Portrait of a strong woman
You are a very purposeful person, full of vitality and strength. You can actively express your desires and intentions, you do not like to act in a roundabout way, you always choose a straight road. It is important for you to feel and see that your life is under your control. The greatest fear for you is the fear of showing weakness and becoming dependent on another person. Therefore, you willingly take responsibility for your life, as well as for the lives of others.
In friendly relations, you also take an uncompromising position: everything or nothing. Therefore, being your girlfriend is very difficult, because you have to meet very high criteria. And not everyone can be close to you.
In relations with men it is also natural for you to take responsibility and lead it with you. Therefore, often from the very first days of dating you become a leader in relationships. You plan meetings, organize entertainment and dictate your desires. And attracted to you are strong men who are able to build their own lives. After all, you absolutely do not like to associate your life with a loser and a weakling.
Are there enemies around?
Whence in you such a need to lead, impose on others their will and control people? It could well be that parents praised you for certain achievements and manifestations of strong personal qualities. And so you simply could not afford to be weak. After all, if you showed your vulnerability and insecurity, then the praise of parents would not be got to you, but to someone else. It often happens that parents compare you to other children. "Why does your friend study" excellent ", and you ...?", "Here your brother participates in the mathematics Olympiads, and you have a three". And if you had a younger sister or brother, who was forgiven what you did not say goodbye to you, as an elder, then the belief that the world is unfair and necessary to fight for a place under the sun has settled in you. And you needed to prove your rightness and fight for justice. And what has been won by such labor, it is necessary to protect. And defending your territory, defending your rights, you are accustomed to evaluate any person as an enemy who encroaches on your property. So you yourself are shielded from problems by the image of a strong independent woman.
Remember the fairy tale "The Snow Queen"? Little Gerda fearlessly set out on a journey when the Snow Queen took her brother Kai away. The girl was not frightened by the difficulties that met on her way. And, despite the fact that she was very hard, she did not show a single gram of doubt and fear. Her faithfulness and love helped to melt a piece of ice in her brother's heart ...
Life is not a fairy tale ...
But life is different from the fairy tale, that in it infrequently someone encroaches on your independence and territory, on what belongs to you. And heroic deeds are needed in military conditions, and not in the modern world and peaceful life. But you continue to create the drama of your life, fight for what is already yours, and do not notice that as a result of the struggle on the battlefield, relations, sincerity, intimacy and all the things for which you started this fight have remained. After all, there is no Snow Queen in life, but there is a real, loved by you person who feels your pressure, control, suspicion and mistrust. And why should he constantly prove to you that he loves you, if he is with you, and not with another? Why should he reach your standards, follow your principles at a time when he wants to be close to you and frankness. But you do not leave him the chance to show their feelings and emotions, their doubts and fears, you do not accept them and reject them as unacceptable and unnecessary, considering these manifestations as a sign of weakness. And when he leaves you, you are offended: "What else did he lack?". But any person still wants to feel necessary, important and meaningful. And you also want to be yourself. Few people like to fight with their beloved woman, as a rule, want to achieve understanding and acceptance. And only a weak person will exchange his freedom for material support.
Thus it turns out that the more you invest in the relations of forces, the more frightening you will lose these relations and the stronger and more real becomes the fear of losing control over the situation. Under the power of this fear, you increase control and come up against more and more resistance from the beloved. Feeling this reaction, you perceive it as a betrayal and reinforce control. And this happens as long as your partner is ready to fight with you. And when he finally gets tired of fighting, he will really leave you alone with the windmills created by your own imagination. Asam will go in search of love instead of war.
What men attract a strong woman
You want to meet a person who will look like you: the same strong, bold and energetic. And you finally meet him. But, unfortunately, he will not tolerate external control. And if you enter into a relationship of competition with him, then it is unlikely that he will want to continue such a relationship in a legitimate marriage and turn his house into a battlefield.
In another case, you can attract a typical "henpecked". He will not object to your unconditional leadership, but will lose all responsibility for the relationship, the future and even for your life on your shoulders. He will allow you to monitor each step, take all decisions, and for all your mistakes quite unceremoniously blame you. "I could not find a good job, because you ..." - he says, lying on the couch and sipping a beer. And all his life you will have to "drag" him along with him, and maybe even on himself. But do you need ballast?
Rules of survival in the modern world
Rule one. Try to understand why you are taking responsibility for everything that is happening around you, even if you are not directly concerned. If you know how to do better, you do not have to do it. Remember this!
Rule two. Try to look at the world a little differently. Everything in the world is interconnected, everything is in balance, and there are, apart from you, other forces that all "control". This is the power of the universe. It is important for you to realize that everything that happens in the world is already "programmed" by natural order. And you do not need to change anything.
The third rule. Try to give up control of someone else's life. What difference does it make to you, what kind of decision will your beloved take? This is his experience. Respect your man.
Rule four. The principle of "life is a struggle" is often wrong. All that you need, it will get to you. And you do not always need to fight. Fate is just, it compensates everyone for what belongs to it. If someone else is applying for your man, then maybe this is not your option. Because your man will only be yours. And if you make a mistake and start to win what you do not need, then you will miss yours. After all, no one can go in two ways. And, choosing one, often the wrong way, we lose all others.
The fifth rule. Try to build trust in other people, both in terms of reliability, and in terms of honesty. There are not many "professional" deceivers in the world. Of course, maybe your friend did not fulfill any promise given to you. But you should not write it down as an enemy afterwards.
Rule six. Expand your view of the world, and you will understand that it does not have black and white tones, and people do not divide into strong and weak. And it happens that the strength of a woman lies precisely in her weakness. So do not hide behind the image of a strong independent woman in the modern world and do not hesitate to ask for help in difficult situations for you. This will give you the opportunity to see your situation through the eyes of other people.