also a person who has his desires, habits and needs. Sometimes put yourself in his place. Feel all that he feels.
If the cause of your resentment is fatigue, then try to have a good rest, have fun, or maybe just read a good book.
If you start to feel that you are hurt by the words of a loved one and you are ready just about to be offended, stop and look at this situation through the eyes of an object that is next to you and imagine what he thinks of you and about all this. Believe me, you will become ridiculous. The most unpleasant, when you can not understand the reasons for your grievances against an expensive person or you do not know how to deal with these offenses, then you need to turn to a psychologist. And the sooner you do this, the better it will be for you.
It is necessary to remember one thing before taking offense at a loved one, think about whether you will regret it after a while. After all, the insult consists of five layers: anger or irritation; Your heartache; fear of losing the dearest and beloved person; repentance; love.
After all, most of all we take offense at the one we love most. If we are offended by a loved one and even if the offense is justified, still give him the opportunity to explain the reason for his act. This will help you maintain your relationship and strengthen your love.