Probably, you occasionally encounter in life with people who constantly complain about their problems, they say, they did not do something, or, on the contrary, did what they did not and do not always have the desire to continue communicating with such a person. It's one thing when you have to listen to the complaints of a colleague at work and it's quite another to listen to such sorrow from someone you do not know at all, for example, during the rest. In the first case, you are forced, well, in the second, every sane person who has no deviations in the psyche, tries to stop communication as soon as possible. So, you did not think, but why do you want to not listen to other people's complaints?
Quit and other people's problems are of little interest and in most cases if there are any problems, then they need to be addressed. A person is a blacksmith of his life and if there are any questions, you need to solve them yourself, because no one will help a person better than himself. If you are constantly scrolling your problems, this leads to the fact that the negative accumulates and eventually he sits sideways in the form of diseases.
If you do not want to be treated then, prevent future illnesses mentally, that is, stop thinking about insoluble situations and just solve them. In order to get rid of the discomfort inside yourself, while not solving the very cause of discomfort, you can just pronounce it, whether it's a girlfriend, a stranger or just walls. Such a method (it is not effective) of temporary relief from spiritual discomfort is beneficial only to the individual, but the problem remains a problem, while the person to whom you have entrusted their adversity will in any case have an opinion about you that will always be designed, whether he wants it or no.
Dissatisfaction with oneself and with life can cause a person not to notice the fact, starts spoiling life for themselves and others, and the time that could be spent on solving a particular problem goes to waste. If you see that the person with whom you decided to speak out tries to get out of the conversation and has a dissatisfied face, it means that you are doing something wrong and now the question arises whether it was worth it to start a conversation at all.
Of course, there can be many reasons for the dissatisfied person, but one does not need to be selfish and constantly talk about his sorrows, because a normal person constantly listening to pity will begin to get bored, and in general will lose interest and eventually try to avoid talking as such for some reason. People like to listen to positive information more, and it's not even flattery, but the fact that when you listen to positive information, even the mood improves, and it's much nicer to communicate with a person who is positively positive than with a whiner.
In the end, some people try to calm themselves by talking about the problem, but not solving it, while others, on the contrary, act and get rid of it, it turns out that conversations are wasted for nothing, they only have a soothing effect for a while and do not more, so "talking a problem" is not a method of solving it and it is not true.
So, how do you find your way of solving the problem moments in life?
Alas, but there are no universal options, because each case is individual, but there is an interesting algorithm of actions, listening to which, you can bring yourself closer to the goal.
The first thing you need to do is to compose for yourself in your mind or write down on the piece of paper several ways to solve the contentious situation.
Next, decide on the time (maximum and minimum) that you think will go to resolve the situation, as they say, set the time, well, try to observe them.
If you can not solve the problem, try to find more ways to solve it, if it is solved halfway, then this is the result, you tried, but if you found out everything for yourself and received a negative or positive answer, you can be calm, is there a result.
So, your problem has remained in the past and you start energetically spending your time and health on thinking of this kind: "what would have happened if ..." and so on. It is necessary to stop, because such self-interest will lead to nothing, the history is already in the past, one must think about the future and act. Take up physical labor, it will distract you, and bring its results, well, in the end, will cheer up.
Learn to see yourself from the outside, developing a high level of self-control, because only in this case you stop digging in the past and thinking about the negative. Life energy does not need to be wasted on thinking about what would happen if, it's very destructive. You need to tune in to the positive, even if the negative does not come out of your head, find something good around yourself and make it the center of your thoughts. In order not to destroy yourself from the inside, tune into positive thinking, because you must have the instinct of self-preservation. The internal state of a person depends solely on it, so you need to concentrate on the positive.
You managed to adjust yourself to the positive, well, what if the people with negative surround you? Yes, there are situations when the negative does not escape, but if you learn to develop a positive lifestyle (if it is not developed from childhood), you can minimize the negative that you get from talking with him.
People who think about the bad have always been and will be, it is a kind of given and should be treated calmly (if, of course, there is enough strength to constantly listen to something negative) and let it all go by the ears. To think positively, you need to work hard and hard on yourself both emotionally and physically, and often re-lazy laziness.
Negative information is completely useless, it is destructive and destructive, so you need to make it pass you by. If you can not listen to your negative-minded interlocutor, limit the time and opportunity to communicate with such and hint to him subtly that you are more interested in other topics for conversation.
Deliver to the interlocutor a thought on an abstract level, that bad thoughts are reflected in real life and are the cause of failure. If you want to help the interlocutor, suggest several solutions to his situation and if he ignores your recommendations, just translate the conversation to another topic, since it is clear that the person is not interested in solving the problem, but simply wants to complain and thereby calm himself, and we then we know that such conversations do not lead to anything.
So, we draw conclusions to stop thinking about the negative you need: Regularly work on yourself, while trying to concentrate as little as possible on the negative, think about the good.
On negative situations in your life, you do not have to particularly focus attention and try to forget all this quickly, while clearly understanding that thinking about the negative, you can harm your body. The positive attitude of life is an integral companion to an active lifestyle. If there is a problem, you need to clearly and quickly accept it as it is and understand, plan an action plan for its elimination, start its implementation, while not forgetting to spend at least 2 hours a day in the fresh air, and also introduce into your daily routine , start doing gymnastics or any other physical exercises. Try to limit yourself from the negative and in any case do not take it to heart.
As for people who are negatively thinking, you want to surround everyone, you have to accept their existence, understand that most of them will not do anything to improve their emotional and psychological state, because this is hard work. They prefer to discuss problems, but do not solve them. You in communication with such people need somehow to try to bring the conversation into a positive channel or even radically change the topic of the conversation. Do not react to their negative comments and try to not take all the information heard to heart, but do not give it much attention. You can offer your own solution to the problem of the negative-minded interlocutor, while using abstraction and detachment, that is, for example, your friend had such a problem and he decided it in the following way, but if he does not listen to your opinion, then leave his attempts to help and simply Translate the conversation to another topic. Negative energy coming from the interlocutor, in any case, is not useful to you and negative emotions can be the cause of diseases, so try to shield yourself from the negative from the outside, and try not to think about it yourself.