Remember how once you could not tear yourself apart from each other? You enjoyed every moment spent together. Now you use every moment to spend some time alone. You do not want any intimacy, as if someone pulled a button with the function "sex" from your control panel. Your partner is upset and does not understand what happened. You are also worried, because you are afraid that conflicts will arise against this background and the relations will come to an end. Where does the lack of sexual desire originate in a woman? And most importantly - what to do about it?
Cause 1. Tortured routine
Lack of desire to have sex suddenly or gradually worsened the situation? If you chose the latter - you just tired of monotony. Sex turned into "obligatory", passion disappeared along with the rest of the feelings. You are just fed up with what's happening in your bedroom. If events always follow the same scenario - you know from and to what will happen in the next minute. It is only natural that the intimacy with your man no longer excites you. As, however, as your partner, who understands that he ceased to be your ideal lover.
How can I change the situation? Silence does not solve the problem, so talk to your husband. But before doing this, think about what exactly it can do for you. Think about your desires and what you want in bed. If you see that you can not convince a partner to change your sex life - it is better to consult a specialist. The sexologist will tell you how you can re-awaken your desires.
Cause 2. In the hormones of the hormone
If you have lost your libido dramatically, after specific events or some health problem - the cause may be hormonal changes in the body. With a decrease in the level of certain hormones, your desire to have sex also decreases. Perhaps the approach of menopause or the side effects of contraceptives. Quite often it is also a symptom of a sick thyroid gland, for example, hypothyroidism. So look yourself. Do you still feel any anxious symptoms? Maybe you have symptoms such as irregular menstruation, sudden fever, or you suffer from excessive drowsiness, fatigue, loss of mood? In general, this reason is not so terrible. The hormonal background can be leveled by applying a certain therapy. Only one condition: you need to do this under the supervision of a doctor.
How can I change the situation? Do not forget to contact your gynecologist and tell him about your problems and comments. Your doctor will check your hormone level and decide what to do next. If the cause is menopause, you will be asked to choose a suitable drug for hormone replacement therapy. It will help relieve symptoms and enjoy sex as before. If the cause is poorly selected birth control pills, it probably has some time to stop taking them. Then you will have to retest. At this time, other methods of contraception, such as condoms or vaginal contraceptives, can be used. If, however, there is a suspicion that you have a thyroid pathology, then the doctor will refer you to a specialist endocrinologist.
Cause 3. You have different approaches to sex
For your partner, sex is a way to relieve tension. He had a hard day at work, he just wants to relax. At you all on the contrary. Sex begins in the head, and it instantly affects the desire. Have you recently experienced something that makes you live in a state of stress? These can be temporary problems at work, an inexplicable financial situation or an insult to a partner. Anything that can affect your unwillingness to have sex. You do not separate emotions from sex, so if you are not at peace with yourself, you will not have the desire to love.
How can I change the situation? Do not force yourself to anything. Sometimes, it's just worth the wait. When the stressful situation clears up, everything will return to normal. Often in an attempt to change something you will only make it worse. If you feel that your libido is accompanied by general weakness, lack of joy and unwillingness to do what was previously enjoyable - contact a psychologist. No desire to have sex in some people means having serious emotional problems (depression, neurosis). And if you think that you do not have anything else left, and you think that it is your problem - talk to your partner. Do not expect the problem to disappear.
Explain to him what's going on
For most women, sex is physical and emotional energy, it is strengthening the connection between two people, a way to express love. For men, it's just sex - relaxation, physical act, it does not connect with emotions, it does not bear the affirmation of feelings. Therefore, probably your man is so hard to understand exactly what you want, and what you do not want. Your sudden lack of sexual desire can even frighten a man. He really can not understand what the problem is.
It is important that you talk with him about what is happening to you. The woman needs both partners to find the reason for the lack of sexual desire. In no case should you pretend that there are no problems. And, of course, do not force yourself to do what you do not want, because this will only increase disgust for sex. Female libido is sometimes capricious, and it is very important to quickly find the reasons for its decline and make sure that everything returns to normal.
Lowering the libido is a disease?
In recent years, the diagnosis of female sexual disorders of sexual desire has become a science. Recent studies conducted at Wayne State University in Detroit showed differences in the processes occurring in the brain of a woman complaining of low libido. The author of the study, Dr. Michael Diamond, suggests that the real cause is a physical problem. A study of scientists involved 50 women who had low libido. Records of brain activity were compared with seven other women who did not have such a problem. Women watched daily television programs, which were interrupted by inserts of erotic films. The family of "problem-free" women could see changes in the brain departments responsible for sexual arousal. The rest did not find such changes. Women suffering from violations of libido, had no feelings.
This study provides evidence that low libido is a disease of self-motivated people. But not all experts in this field are of the same opinion. Peter Bell, a sex therapist, believes that the lack of brain activity in erotic pictures of a woman who has lost interest in sex can have different reasons. This disorder is now recognized as a disease, but it remains unknown whether there is one or several reasons for this. According to experts, many factors, ranging from lifestyle, physical problems, such as polycystic ovary syndrome, can cause loss of sexual desire in women.