At this age, children make for themselves a great and important discovery that everything has a beginning and an end, including human life. The child begins to realize that the end of life can happen to him and his parents. The last children are afraid most of all, because they are afraid of losing their parents. Babes can ask questions such as: "Where did life come from?" Why does everyone die? How many grandfathers lived? Why did he die? Why do all people live? ". Sometimes children are afraid of terrible dreams about death.
Where does the child's fear of death arise?
Up to five years the child perceives everything surrounding him as animate and constant, he has no idea of death. Since the age of 5, the child begins to actively develop abstract thinking, the child's intellect. In addition, at this age the child becomes more and more cognitive. He becomes curious about what space and time, he understands this and comes to the conclusion that every life has a beginning and an end. This discovery becomes alarming for him, the child begins to worry for his life, for his future and his loved ones, he is afraid of death in the present tense.
Do all children have a fear of death?
In almost all countries, children aged 5-8 years old are afraid of dying, experiencing fear. But this fear is expressed in everyone's own way. Everything depends on what events occur in his life, with whom the child lives, what are the individual characteristics of the child's character. If the kid at this age has lost his parents or close people, then he is especially strong, more afraid of death. Also, this fear is more often experienced by those children who do not have a strong male influence (expressed in the form of protection), often carrying the disease and emotionally sensitive children. Girls often begin to experience this fear earlier than boys, they have nightmares much more often.
However, there are children who are not afraid of death, they do not know the feeling of fear. Sometimes this happens when parents create all the conditions, so that children do not have a single reason to imagine that there is something to be afraid of, around them is the "artificial world". As a result, such children often become indifferent, their emotions become dull. Therefore, they do not have feelings of anxiety either for their own lives or for the lives of others. Other children - from parents with chronic alcoholism - lack the fear of death. They do not experience, they have low emotional sensitivity, and if such children and experience emotions, then only very fleeting.
But it is quite real and such cases when children do not experience and do not experience the fear of death, whose parents are cheerful and optimistic. Children without any deviations simply do not experience such experiences. However, the fear that death can occur at any time is present in most preschool children. But it is this fear, its awareness and experience, which is the next step in the development of the child. He will survive his life experience in understanding what is death and what it threatens.
If this does not happen in the life of the child, then this childish fear can make itself felt later, it will not be reworked, and, therefore, will prevent it from developing further, only strengthen other fears. And where there are fears, there are more restrictions in realizing oneself, there is less opportunity to feel free and happy, to be loved and to love.
What parents should know in order not to harm
Adults - parents, relatives, older children - often by their careless word or behavior, act, without noticing it, harm the child. He needs support in dealing with the temporary state of fear of death. Instead of encouraging the baby and supporting him, even more fear comes on him, thereby frustrating the child and leaving him alone with his fears. Hence the resulting unhappy consequences in mental health. In order that such fears do not take various forms of mental disability in the future of the child, and the fear of death does not become chronic, parents need to know what not to do:
- Do not make fun of him about his fears. Do not laugh at the child.
- Do not scold the child for his fears, do not let him feel guilty for fear.
- Do not ignore the child's fears, do not pretend as if you do not notice them. It is important for children to know that you are "on their side". With such tough behavior on your part, children will be afraid to admit their fears. And afterwards the child's confidence in the parents will weaken.
- Do not throw your child's empty words, for example: "See? We are not afraid. You, too, should not be afraid, be brave. "
- If someone from loved ones died by illness, you should not explain this to your baby. Since the child identifies these two words and is always afraid when his parents fall ill or himself.
- Do not engage in frequent conversations with a child about illness, about someone's death, about someone's misfortune with a child of the same age.
- Do not inspire the children that they may become infected with some kind of fatal disease.
- Do not isolate your child, do not take care of him unnecessarily, let him have the opportunity to develop independently.
- Do not let the child watch everything on TV and refuse to watch horror movies. Screams, cries, groans coming from the TV, are reflected on the child's psyche, even if he is asleep.
- Do not bring your child to a teenage period for a funeral.
How best to act
- For parents, it should be a rule that children's fears are another signal to be even more caring with them, to protect their nervous system, this is a call for help.
- To treat the child's fear with respect, without undue concern or absolute disinterest. Behave as if you understand him, have long known about such fears and are not at all surprised by his fears.
- To restore peace of mind, give more time to the child, more caress and caring.
- Create all the conditions at home so that the child can tell about his fears without warning.
- Create a "distracting maneuver" from the fears of the child and unpleasant experiences - go with him to the circus, cinema, theater, visit the attractions.
- More involve the child with new interests and acquaintances, so he will be distracted and will switch his attention from inner experiences to new interest.
- It is necessary to inform the child very carefully about the death of someone from relatives or relatives. Best of all, if you say that the death occurred due to old age or a very rare disease.
- Try not to send a child in this period alone to a sanatorium on vacation to improve your health. Try to postpone various operations (adenoid in the child) during the period of fear of death in the child.
- Try to overcome your fears and shortcomings, such as fear of thunder and lightning, dogs, thieves, etc., do not show them to the child, otherwise he can "catch" them.
- If you pass on to relatives for the time of your children, ask them to follow the same advice.
If parents understand the feelings and experiences of children, accept their inner world, then they help the child to cope more quickly with their childish fears, the fear of death, and, therefore, move to the next stage of mental development.