Therefore, the question arises - how to support the child after the divorce of his parents, because always, at all times it was believed that the breakdown of the family is causing deep wounds to the children who have not yet formed. To understand this issue, it is important to realize the seriousness of the problem.
What is changing?
Someone can say, "Time heals." But is it? Does divorce bring irreparable damage to children? According to one magazine on social problems, what happens after the parents' divorce, then how family relations are built, has a negative impact on children no less than the divorce itself. Here it is possible to result one life event about which the victim of divorce of parents has told:
I was then about three years old, my dad drove in to pick me up and spend time with me. He bought me a smart doll. Then he brought me home. We did not sit for long in the car. And when my mother came to pick me up, they started swearing hard with her dad through the open window of the car. I was sitting between my mother and father. Suddenly, Dad pushed me out into the street and the car drove off with a squeal of wheels. I did not understand what was happening. My mother did not even let me open the box with the doll. After that, I never saw this gift. And she did not see her father until she was nineteen. (Maria * )
Yes, in the case of this girl, the divorce of parents brought new difficulties to her life. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to how to support the child after the parents' divorce. After all, each of us is responsible for what happens to our neighbors.
The important role of parents
Since both parents participated in the conception, the children are entitled to both mother and father. Therefore, the divorce of parents to some extent infringes upon the right of the child to have both parents. Why is this statement true? Basically, after the divorce of parents, children live with their mother and sometimes meet their father. Many of them meet with fathers no more often than once a year! And also after the divorce, the time of joint communication is reduced for almost a day.
Experts agree that, most likely, children will better adapt to life if they maintain regular relations with the one and the other parent. But how can parents support a child after a divorce and have a close relationship with him?
If you are a mother, this will be a difficult task for you. Because divorce and poverty go hand in hand. Therefore, determination and good planning are necessary. You need to allocate as much time as you can, and together with the child decide what you will do in the allotted time. After all, a little attention is better than no absence at all. When you plan in advance something special, the child will look forward to this event with impatience.
Close contact with the child is very important. Encourage the child to reveal his heart and what he thinks about. Some may find that a child deep in the heart feels guilty for the gap between the parents. Someone thinks that one of his parents rejected him. In this case it is important to assure the child of his good qualities and successes and love for him of both parents. Thanks to this, you will make a huge contribution to mitigate the mental pain caused by the divorce.
A child is the subject of a contest between parents
Because of grief and evil attacks, mostly accompanying the divorce, it is sometimes not easy for parents to not involve children in this war between themselves. According to some reports, about 70% of parents openly fought for the love of their children and attachment to them. And of course from this children feel themselves the object of claims, which negatively affects their psyche and its formation. Various complexes are formed. There is a feeling of guilt and self-hatred. Therefore, even if you have good reasons to take offense at your husband (or wife), do not use children in your own interests. After all, the goal of parents is to support the child, but not to break it
How can others support?
Often after the divorce of parents, other relatives cease to play any role in the lives of children. They are more focused on the conflict itself than on children. In this case, children are even more feeling worthless. According to one magazine, children after the divorce are reinforced, at least, by some surviving links. If you are a close relative of those children whose parents have dispersed, then try to be encouraging to them - what children at that moment of life so need. If you are a grandmother or grandfather, find out more about how to support a child after a parent's divorce. In such situations of life you need them so much! When children grow up, they will be very grateful to you for your love.