Emotions have a huge impact on the lives of adults - what can we say about young children? Many mothers know that babies sometimes either get hysterical, upset, or become completely uncontrollable for joy. It is important to teach the child to manage their emotions.
Do not prohibit, but direct
The ability to understand your emotions and express them acceptable to others is one of the most important qualities of a mature person. However, the foundations of this skill are laid down in childhood. A small child is not able to control emotions: they, like waves, overwhelm the crumbs with their heads. And the task of parents is to help the baby.
The main trouble for adults is the negative emotions of the child, which are often accompanied by cries, tears or physical aggression. In this situation, parents usually ask the heir not to be angry and not to cry. Unfortunately, this method is rarely effective. But still you can teach the child to manage negative emotions.
Firstly, even an adult can not stop experiencing a feeling just because he was asked about it. And secondly, a prohibited negative emotion, like a water blocked by a dam, will look for other ways. So, anger that was not manifested can be addressed by a child to an innocent domestic cat or even to himself, which sometimes leads to unpleasant consequences - depression, psychosomatic illnesses. That is why it is important not to suppress negative emotions, but to teach the child to guide them to a peaceful course.
How not to drown in a sea of feelings
What to do if a child gets angry or cries of resentment? Recognize his right to these feelings. Even if their reasons seem to you stupid or insignificant. Losing a favorite toy, a quarrel with a friend, unsuccessful attempts to tie shoelaces on shoes themselves can look like trifles for an adult, but not for a child. Saying that the kid is upset because of the nonsense, you let him know that you do not take his feelings and feelings seriously - and that's when he needs support. Do not give negative assessments of the child's feelings. Such phrases as "good children are not angry and do not harm" or "boys do not cry", teach children to be ashamed of their feelings and hide them from adults.
Show sympathy. It is important for children to know that they are not alone, even when they are angry or sad. Give your child to understand that you are near.
In this case, indicate the emotion of a son or daughter, call her words. Later it will help him to learn to identify his feelings and not to scream, but to say: "I'm upset" or "I'm angry." Offer the child a "safe" way to express emotions. In the heat of anger children of 2-3 years of age sometimes try to beat their loved ones. Do not let it do it! Catch the baby by the hand and quietly say calmly: "You can not beat my mother," and then invite him, for example, to beat the pillow or the ball in order to get rid of negative emotions.
If the child is already in the grip of the senses, do not question him about the reasons. Better give him the opportunity to cry or swallow, and then, when he settles down, talk to him about what happened.
Learning to apologize
The best way for children is to learn from the example of adults. Therefore, in order to show the child how to manage your feelings, you and yourself need to be able to do it. And although adults are usually able to control themselves, it is in communicating with children that this skill sometimes fails.
Meanwhile, the child is important to know that his negative emotions will not cause a negative reaction from the parents. If mom and dad are able to survive these emotional outbursts without showing any anger or resentment, the child understands that his feelings do not pose a threat to himself or to others. This gives him additional confidence in his abilities.
Therefore, it is important that you can calmly react to childish anger, resentment or grief. However, parents are also living people, they also have hard days or bad health. And if you understand that you begin to "boil" in response to emotional "zabryki" of your child, try to remember that children behave this way not because they want to anger or offend parents. They just do not know how to cope with their feelings, do not know how to express them in a different way; if your child is sad or angry, it does not mean that you are a bad mother. Negative emotions are a normal part of human life, and only after experiencing them, the kid will learn to control them.
If you did not manage to hold back and, for example, shouted at the baby, find the strength to ask for forgiveness. So you show how an adult should behave if he does not cope with emotions.
What do they mean?
Our emotions do not arise from scratch, just like that. Each of them has its own function. For example, negative "signal" that the situation does not suit us and that we must somehow get out of it. Positive emotions - an indicator that everything suits us, is good for us. This is a kind of "gingerbread": I want to return to a positive state. And for this it is necessary to do something from which it arises. The function of surprise is to "report" that reality does not meet our expectations. Interest anticipates events, and fear warns of danger.