Obvious advantages
We are attached to them, we are involved in their lives emotionally. We are ready to spend our personal time and care for them grooming, hiking to the vet and finding useful food ... We tolerate all the inconveniences associated with their maintenance: their wool, which, it seems, is already everywhere in the house, their specific smells. For what are all these victims? Until recently, all psychologists agreed that having a pet in the house plays a positive role. For example, in the presence of his dog, a child who does not know how to concentrate and who does not have a chance to learn poems, suddenly recites them without a hitch. Elderly people find in communication with pets a lack of emotions. We like communicating with pets because it is emotionally safe, predictable and understandable. We know that when we cross the threshold of the house, the beloved cat will begin to rumble loudly and rub against the legs. And no matter how much we throw the ball, our dog will surely bring it to us in the teeth. Communication with our lesser brothers really does bring us real pleasure and charges with a positive, it is comfortable for us. After all, we talk to them, share our secrets and experiences, believing that animals hear us and understand everything. In other words, we are always sure that we will receive emotional feedback from any of our actions or even a word, which is very important for us. In general, the presence of a dog or cat at home has many advantages. It seems to us that they understand us, we feel their gratitude and sympathy for us, an emotional disposition. They will never criticize us, accepting us as we are. After all, a dog, by and large, does not really matter how good a person is its owner. It is something similar to that unconditional acceptance, which is born from the mother to her own baby. And after all, it is we who are so lacking when we grow up.
Agree, it is far from always so comfortable and safe for us to be in the company of other people, even very close ones. After all, they are also quite unpredictable, often their words and actions can hurt painfully. Moreover, they evaluate us, while not always positively, quite often even criticized. In a society of people, we rarely can count on the emotions that we get from communicating with your favorite dog or cat. In this case, not all of us will have strong counterarguments in the dispute with the author of the famous aphorism: "The more I recognize people, the more I love dogs." And then, only with pets we feel more powerful and strong. After all, their life, well-being and pleasure directly depend on us and our decisions. And the tactile sensations that we experience, caressing a pet, they give us comfort, comfort. And the answer to the question, why warm-blooded woolly mammals become our pets, seems to be quite obvious. However, not all so simple. We invest so much in our pets not only because it's our whim and we so want.
We ascribe to our pets human feelings, actions, emotions and thoughts. No wonder we sometimes think that a little more - and he will start to speak, and become a full-fledged person. This phenomenon is called anthropomorphism. It's about the fact that a humanized pet often turns into a full-fledged member of the family for us. It is included in our family life. It's not for nothing that some age pairs, who do not have children or children, have already grown up and left their parents' home, refer to their dog or cat as their child. Often they even admit that they do not experience such strong emotions to their children.
Four-legged intermediaries
Recent studies do not confirm the conclusions about the exclusively positive role of the dog or cat in the development of the family. The fact that we, unaware of this, use our pets as intermediaries in relations with other members. Quite often the very presence of a four-legged friend in the family is already a symptom of a lack of an emotional connection of a certain type in her. In other words, the animal can soften the problem, or, on the contrary, can aggravate it. But she will never solve it. It's always a half-measure. It is known that a domestic pet can "support" the family at different stages of its development, life cycle. Moreover, his appearance in the family is never accidental. The decision to start a dog or cat often occurs at the most seemingly inauspicious moment - when the family undergoes changes (at the time of the wife's pregnancy, immediately after the birth of the child or when he turns 3, or 13-15). It is due to the fact that family members will try to reduce the psychological stress, anxiety caused by these changes with the help of a pet. And, instead of surviving them, the family is not ready for them, it can not cope with them. Then the four-legged pet becomes a wand-whip. Moreover, at such times it is simply impossible to persuade a family not to start a pet.
Third you?
In family systemic therapy, it is considered that the triad is more stable than the dyad. In other words, a family of three people is more stable than a couple. The third allows the other two family members to reduce anxiety. Traditionally, the third becomes a child. This is the most stable channel for expressing the emotions of adults: when talking about an infant, parents can not even touch the complexities in the relationships that arise between them. In a young family in which there are no children, or in a couple where adult children have already separated from their parents, a puppy or a kitten psychologically replaces ... a child. And for a young couple, and for a more mature domestic pet can play the role of "ideal child". In this case, he does not allow them to learn to resolve constructively the conflicts that arise. And does not allow the family to move to the next stage of the life cycle - to have a child or to let the grown up children go.
Unhelpful substitute
Sometimes a four-legged friend can replace not only the child, but also another member of the family. Say, in the case of a divorce from an aggressive husband who could allow assault, a woman starts a formidable, spiteful dog. Despite the efforts of the trainer, the hostess provokes the dog to display aggressive behavior. In this situation, a woman recreates the habitual situation of "victim-hangman", which she experienced in marriage. In this case, the role of a domestic pet is not positive. In another situation, a puppy or a kitten can help survive the depression associated with the death of a significant family member. Here the role of the pet is positive.
Secret Separation Agent
Often, pets become a stumbling block in relations between young people. They use the principle - if you do not love my cat / dog, then you do not love me. Thus, even hiding from themselves their fears, doubts and anxieties associated with the partner. Say, a girl meets a young man, and she has a cat at home. At some point, the girl had to decide whether to go to them or not? The girl was tormented by the question: a young man is allergic to animal hair, so he does not really like her cat, how to be? As a result, the girl decided to part with a man. In this case, the cat, without knowing it, became a separation agent. The girl actually doubted herself and the feelings of the young man. Her anxiety found a way out, switching all attention to the cat. After all, if the girl was confident that with this person she would live her life, give birth to children, etc., her pet could be looked for other masters. Otherwise, four-legged pets can play a positive role, helping adolescents separate from constantly controlling parents.