And I love married
We are so arranged: everything that is forbidden and unattainable, causes us much more interest than what is available and permitted. We are drawn to peep into the keyhole not only in the literal sense, but also in the figurative. Reading the yellow press, rinsing lingerie of celebrities, in something akin to reading the boyfriend's esemesoks - somehow embarrassing to read it all, but after all, horror is as interesting! And no less than the distant Mel Gibson, curious husband of Olya - Vasily. She talks about him so much! He's not like your boring Nikolai! How many times have you hinted that you are hungry for new experiences, and he in return only feeds you with promises to do something more interesting than watching the show about Dr. House. Another thing Vasya ... Gives his wife gifts, surprises, good in sex (in this you were convinced on the basis of Oliny detailed stories), and generally wears it in your arms! "What if? .. No, that's too much," - you think, but you smile secretly, smiling, imagining yourself next to the impeccable Basil ...
Let's look at several variants of statements about the fear of love for a married man. We tend to idealize someone else's man because of a lack of attention to his own person. Such love quickly passes, as soon as new fans appear on the horizon, because your attention-requiring "I" needs to be constantly fueled by the energy of admiration. In addition, very seldom and very few dare to take the first step by going against the prohibitions. The most courageous, as a rule, are deprived at once two close people - the true girlfriend and the boyfriend.
There are women who, along with a sense of love, are accustomed to experiencing feelings of guilt, shame, bitterness, anger, disappointment. They unconsciously choose men who are "not allowed" or "difficult" to love, thereby tormenting themselves. Such a woman even fantasies about the "forbidden fruit" is enough to get a dose of negative emotions and to experience surrogate pleasure from them. It is also necessary to take into account the factor of pseudo security. The illusion that it is safe with relatives, close, already familiar men, spurs to the relationship with them.
And indeed, with free men more risk and with love. How much energy is needed to attract, tame, and then hold the object of love! And here: take it - I do not want to! However, this situation has another side of the coin. Relations with forbidden men are attracted by the opportunity to quickly "wind down the business. If you suddenly become frightened by the opening depth of feelings and do not have the courage to build relationships in the open, you can always escape, explaining this to the man and above all to yourself, the existing taboo.
Here is one of their ways of clever utterances about the fear of love. Switch attention to another object. It can be like a nice neighbor or a colleague at work, and old friends with whom you have not seen for a long time. Try to reduce the relationship with the object of forbidden love to a minimum. Smart man himself will understand everything, and will not provoke you, giving excessive attention.
Answer the question: why do you need this? All that: fear and guilt make us go to such an experiment - for the sake of pleasure or new emotions. But the emotions are short-lived, but you will have to reap their rewards for a long time: the transformation (and deformation) of friendly and kinship ties, the frequent feeling of emptiness and misunderstanding - it's still gently said!
Look deeper
Clearly analyze the situation with love. You think he's perfect? It may turn out that behind the external attractiveness and sympathy for you lies a pile of unresolved family problems. Do you want to be someone's outlet? And especially pay attention to the fact that often we simply mistaken the simple sympathy for love. Understand yourself!