Strong bonds
Up to 6-8 months, babies calmly react to parting with their mother. But closer to the year the child unexpectedly for parents can begin to protest violently against my mother's care: inconsolably cry and tear "run" next. Some mothers are extremely sensitive to such manifestations of childlike love and with great difficulty leave the child, feeling remorse and almost crying. But such reactions only aggravate the situation. As a result of separation becomes more painful, the attachment of the child to the mother threatens to go into a pathological form. The situation when the little one does not let her mother go to the toilet or the next room, should seriously alert her and consult a neurologist. However, such stories are a rarity. More often children react calmly when mum washes dishes in the kitchen, and the baby is sitting in the arena in the nursery, but they get excited as soon as they see that the parents are starting to get ready to work or to the store. The fact is that young children are not yet aware that the mother does not go away forever, but for a certain period of time. Kids think only a step forward. Therefore, it is important to explain that parting will not last long. Certainly you need to comfort the baby with the words that you will return. Perhaps, the crumb does not quite understand the meaning of what was said, but a calm, affectionate speech will instill confidence in him, the conviction that his mother will not disappear and will soon return. It is also useful to play hide and seek with the baby: hide behind the door, and then look sharply with laughter, once again hide - and again stick out your head. Similarly, you can play with the doll, hiding it under the pillow with the words: "Where's the doll? Where did it go? Probably went to the store "- and then take it out, exclaiming:" Here's a doll! Has come! I returned from the store! "Such illustrative examples will demonstrate to the crumb that the disappearance of the doll, mother lasts a short period and always ends with a return.
Lovely nanny
Sometimes the child's violent reactions can be caused by a sharp change in the situation. For example, when moving, which for a sensitive child can become a real stress. In this situation, you should wait a few days until the baby gets used to, and some time not to leave a crumb without Mom's attention. Adapting to a kindergarten or the appearance of a nanny, when a mother needs to go to work, is also often accompanied by psychological stress. You can reduce stress by preparing for new events in advance. If the mother is going to give the baby to the kindergarten, it is worthwhile telling the crumb beforehand what will happen to him, with whom he will be staying, it is important to tell the baby that his mother will return for him in the evening. It is best to accustom the crumb gradually, leading to the group first for an hour and playing with it, slowly increasing the time intervals. After the child gets used, you can try to leave him alone with the children for half an hour. If the crumb does not fill with tears, but, "forgetting", quietly playing, then, the adaptation is successful. The same situation with a nanny: never leave your baby with a stranger at once, let the child get used to. The first days should not be absent, it is advisable to spend them together with the child and the teacher. On the one hand, my mother will see how good the nurse is, whether she managed to establish contact with the baby, and on the other - create an atmosphere of trust when the child starts to perceive the nanny as a close, "safe" person and will remain quiet with her alone. However, here, of course, the mood of the mother is important. Children are sensitive to anxiety and uncertainty, which makes them uneasy. Therefore, the mother herself needs to trust the person she is counting on to help.
Leaving go...
Fairly early babies understand that certain stimuli generate specific reactions. Already one-year-old children clearly know that crying can force adults to attract attention and achieve what they want. And often 1,5-, 2-year-old babies can try to manipulate relatives, resorting to screaming or tears. If the child is accustomed that to any of his squeaks the mother rushes headlong, throwing important things, he will apply this method as necessary. It is often possible to meet children who rush to the floor, knocking their feet and fists, seeking the consent of their parents. It is necessary to accustom the child to expectation, not to run headlong to the calls and not succumb to provocations. You need to leave resolutely. However, before leaving, be sure to warn the child that "in 10 minutes, my mother will leave and will soon return," to hug the kid tightly, to kiss. Walking in secret - wrong strategy. Unexpectedly discovering the disappearance, the kid can get excited with a joke, deciding that he was abandoned for good. Be sure to say goodbye to the baby, you can give him a soft toy, a handkerchief or a hairpin that will embody the mother's image, "connect" with an invisible thread with the child. And you need to interest him with a fun game or an exciting lesson. When the kid is busy, there is no time for dreary meditation, the hours fly by unnoticed.
I miss you
Experiences about separation from my mother are quite natural. But if the baby even after 1.5 years hardly leaves his mother behind the threshold, it is worth thinking about. The child may not be enough attention. This happens when the mother is very busy with work and life and spends little time with a crumb. In a busy schedule, time for communication needs to be found. Even a banal reading of a book at night can dramatically change the situation for the better.