The main problem is that the modern parent is even quite comfortable if his child does not go anywhere with friends, does not find himself in troubled situations, does not like a complete mess in the house, does not bring crowds of children whose games head breaks up. A single child does not cause unnecessary trouble and does not bother anyone. True, a comfortable child? But few will argue that nothing worse than child's loneliness can not be. It makes the life of your child uninteresting and gray, it leaves an imprint on all of its future.
How to identify the problem?
Fortunately, the majority of parents, having discovered that their child has no idea about children's friendship with boys and girls, begin to sound a serious alarm. How does this come to light?
Sometimes the child confesses that he has no friends, that he has no one to play with, there is no one to ask for help, there is no one to return from school with, there is no one to even just talk to. More often, however, children tend to hide their loneliness. Parents in this case learn about this by accident, having watched the child at a school-wide event or another collective gathering.
If the child is not friendly with anyone, it does not just reflect his character. Often this is accompanied by the pathological uncommunicative nature of the child, both at home and in society. Sneakiness, excessive vulnerability, seclusion, apathy, hypodynamia - that's just an incomplete list of what usually leads to the loneliness of your child. And the years are flying, you will not have time to blink and the eye will see how the childhood of your child will end, the adolescent period will come, and there it will be not long before adulthood. Begin to help your child right from today!
How to help the child?
First you need to find common ground. Children, unlike adults, can still be disinhibited and, if necessary, brought to clean water. You are the closest person to him! Speak sincerely and frankly with the child. Find out what worries him, what his problems are, what he is hampered, what he needs, what he is striving for.
The simplest parental care, interaction, empathy always bring good results. After all, a child is often alone, because in the family they do not talk at all, keep a distance, hide their feelings and emotions. Perhaps the reason lies on the surface, but you just do not notice it.
Causes of child loneliness.
The popularity of a child among peers may well depend on the most commonplace reasons. For example, the availability of material values and appearance. The child can be ashamed of his thinness, fullness, braces, red hair, not quite a fashionable phone and so on. In this case, you need to add confidence to the child. Discuss with him the purchase of a new valuable item taking into account the family budget. Modern children are usually well versed in the sphere of this economy, and can wait until you save up the right amount. In any case, he will be pleased that his wishes in the family are taken into account.
As for the exterior, the best thing you can do is record a child in the sports section. For example, your son is weakened physically, for which classmates consider him a mattress, called, subjected to persecution. With other children in the yard - the same. So, when attending training in boxing or track and field, you and your child will kill two birds with one stone: strengthen the child physically, and, undoubtedly, increase his authority among peers. At least he will not be more accurately matted.
Also from the section there is one more benefit. Many modern children go to school as a job: they came, they disaccustomed, they returned home, they sat down at the computer, so they did not communicate with anyone. If the child has a day schedule, time is allocated for lessons and leisure, then he will have more contact with people. For example, in the same section of boxing, he will have to work closely with other boys, fight, compete, take advice on the performance of the reception, discuss the competition. Here you want, you do not want, but you'll get a bosom friend.
Girls are loneliness contraindicated!
Boys are simpler than girls in fact, you only need to understand what they lack for happiness: to drive with the father of the ball, get permission to play computer with classmates after classes, go to the park with a cousin and so on. The girls are more sophisticated. It may be that no one is friends with your daughter, not because she has unfashionable shoes, but because she herself is tearing up the nose too much, is building a queen, to which the other girls are far away.
In this case, you do not need to let the daughter of the day watch TV programs at her own discretion, where she can gain unnecessary skills for herself. Tell your daughter about your childhood, about your nice girlfriends, each of which had its own unique character. The main thing is how good, sympathetic, understanding, loyal, cheerful they were. Let her read not the pages of glossy magazines, but the tales of Charles Perrault, in which good and friendship are praised.
Do not leave the girl alone at home, lead to shopping, theaters, exhibitions - let her daughter see that there is a diverse world around her, and there are many interesting things in it. Let her invite her at least three classmates to her birthday, and she will prepare a festive dish herself specially for them.
The girl is my mother's assistant and girlfriend. Therefore, always be aware of her school life and personal affairs. Perhaps the daughter imitates you in the way you treat people, so be affable and good-natured with others. Tell your daughter about the secrets of beauty, rare plants, mysterious animals, about cultural values, then she will want to share her knowledge with someone. Remember that common interests bring together not only adults but also children.
If your child is not friends with other children - this is not only his problem, but also your direct parental responsibility. The child must necessarily be directed to communicate with peers, "melt" his heart, help him in overcoming obstacles to happiness, given to friendship.