You stood between her and her son.
This is how very often the majority of mother-in-law is considered. Before your appearance in their family, there were wonderful relationships, at any rate, your husband's mother believed so. She completely controlled their relationship, darned her son's socks and cooked a diet soup. With your arrival, everything changed - the son stopped telling his mother all the details of his life, began to appear less often at home, and my mother's dietary dishes, useful for the stomach, preferred hiking with you to restaurants. Naturally, a woman who has raised her son for many years and lived with him, is jealous. But it's completely unnatural if it interferes with your relationship.
Mistakes of the mother-in-law, who suffers from jealousy towards you, consist in the fact that she tries to keep her influence on her son, no matter what. She is sure that you will not be able to surround her beloved son with the care that he is used to. And the most difficult thing is that your husband probably does not see a problem. He is used to the fact that his mother is always there and always gives advice, and you in his eyes do not yet have the authority necessary for his unconditional submission.
It is not easy to get out of this situation. First of all, understand that your family is not a field for military operations, and there is no reason for sharing power. Your husband loves you both, but in different ways. The best way is to live separately with the mother-in-law. If this is impossible for some reason, talk with the spouse, he, and not you should explain to the mother where the limits of permissible interference in your life end. You try to be correct, but do not let the mother-in-law take the reins of government into your hands, that is, try to at least tasty and regularly feed your husband, to monitor the condition of his shirts and trousers. And try not to quarrel in the presence of your mother-in-law, it will only set her against you. The rest of the details of your life can be completely hidden from it.
You're not coming.
It's quite another matter if your mother-in-law is not just jealous, but she is convinced that you are not a couple to her son. This is another common mistake mother-in-law, which faced many young wives. Of course, the mother of your husband does not want her son to spend his life alone with her, she wants grandchildren and does not mind his son getting married. The problem is that she has decided for a long time what a decent wife should be for her son and, unfortunately, you do not match these criteria.
Most often, mothers want their future daughter-in-law to be their good family, possess modesty and beauty, have a good education and decent work, was not stupid, obedient, appreciated the family above all, was a good housewife, dreamed of children and had a decent dowry. However, even if the daughter-in-law possesses all these qualities, the picky mother-in-law will always find that to condemn - whether it is a manner of behavior or inability to sew a dress to herself.
Here you need to understand that the choice of the wife, first of all, is for your husband, and not for his mother. And if he chose you, then you answer all his requirements. Do not try to prove your mother-in-law, that you represent the ideal of the wife, just do not enter into conflicts with her, do not try to please everything. Over time, she will either resign herself or you will be freed from the obligation to communicate with her, which is not always a bad thing.
You're a bad mother.
Another common error mother-in-law - an attempt to replace your children mother. No matter how hard you try, no matter how you raise children and whatever you do, in her eyes you do everything wrong. Not so you erase diapers, not so you feed by a breast, not so you dress and incorrectly bring up. Of course, my mother-in-law can say that she has great experience, and has already raised a beautiful son. But you do not have to have the same knowledge and skills, being at least a quarter century younger.
Your children are your children. The mother-in-law can perform only the role of grandmother, assistant, but not the main teacher. Only parents should decide how to educate their children. So do not let her seize power and do the children yourself. When communicating with your mother-in-law, leave clear instructions for what to feed, what to wear, what to let them watch on TV. If your mother-in-law does not listen, just limit her communication with children - this will work with time.
You ruined her son.
It is quite natural that after the wedding, especially if you live separately, your husband has become a little less paying attention to the mother, has acquired new habits, changed the way of life. The mistake of the mother-in-law is that she perceives any changes in the son only as bad. She can try to conduct instructive conversations with him and tell you that you have a bad influence on her son, even if the changes consist in the fact that he stopped wearing a tie even at the dacha.
Here only your husband can put a decisive point in the conflict. He can talk to his mother and explain to her that he is old enough to make his own decisions and be able to distinguish between good and bad. Since you have your own family, it is only natural that your husband will not be able to pay much attention to his mother, but he will not leave it either.
Errors mothers can spoil the life of both you and your spouse, sometimes because of such conflicts families are destroyed. But you need to understand why your mother-in-law behaves in this or that situation, you need to be on the side of your family, but treat your mother with respect. And the main role in the relationship between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law should be played by your spouse, after all, his first duty is to take responsibility for you and take care of your parents. Therefore, do not rush into battle with your mother-in-law for every occasion, leave your husband to solve all conflict situations. At least because the mother and son are always more likely to agree.