The status of the partner who was changed.
After adultery, a person has a strong sense of confusion and heartache. In this state, he can commit different actions: he can start revenge, try to understand the situation, find out the relationship. And this is natural: we all want to get rid of the pain as quickly as possible, by making a decision on how to live on. More often than not, such a decision is the breaking of relations. However, psychologists who deal with the issues of the psychology of betrayal, advise in a state of affect not to make sharp movements. In order to make a decision on how to proceed, it should take a long time until this moment. A person at this time will be able to calm down and make a reasonable decision.
From this not simple situation there can be quite a lot of exits and breaking relations - not the only way out. To make the right decision to understand what all the same happened, first of all, you need to bring yourself into a calm state of mind, which is very difficult.
For this, conversations with a psychologist who understands the issues of the psychology of adultery, work, travel, sports can help. After you have found the inner balance, try to take a sensible and sober look at the situation.
There are different reasons for the change. We list some of them.
Reasons for change.
1. Treason is a signal of extinct love. In psychology, treason is the first reason. In this case, you need to clarify with your partner your relationship and get courage to calmly get out of the relationship. Perhaps your partner did not have the heart to tell you the truth, but you can only blame him for this, and not because he does not have love for you.
2. Treason is a signal of a problem in relationships. In the structure of the psychology of betrayal, this is the second reason. If you have problems in relationships - this does not mean that love has gone. Rather, on the contrary, this betrayal shows that your partner in this way wants to solve the problem and return love. For example, if a husband feels that his wife has alienated him, he may suddenly have an attraction to the secretary. But the basis of this attraction is not love for the secretary, but an attempt to cope with a feeling of frustration. That is, instead of giving his wife a claim, the husband unconsciously tries to correct the situation through treason. Psychologists often say that treason can sometimes be a stabilizer in a relationship. Often people who have passed through adultery are subsequently remembered as a good lesson, taught them to treat their partner more attentively, with greater sympathy and understanding, taught to be generous, more tolerant, helping.
3. Treason is a signal that a person has some internal problems. In the structure of the psychology of treason, this is also a fairly common reason. There can be a lot of such problems. For example, a person is not ready for a serious relationship. Once a person understands that the relationship with the partner is already beginning to shift to a different level, internal fear is pushing him to betray him. In this case, the person himself is very afflicted. After all, some part of him wants a serious relationship, but some fears and pushes the person out of the depths.
Another internal problem is self-doubt. A person very often increases his self-esteem by a large number of sexual relationships. So he wants to prove to himself and the whole world that he is superwoman or superman, that he is the lord of bodies and souls and the winner. And since insecurity in itself is a very deep internal problem that can not be solved in this way, the person remains, as before, with his dissatisfaction and uncertainty.
Psychologists distinguish one more problem. They relate this problem to various kinds of stereotypes, namely, the following is a lack of self-confidence in following these stereotypes. For example, this stereotype is common, that a real man must necessarily have both a wife and a mistress. Or, for example, it is often said that a certain dependence causes loyalty to one partner, and in order to avoid this dependence a person comes up with different ways.
What to do?
There are other reasons, in any case, not in all situations it would be reasonable to react with a complete rupture of relations. After all, if in the event of a person's betrayal, his internal problems drive him, then the correct and qualified resolution of these problems can help not only to restore relations, but also to make these relations more sincere and profound, which are not overshadowed by psychological difficulties. Of course, this can only happen if the relationship is expensive.
Maybe a loving person who has faced the fact of treason, instead of sitting back and suffering from resentment, from negative emotions, from self-pity, one must try to look at the situation differently? For example, just see that in this situation, the two suffer. To see that life is a complicated thing. To realize that some reason is always behind the investigation, and that reason may be unknown to us or we misinterpret it. Remember that treason is just a signal, but if you correctly understand this signal, you can not destroy, but improve and update the relationship.
And in conclusion, when talking about treason, it should be said that betrayal can become both a beginning and an end, and how the relationship ends, only we must decide.