The house is in a great hurry, but screams, screams, crying are heard from the children's room ... And precisely at that moment, when you decided to start another urgent matter. Well, why can not children play together at least half an hour without loud quarrels and flammable tears? Again, you have to act as a judge and separate the unfortunate fighters. Or maybe it's better not to pay attention to the ensuing dispute, let them sort it out themselves?
Brothers and sisters
Let's think about why children often argue and fight, why one or another tries to win you over to your side and win your sympathies. The fact that childhood jealousy is quite common. Some children manage to overcome this feeling and find a peaceful way to resolve disputes. Others bring a lot of trouble to adult constant conflicts, arising for various reasons.
Notice how the older child differs from the younger child by his behavior. The elder wants to be the center of attention. After the appearance of a younger brother or sister, he has to share the love and attention of parents who once got to him alone. With all the truths and crooks, he tries to regain the status of the main. The younger, on the contrary, it is difficult to keep up with the eldest. Usually it becomes its complete opposite. The younger seek to be the best where the senior fails. Not wishing to put up with the position of the weaker, he often provokes conflicts. The appearance of a third child often changes the priorities in the family.
Parents refer to the baby as the first child. They become touched, they pay more attention and allow much more than for older children. At the same time, the most disadvantaged is the average child, who was recently the youngest. From the elder he lags all the time, and the new favorite of the family is already "stepping on the heels", because adults are always on his side. The way that there are often disputes and troubles depends not only on the number of children and the order of their appearance. less the difference in age of children, the more bitter their cries will lift on his feet the worried parents. Also important and little wranglers floor. More frequent and serious conflicts arise between children of the same sex, but brother and sister manages much easier to find a common language. Ca s irrepressible brawlers - it's the kids of the same sex with a difference at the age of one to two years.
Often parents themselves do not want that, provoke the children to conflict behavior.
To all the sisters on the earrings. Oh, what a wise proverb! It's a pity, it's not always possible to follow it to the full ... Many parents believe that extra quarrels and insults can be avoided if children are given the same toys, and give sweets equally. In fact, everything is not so simple. Kids will really swear less often, but only when you fairly share between them not only gifts, but also your feelings. Praise and reproach, encourage and punish every child in the same measure, there should be no favorites. Praise properly. Sometimes, it's parents who, without noticing it, kindle a rivalry between children. How often do you compare kids to each other, praising the dignity of one and condemning the shortcomings of the other? "Look at your little sister, how fast she eats, well, she's just clever! And you, as always, you sit with your mouth open and the crow count, "- after such remarks, the child has a feeling that he is worse than his sister and that they love him less. Try to avoid unreasonable comparisons, because the youngest will never be a copy of the older one , despite the same upbringing.
Problems can arise even when the older child is at a disadvantage compared with the younger. It is clear that the elder will always have more responsibilities. However, make sure that their fulfillment was within the power of the child and not at the expense of his favorite pursuits. Do not force the elder to constantly carry a younger brother or sister. Older children want to play with their peers "no load," so they are able to take out their dissatisfaction with the younger ones, offending them. "The karapuzes retaliate with loud sobs and complaints for every trifle.
React adequately
How correctly to react to denunciations of small nonsense? First of all, never encourage them. If the child resorts with the message that the younger brother dropped your mobile phone into the aquarium with fish, tell him that you are happy to listen to the story of his personal "exploits," and that your brother's affairs do not interest you at all. Let the children understand that you are not suffer, if they will bring trouble on each other.
We will be diplomats
Because of what there are quarrels? The most banal occasion is a toy not shared by the kids. Especially aggressive children react to ridicule, mockery, injustice or deception. What should an adult do if small fidgets once again unleashed a loud argument? Behave diplomatically. Try not to get involved in a quarrel, watch the children from outside, maybe they will cope with the conflict and without your help. And do not forget to praise the kids after they find a way to negotiate with each other. Remember that your task is to, first, put out the aggression and calm the children. Secondly, you need to teach them how to behave properly in such conflicts, and ideally - do without them. And then there will be peace in the house!