"Is there love?" What are its signs? I do not believe in it ... "- this question was asked to me by a fifteen-year-old girl. I thought ... In fact, the discussion on the topic - whether there is love most often begin to affect us in adolescence. It was during these years that we first encounter the first love adventures, disappointments and grievances. What is really happening to us: the hormonal reconstruction of the organism or the first acquaintance with the school of life?
Over the years, gaining experience in the relationship with the opposite sex, we look quite differently both to love, and to all the consequences that follow from it. The main thing is that the first disappointments of a young age do not have a negative impact on the girl's psyche and her views on life and on men in particular. It would be nice to have a wise advisor next to him, better, of course, a mother or another reliable person.
Given the vulnerability of the young soul and the still unpreparedness of the young psyche to perceive life's disappointments adequately, it is important and it would be nice not to rush with the first sex. The girl should be, first of all, ready for the fact that love can be and not for life, that it may not be loved. The first sex should not be a "pay" for the love or whim of someone. Sex can only be when it brings pleasure to the woman herself, without demanding anything in return.
So what is love? We often love, demanding reciprocity. A certain selfish note works: "You to me - I to you" ... Pure, selfless love does not require anything in return, but such love is rare and does not bring happiness to a loving person. Often a love impulse is confused with true love. Infatuation is a fleeting feeling, most likely the influence of the same human hormones: we are burning, burning, losing our head, and after a while we can not understand what we found in the subject of our adoration.
When you love, you will endure, wait calmly, without question and with a spark of inner happiness. As one little girl said: "Love is when mother sees how dad sits on the toilet, and she does not mind it." The foregoing confirms once again that love is multifaceted, there are many manifestations of love, and each person can express his formulation of this feeling.
As there are no two identical people, so there are no two identical manifestations of love. Each person loves in different ways, as he is given. Therefore, the love of the same woman with different men will be different: with one passionate, selfless and unhappy at the same time, with another - quiet, calm and reliable. But this does not say that the first or second loved her more or less, or she did it ...
With age we learn to love. And if at the age of fifteen we gnawed our elbows and wept in a pillow from some kind of love failure, then at twenty-five, not every woman would depress herself in this way. Formed as a person, knowing her own worth, a woman learns to be a "predator" in hunting for men. If it happened otherwise, and you run at the first call of a man, then, most likely, he will quickly lose interest to you.
Yes, there is love at first sight, I also believe in it, but not everyone has the opportunity to experience such love. True feeling is often born not from the first minutes of the meeting, but much later, sometimes even after a year. Therefore, one must be able or learn how to create such relationships that will become stronger and stronger with each passing day. Naturally, for such an attitude you need a certain experience or a born talent.
And now consider the theoretical aspects of the concept of "love". It is known that love is different, on the basis of this, distinguish several types of love.
Types of love
- Eros - love-passion, caused, above all, by sexual attraction. It is passion, corporeal and spiritual, more for yourself than for the other, love itself is bright and enthusiastic. This kind of love is not always happy, because in a rush of emotions, lovers often lose their heads, and then comes the moment of "sobering up".
- Filia - love-friendship, love-liking for a conscious, thoughtful choice. This is a calmer feeling. On the other hand, in this love, you can even provide some calculation, as a person ponders and analyzes his relationship. In the teachings of Plato, this type of love is elevated to the highest degree.
- Agape is a spiritual, altruistic love. It is sacrificial love, love for the sake of another, as a sacrifice to oneself. World religions view this love as the highest of man's earthly feelings. Not every person can love with such love, love without demanding anything in return. In fact, this is true love. It is a pity that often this kind of love is not mutual.
- Storge - family love, love-attention, love-tenderness. Such love should be present in an ideal family, where mutual understanding, respect for one another reigns. Often in this type of love outgrow the above forms.
- Mania is love-obsession, causing a warm fever, confusion and pain in the soul, loss of sleep and appetite. It sounds pretty dangerous, although many young girls in their teens "suffer" with this type of love.
The truth is: love manifests itself in different forms and colors. And no matter how love looked, it always was, is and will be. And what you like is its manifestation - eros, affiliate, agape, storge or mania, to choose and feel only to you. Have you ever tried to talk about whether there is love with a friend or a loved one and a loved one? It would be interesting to know his personal opinion. Although, truth be told, not everyone will tell you their life's truth ...