The causes and consequences of female aggression can be different. After all, everyone is angry - both men and women. Women prefer a backstage fight. Their weapons are reproaches, intrigues, caustic remarks and gossip. In men, aggression is expressed in an open form. Defending your opinion, confrontation and banal fight. Male aggression is considered quite normal. But women have to restrain themselves, so as not to lose their face. But sometimes the accumulated anger splashes out. And often women, long restraining emotions, become more aggressive than men.
Causes of female aggression.
Often the cause and consequences of women's aggression is an insurmountable wall of misunderstanding. Women feel trapped. They do not have enough space for active actions, and the accumulated energy splashes out. It must be borne in mind that aggression is primarily a function of the organism given to us by nature. Being angry within reasonable limits is even useful. Anger frees up energy, impels to change some stagnant state of things. Also, aggression helps in defending against the emerging threat and defending their interests, to overcome serious obstacles. For example, a woman becomes very aggressive when protecting her child.
Aggression is one of the causes of stressful situations. The pace of life in a large city is so rapid that the body has to be constantly in "combat form". We ourselves put ourselves in a stressful state to mobilize. To gather in a critical situation and get out of the predicament with minimal losses. By the way, that's why people in megacities are more aggressive and irritable.
Despite the fact that aggression seems to be a natural phenomenon, evil people do not like anyone. We do not know how to spill out negative emotions correctly. Anger becomes destructive when it is directed at a particular person. When a person becomes a target for you. And you will suffer from your negative emotions first of all yourself. If you want to express your dissatisfaction with the situation that has arisen, do not shift responsibility to a particular interlocutor. You should not blame someone for something, because everyone has their own truth. It's not your fault that you are in a bad mood. Want to scream - shout! You want to express yourself as a "strong word" - your right. But cry out without any eyes.
How to avoid the unpleasant consequences of aggression.
Avoiding the unpleasant consequences of aggression is not easy. If someone nags you, you should not answer the offender the same way. First, he expressed his emotions, which have nothing to do with you. If you answer him, you as though put his problems on himself. Do you need this? Secondly, try to assess what your rapid reaction to rudeness can lead to. A person can be influenced by alcohol, drugs or mentally ill. In this scenario, the offender is in an inadequate state and can do a lot of mischief.
What if you were specifically called or pushed, spoiling the mood? Well, if there is an opportunity to express a friend or loved one. Pour out, so to speak, the soul. Help and techniques known to most women - to weep in the pillow. Or vice versa - to scrap a boxing pear. But most often at hand there is neither a whipping ball nor a pillow. There are physical and psychological techniques that restore spiritual balance.
One of them: step aside, tighten your fists tightly and strain your body for a few seconds (except the muscles of the neck and face). Then you should exhale and relax. With this simple exercise, you will not attract attention - nobody will have a twist on his temple. But with this exercise the most important and difficult is to think correctly. You can not imagine a particular offender. Your anger and irritability from this will not disappear. It is necessary to think about how, together with the tension of the muscles, anger and aggression escape from you. Imagine how your anger melts, evaporates. And as soon as you unclench your fists, it will disappear.
Another way not to scream at a person is to calmly tell him that you are very offended by him. A person should be ready to hear you. This method works best with relatives and relatives. If you are offended by a loved one, say this: "Dear, I want us to make it up. But it hinders me that I'm very angry with you. I need time to calm down. These are just my emotions. And I have to deal with them myself. Give me, please, five minutes. I will calm down, and we will discuss the situation in a peaceful atmosphere. " In this case, do not talk about your companion, but about the current state of affairs. Do not exclude yourself from the situation. It is better to recognize your impotence and say directly: "I so want to scream at you!". The open position is the most effective for making the right decisions.
Female aggression is most often manifested in the family. After experiencing a lot of negative emotions at work, charged with aggression, we carry her into the house. From her suffer for and without, not only the relationship between husband and wife. Most often the most vulnerable family members are children. Often, throwing out negative emotions, we strongly regret what happened. But the word is not a sparrow. Saying once - you will not return back.
Much of what annoys you happens regardless of your desire or effort. It is necessary to accept this fact as an axiom. For example, you are lonely, and your husband is constantly detained at work. Does not give you due attention. Before you get angry with him, analyze - what is the reason for this behavior. Maybe he really has an urgent job. Or maybe he just does not want to go home to a grumpy wife? What to do if family relationships are dear to you? First of all - to understand that scandals only aggravate the situation. Be sure to politely ask him to come home early. And to wake up his feelings, resort to small tricks. The shortest way to the heart of a man is through a plate of thick cabbage soup. For a while, cook every day, let not an "expensive", but a delicious dinner. And that every time - something new. Put yourself in order. Buy a new set of intimate lingerie. Surprise him with a kind word. And in a week you will not have to be angry with him. You will help not only the husband and children. First of all, you will help yourself. Your health depends on your state of mind.
Here are some more valuable tips that will help not get annoyed over trifles and pacify your aggression:
- In a difficult situation, share your experiences with your girlfriend. But torment her no more than half an hour. Otherwise, it may get tired of you or overwhelm your problems.
- You should not fight with windmills. React to what is happening at the moment. If a half-day scrolling in my head a five-second insult is a direct way to uncontrolled aggression.
- Do not give out the actual for the desired. Before flaring up, think: Does the colleague really call you incompetent, or did you decide that she meant it?
- If you are annoyed, then count to ten. And slowly. Learning to slow down the aggressive reaction, you will soon be able to avoid it at all.
- Learn a couple of exercises that relax the muscles. A person can not physically become angry if his body is relaxed.
"The best reaction is to present an irritating person as an importunate fly. Pozhuzhzhit, pozhuzhzhit and cease. A small insect, what to take from it? In the end - do not bite the same.
- Think, will the problem have meaning for you in fifteen minutes? And in two hours? Should I tear my nerves for being forgotten by the evening?
According to the laws not only of physics, but also of psychology, like this gives rise to such. Or the force of action is equal to the force of opposition. If you are not clever, then you can say in another way: When you "adequately" respond aggression to aggression, then the conflict inevitably intensifies. And if you show a little self-control, then an aggressive person, without receiving a response, will lose interest in you. Only you decide whether to live in harmony with yourself, or spread this world into small pieces. And still, harmony is better!